maskormenace | Entry #004

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Entry #004 | Video

[ Here is Gansey, looking a little strange. He’s wearing a navy-blue sweater emblazoned with a raven – an Aglionby school sweater, over what appears to be ordinary clothes. His shoulders and hair are damp, like he’s been rained on, and he looks strangely pale. Despite that, he’s displaying a welcoming smile, and his hazel eyes are bright and vital with some emotion he’s holding back. ]

Apparently, I vanished yesterday.

I say apparently because it feels more like several weeks ago, but according to this – [ he holds up one of De Chima’s daily newspapers – a tabloid, headlined with speculation about the upcoming import elections ] – it’s only been a day.

A lot can happen in a day. Sometimes things that give you perspective.

Can I ask – the school year is almost over. Some of you will be graduating. I will. Which is odd, because I was here for eight months, and then I went home and it was Fall again, and Senior year was just beginning. I’m not completely sure what age I am now. I turned eighteen a couple of months ago.

[ Which, he actually never mentioned. It had seemed like there were more important things to be getting along with, and the thought of getting older in the wrong world had annoyed Gansey anyway. He’d kept quiet. Now, if he could do that over again, he thinks he’d celebrate it more – even though he’s only mentioning it now because it’s relevant to this. ]

Then I go home, and I’m seventeen again, so now I don’t even know what counts. Graduation will, though, I know that much.

So: to everyone else who’s graduating. Or even if you’re not, even if it’s just that you see change coming for you. What are your plans? Will you work, will you travel? What would you like to do, ideally? I think I’m ready for it to be summer again.

Private to: Billy Kaplan, Adam Parrish, Ronan Lynch, Noah Czerny, Matthew Lynch

[ This part goes to everyone’s private inboxes. Gansey’s smile is less presidential here, but his eyes are even sharper. He seems energized, like he’s on the edge of something. His voice is trying not to sound like it. ]

Hey, everyone. I very much hope I didn’t worry you. I think I was mid-conversation with you, Billy. I’ll have to blame my rudeness on the Porter.

Listen, I’m on my way home. Could someone bring the car and pick me up? I’m getting pizza from that Italian place near the porter in De Chima. I’m absolutely famished.

I’d…like to know if anyone else vanished, too. Ronan, Adam?

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[ Gansey's smile is very slight, but knowing. That's exactly why he'd told this part; it's not a spoiler for the future when it's happening in the present.

The rest might take him a while. ]

It seems not. I think you and Ronan are here to stay.

Good news?

[ His ears are burning a little. ]

Yeah.

[ He didn't know if he had it in him to be this way back home. But Gansey's confirmation settles something inside of him. ]

We kind of fought. [ He delivers it with something of a smile. As if he knows it's ridiculous. As if he knows Gansey will figure it out anyway. ] But we'll be okay now.

[ Gansey frowns at that. It’s only been a day, and they’d been solid enough before he’d gone. They’d also been solid enough in his own world; Gansey had fought with Ronan more than either of them had fought with each other.

Except for when they’d had no choice. He won’t think about that. ]

What happened?

Tell me it wasn’t because of me, Parrish, please.

We were just stressed.

[ Ronan was furious, Adam was detached. That's how these things go. ] It wasn't your fault. We'll be fine. [ He has to believe that. They're together back home, they can't break up now. ] I just thought I'd warn you. [ Because Ronan. ]

It was really weeks?

[ This is the first time that's happened to them and he's a little fascinated by the mechanics of it. ] Weeks in twenty four hours?

Yeah.

[ Gansey gives him an uncertain little smile. Maybe he can pass off his tension as worry over that time lapse. He doubts it, though.

Half an hour ago I was dead, you were possessed, and Ronan was dying. ]

I don’t suppose it makes a difference to the Porter. There hasn’t been anyone else from our world, though? Blue or Henry?

Cheng?

[ He frowns a little, clearly confused as to what their classmate has to do with anything. ] No. I'm sorry. [ He knows Gansey misses Blue. He hates that she isn't here. She should be, because she is as much a part of them as they are of her. ]

She could still turn up though.

Yes, he was with us –

[ Says Gansey, with some impatience, because he had very recently had a whole extended debate with his friends over Henry Cheng’s presence –

But then he remembers that that was not this Adam, and he closes his mouth. ]

He’s…it’s a long story. I hope she does. I feel somewhat less guilty about saying that now.

I really can’t wait to get back, Adam. Did you happen to feed my birds at all?

[ He keeps his own reaction under wraps. Gansey's clearly been through something and Adam doesn't really have it in him to start demanding explanations while his friend is still recovering. As for knowing that Cheng is somehow involved, well.

It's best if he ignores. ]

No Gansey, I let them starve.

[ Of course he fed the birds. ] But you can check up on them when you're back. They don't like me much. [ He is the Cat Dad and therefore, suspect. ]

[ Gansey lets out a breath. ]

They don't like anyone. What else can you expect from Kavinsky-birds?

[ But he says it fondly, because they're his, and he can't believe he forgot about them. Or anything else about this place.

God, soon he'll be back at the Meadows and he'll remember what it was like to live here, and he'll keep feeling more alive than he has in months.

He will not think of the other side of it. He will not think of oblivion. ]

Why do you keep them?

[ Because to Adam they're obnoxious. It's a rhetorical question anyway, he knows why. Gansey will adopt anything that's less than charming, just look at his angry collection of friends. ]

Anyway, now I don't have to look after them, right? You'll be returning to duty. [ He much prefers the cats. Then, like imparting a great truth. ] Copernicus kept trying to follow me and I had to shut him in the kitchen to avoid an all-out war.

[ Gansey shrugs. It had never occurred to him not to, honestly. ]

It's not their fault where they came from.

