013 ♍ VIDEO

[glowsferatu]

[ Kanaya turns on the camera, glancing at a distant point to the side, wearing a great scowl. ]

Have you ever had those days when you've had to empty out your savings to relocate friends whose lives are in active danger?

Well, happy birthday to me.

[ She finally looks at the camera directly, as Ashiah can be seen bumbling across the wall behind her. ] I think it's time to admit I need a new weapon. The Porter recently took the one I've relied upon for years, and this [ She brings her hand up, holding a large knife. ] has proven a feeble replacement. I'd prefer something with more weight and reach, something that can actually deal damage. Motorized, if possible.

So, I'm open to suggestions. If you craft any yourself, sell me on your product. I'm willing to learn something new, but no firearms. They don't agree with my style.

Comments

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[dendarii]

[ Miles' eyes widen as he recognizes the screen name. Sorry, Kanaya, he's interested in something entirely different. ]

You're the tailor, right?

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[glowsferatu]

[ She takes a breath to collect herself, trying to reorient her mood to act more professionally. ]

Seamstress, tailor, designer. That would be me.

Even attempted avenging vampire, on occasion.

voice; thanks, julian

[exceptfebruary]

You are not a Taurus.

voice;

[glowsferatu]

Which is why I don't make a habit of goring people with my horns. What's your point?

text

[superposition]

What kind of weapon did you use before?

[Motorized, heavy, has reach... that sounds like either a vibrosword or a chainsaw. In either case it would be a lie to say he is not a little concerned here.]

text

[glowsferatu]

[ She could deal with a vibrosword, though it may call for more skill than she's used to. You can't just hit things and watch them collapse under your blade, how sad. ]

a chainsaw
but most of the ones ive found here are too small and fragile to compare
plus mine had the additional benefit of being highly portable

text, private; ID is Spider-Man

[shutterbugged]

Wait, lives are in danger what? What's going on?!

text, private;

[glowsferatu]

its handled
everythings already been sorted and the danger has been neutralized

[aggressiveapathy]

What did she take now?

[glowsferatu]

My chainsaw.

[ Said with all the dignity of a toddler who broke her toys. ]

video (though she's likely in the room next door)

[23wishes]

It's your birthday?!

private text from almost certainly the room next door

[ichoosefight]

I'm making a surprise birthday cake run, you in?

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[dumbfound]

Uh...

[ There's a lot about active danger and weapons here that he doesn't even begin to know how to reply to, so he decides to focus on the wrong thing and misunderstand comments here... as is his way. ]

Happy birthday, noona?

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[glowsferatu]

[ She doesn't know enough Korean to really get what "noona" means, she only spent a couple days in Seoul during the diplomacy mission. Is it a weird new nickname? Her name isn't Kanoona, Junseo. ]

Good job, me! Not being as dead as I could.

[video]

[protects_the_small]

I know a swordsmith and I'm replacing my polearm if you would like lessons.

[video]

[glowsferatu]

A polearm has a blade at the end of a staff, doesn't it? I suppose that certainly provides reach, though it's a bit outside what I'm used to.

Voice;

[lastnerv]

Uh, happy Birthday, Kanaya.

[Yeah, he can't pretend to not be concerned here.]

Do I want to know what happened?

Voice;

[glowsferatu]

Werewolf on vampire violence. Nothing to worry over anymore, it's settled.

[ And that's all she has to say about that. ]

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[khajidont]

Can't help you with the whole weapon thing, but... did you need any help with the other thing? Usually relocation is a job for the cops.

Oh. And, uh, happy birthday. Sorry it's been a crappy one.

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[glowsferatu]

I think I've told you before why I can't trust the authorities in vampiric matters. [ That was Jaime, wasn't it? She thinks it was Jaime, her brain was pretty busy that week. ] But to just do it myself, that way I can be sure there's no trail left. If they don't ave anything else to do with us, they may finally be safe.

The birthday itself hasn't been crappy, as such. It's just been colored negatively by a dreadful week.

[ Video ]

[dualismum]

What happened? Are you alright?

And, er- happy birthday? [ though it doesn't seem like she is having a good day ]

[ Video ]

[glowsferatu]

I'm alright, Sassan, my life was never the one at risk. [ Aside from being the one to fight the big ugly werewolf, of course. That could have gone worse. Of course, it could have gone much better, as well. ]

It's settled now, and that's what matters. But I appreciate your concern.

[Voice] [Private]

[thegriffinofdeath]

[Hm.]

How are you feeling?

[Voice] [Private]

[glowsferatu]

About as alive as I ever do. I told you, it wasn't something to worry about.

[ Now, how does she appropriately broach the subject of "so what are you anyway?" ]

I don't think I ever caught your name.

[causidicus]

[ She won't talk about the cute wormy slug thing, because she can't deal with that. ]

Do we really need weapons here?

[glowsferatu]

[ Some things are just too existentially overwhelming to acknowledge, no matter how cute they are. ]

We don't, necessarily, many of us could probably get by without them. I'm not quite one of those people, I keep finding myself in scenarios that would proceed more easily if I were better armed.

[text] ID reads 'Mewtwo'

[thelimitdoesnotexist]

happy birthday then.

what do you mean relocate?

text.

[glowsferatu]

thanks

suffice to say it turns out that living in heropa was a bad idea for my friends
so i moved the ones who are still alive as far away as i could get them

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[notyourfathersosborn]

Kanaya are you all right? What happened?

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[glowsferatu]

[ She lets out a sigh before she answers. ]

Did you ever hear of the natives turned to vampires in Heropa a few months back? The ones I've been looking after?

[acclimatized]

The Porter took your chainsaw? Why?

And, uh, Many Happy Returns.

[glowsferatu]

Thank, John.

And it was nothing too out of the ordinary, just a power rearrangement. I've had one before, but it was over four and a half years ago.

video;

[givetheslip]

I've always preferred a sword, but it may not suit your needs more than your dagger. Why motorized?

video;

[glowsferatu]

Well, a sword would at least be bigger. If it's sharp enough, I might even be able to lob something off!

But I still prefer a chainsaw's superior cutting ability. That's why I prefer motorized blades.

[darwinatrix]

What kind of danger?

[glowsferatu]

[ She cocks a brow. ]

The sort I couldn't trust RISE to assist with, given the treatment your lieutenant has shown the victims in the past.

[kickingand]

Motorized, huh? Sounds like you're trying to replace the irreplaceable.

[glowsferatu]

You aren't wrong. My chainsaw had many qualities that aren't likely to be imitated or duplicated. I suppose that's why I'm open to learning new options.

I can't have what I had before.

/rolls in late

[attainment]

Best wishes to you. [Dryly, he adds:] It sounds like you could use it.

Unfortunately, I don't have the expertise to help you acquire the kind of weapon you're looking for. Aside from that, are you or your friends in need of any assistance?

replies late, sorry!

[glowsferatu]

The survivors are safe now, at least. And far away from Heropa. I think it might be best for them to have a little less imPort influence in their lives going forward.

We haven't really done much of anything good for them.

[ Sure, she may have helped them survive over the last year, but that was only in reaction to things other imPorts have done. ]