013 ♍ VIDEO

[glowsferatu]

[ Kanaya turns on the camera, glancing at a distant point to the side, wearing a great scowl. ]

Have you ever had those days when you've had to empty out your savings to relocate friends whose lives are in active danger?

Well, happy birthday to me.

[ She finally looks at the camera directly, as Ashiah can be seen bumbling across the wall behind her. ] I think it's time to admit I need a new weapon. The Porter recently took the one I've relied upon for years, and this [ She brings her hand up, holding a large knife. ] has proven a feeble replacement. I'd prefer something with more weight and reach, something that can actually deal damage. Motorized, if possible.

So, I'm open to suggestions. If you craft any yourself, sell me on your product. I'm willing to learn something new, but no firearms. They don't agree with my style.

Comments

[shutterbugged]

I have questions about how a topiary can be adorable but those can wait.

Again: chainsaws?!
Again: PREMEDITATED CHAINSAWS

Kanaya what the hell

[glowsferatu]

peter you need to calm down
you also need to understand that when you have unrepentant murderers blasting a rampage through the small group comprising the last of your species in an enclosed space
decisive action must be taken
especially when their victims have already included both yourself and your unhatched daughter

or have i never told you that story

[shutterbugged]

[ Long, long pause. ]

I think I would have remembered that one

[glowsferatu]

well it happened
and i had to live with the perpetrators surviving in the city for years

so give me a little credit i dont go killing anyone without even a modicum of consideration or restraint
but sometimes situations develop that demand heavier handling than i can do barehanded
id only used it sparingly in the last two years
perhaps she thought i was taking it for granted

[shutterbugged]

Kanaya, I'm
I'm sorry.

How did I not know about any of this?

[glowsferatu]

it isnt your fault
ive never been the best at sharing

[ Unless she wants to use it in an argument, like that isn't emotionally manipulative in any way. ]

[shutterbugged]

Look, I'm not going to pretend I can understand what you're going through. I may be in the wrong universe, but at least I'm on a planet of my own species.

But it's not always a choice between kill or be killed.

I mean, not to toot my own horn, but you are talking to an inventor who specializes in non-lethal restraint technology. And field-tests it extensively. You know I'd do everything to help you.

[glowsferatu]

of course it isnt always kill or be killed
but it isnt never that either

and i appreciate the offer but i already have plenty of means for normal and non-lethal situations
those are the ones i face most often
but this was neither

[shutterbugged]

That's the point of getting you better equipment, Kanaya
Then it might not have BEEN neither

[glowsferatu]

and whats going to do that peter
when you have a nine foot monster trying to kill you and others
what kind of non-lethal equipment is going to suddenly change their mind