[ That said, they'd probably have pecked his hands apart if they hadn't been fed in a day. He's glad dam remembered. ]

Copernicus should know full well he's not allowed to eat them. We've had that argument before.

[ Of course that's Gansey's answer.

Of fucking course. ]

If you shake the dry food at him it usually distracts him long enough for you to make your escape. [ He has learnt. At least Charlotte doesn't care much for outside, and therefore, the birds. Then, a pause. ] Listen, I'll see you when you get home, all right? We can talk properly.

[ Gansey smiles a little. He knows he's interrupting Adam at work. ]

Okay, I'll see you there. Lynch is on his way to get me, anyway.

Text me, okay. Let me know you got back.

[ So he can be sure of it when he heads home. ]

[ Gansey agrees, and signs off to let Adam work.

A while later, after Ronan has brought him home and he's alone again, he texts Adam. ]

Back now. No rush though

[ Adam doesn't reply.

Mostly because he's working and then when that's done, he doesn't want to waste time in getting back. It might have been better had he a better bicycle than the pile of shit he sometimes uses, but he hadn't want to call and make someone pick him up. Not when everyone had been so shaken by Gansey's short disappearance.

He makes it back though, a little tired and a little sweaty, leaving the rust bucket by the door to find his way inside. Gansey's in his room, not room, whatever it is, looking over something on his phone when Adam finds him. Decorum and history would suggest they should bump fists, but he circumvents all that by hugging Gansey the second he turns around. It's short and abrupt, but no real for it.

( Because Adam couldn't help but think about the slip of paper in Fox Way, the name printed on it. He couldn't help but think about how he wasn't there. )

He comes to his senses though, taking a step back, heat flaring into his face. ] Hey.

[ He's trying to catch up.

In a day, he'd lived a week, and died and lived again, and now he's picking up the threads of another life. Reacquainting himself. Examining the Network and letting it resettle in his mind.

He is not the same person that he was a week ago. He is literally and physically changed. He can feel it, and he finds that he has too much energy to be alone. He'd made clones for a while, just to remind himself that he still could, and then re-absorbed them because they were just as overfull with energy as him.

He doesn't want to be alone.

And then suddenly he's not. Suddenly Adam is there, and hugging him, and it's over too quickly for Gansey to really get his head around it. He doesn't really move back, though. He stays standing where he'd risen into his friend's embrace, and keeps his hand on his shoulder, and for a moment, his eyes are quite intent on Adam's.

It's like he's looking for something. He just wants to be sure. ]

Hey. [ His voice is full of relief. ] You took your time. We clearly don't have enough cars in this place.

[ Maybe he should do something about that. ]

I'm sorry for disappearing. I really am.

[ He gives a short bark of a laugh, shaking his head somewhat fondly. Because of course. Gansey's a little right though, biking is getting tiresome now they're out of the city and on the rare days that he can't rely on a ride it's like he's lost the tolerance for it. And it takes him too long to get around, meaning moments like these are delayed.

He hadn't been able to believe it, not until he could confirm that Gansey was solid and real and actually here. ]

It's not your fault. [ They both know that. People come and go. They're always losing someone to the Porter. He just never wanted it to be Gansey. He hopes it never happens again. Twenty-four hours had been far too long. Adam's eyes move fitfully over his friend's face as though trying to look for any glaring differences, anything he should be concerned with. He'd been so worried that the very thing they'd been trying to avoid would take Gansey while he was stuck here. But he definitely looks very much alive. ] You okay?

[ No scratches on his face. No marks on his wrists where they’d had to tie him, no indication that Adam’s been through what the demon had done to him. It’s the same with Ronan. Gansey had known it would be the same.

But it’s so strange to see. He’d been with them such a short time ago. And he knows it was them who had saved him. Adam’s idea. It would have to have been. He’s the only one who would’ve been able to keep his head enough to do it. ]

I’m…

[ Alive. Whole, when I thought I wouldn’t be. Christ, how can he say that? Gansey is not a person who’d ever wanted to think about his future. Especially when it held so much pain. And this last week has held a lot of pain, so much more than he wants to put on Adam’s shoulders. ]

Yes. I’m fine, it’s all right. School’s as it ever was. Oh, I almost lost all sense of myself on Raven Day and Henry Cheng saved me. He’s been around quite a bit.

[ He takes a breath. ]

I’m glad to see you.

[ His eyebrows lift a little more obviously when Gansey mentions Henry Cheng, but he makes little comment on it. His friend has always run a little wider in the Aglionby circles, and besides, Adam is too relieved right now to worry about whether or not he should be jealous. ]

I forgot Raven Day was coming.

[ It's been a while. He's forgetting more and more of where he's supposed to be in Henrietta, timeline wise. ] But that's good.

[ He has so many questions. He doesn't know where to start. ]

We were ushers.

[ On Raven Day, he means. He shifts a little, remembering it. It's a safe thing to remember. It had been at the start of all the trouble, before any of them had really known what was going on.

Before their lives had become a horror movie. Just before. ]

Do you know it was Noah's idea?

No, of course you don't, it surprised both of us. Well, it was, when he was alive. His sister was there. Gave a speech.

Strange thing.

Seriously?

[ He looks thoughtful for a long moment before his mouth twitches slightly upwards. ] Makes sense. Mayhem would have definitely been Noah's bag.

[ From what Adam knows of him anyway. ]

Did he get to see it?

[ Gansey's well-maintained smile falters a little at that. ]

No. He hasn't been around that much. Things have been changing quite rapidly.

[ Gansey has taken Henry's Aglionby sweater off by now, and folded it on top of his bed. In fact, he's changed all his clothes, and showered. It feels better to get the remnants of that night away from him. ]

It's only been around a week since Malory left. I can tell you, it doesn't feel like it.

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