video

[aglonby]

[ the feed comes on to show a boy with very tall hair and a much shorter girl with scratches on her face over her eye, one looking rather cheerful and the other less so. ]

Hi hi hi everyone, I have an important question. [ he holds up a finger, tilts his head as if a thought had just occurred to him. he's so preoccupied he was going to launch himself into his spiel without even introducing himself. ] I'm being rude. I am Henry Cheng, and we were wondering —

[ the not so tall and in fact very short girl interrupts. ] We're looking for someone we know! [ she pulls a little face, looking over at Mr. Henry Cheng. ] A few people, actually. [ okay, maybe that was a little rude. she murmurs something unintelligible and takes a step back. please, proceed. ]

And that was my lovely friend Blue. [ he gestures with a flourish toward her, shoots her a wink, absolutely unbothered by the interruption or her outburst. ] As she said, we are looking for someone. Multiple someones. I'm sure this place has a list of sorts, yes? A quick way to CTRL-F a friend's name and find out their status?

[ he looks a bit more serious, then, like underneath the cheerfulness he's exhausted. his next words are very earnest. ]

We would appreciate any info. Thank you.

[ in the background, Blue begins tromping away, shedding dead leaves for some reason, and can be vaguely heard to say 'maybe we should've mentioned Gansey by name' before the video ends. ]

Comments

[oceiteres]

[ That seems fake, but okay. ] Obviously he's okay now.

[brushoff]

Obviously. This happened...mmm, a few months ago.

[oceiteres]

Great. [ Just great. ] Is that what you call inconvenient? People nearly getting killed?

[brushoff]

What? Of course not. Someone almost dying is horrible, obviously. [ especially because if Ronan died, how would Dorian figure out what his deal is? ]

[oceiteres]

Does it happen often? [ Dorian, there's a good chance you will never know. ]

[brushoff]

In this place? It happens more often than you'd want.

[oceiteres]

Even one time would be too much for me. [ She needs to go and turn into a human-shaped solar panel now. ]

[brushoff]

I'm afraid you'll have to get used to this then. [ said with a little shrug. Sorry Blue. ]

[oceiteres]

[ Her expression says, 'peachy.' Her mouth says, ] I'm usually pretty bad at taking things sitting down.

[brushoff]

Which is admirable in some cases but less so in others. Do you plan to find everyone here and browbeat them into less trouble?

[oceiteres]

I don't know. [ She said, defiantly. ] Maybe a few, at least.

[brushoff]

Best of luck—you'll definitely need it.

[oceiteres]

Why do you say that? [ The frequency? The targets? ]

[brushoff]

This place is a little ridiculous when it comes to murder and other nonsense.

[oceiteres]

"Other nonsense."

[ Other nonsense. ]

[brushoff]

Well, what can you describe sentient toilets and the literal Apocalypse as!

[ other nonsense. ]

[oceiteres]

[ Get. Her. Out of. Here. ]

Sentient toilets. [ See icon for "Blue Sargent looks into camera" face. ]

[brushoff]

That's all Billy Kaplan's fault, by the way. [ Dorian's face is pure "yeah I KNOW that's stupid" ]

[oceiteres]

[ Blue's heard of some weirdness, but... ] How does something like that even happen?

[brushoff]

Ridiculous magic bullshit, I'm afraid.

[oceiteres]

On accident? [ She is asking because "creating sentient toilets on purpose" sounds like a threshold of weirdness she really, really hopes to never cross? ]

[brushoff]

The toilets, yes. Some other incidents, no. [ cough Peter Pan and Satan cough ]

[oceiteres]

[ Ugh, please don't say those words aloud. Peter Pan and Satan. What is happening... ] Not by the same person who made the toilets, I hope.

[brushoff]

Thankfully, no. The person who made the toilets, Billy Kaplan, only has one major fuck-up so far. [ just you wait, Dorian. ] Satan's the one who almost caused the Apocalypse.

[ SORRY BLUE........ ]

[oceiteres]

[ Just you wait, Dorian. ]

Satan. Of course. Because who else would cause the apocalypse? [ Ha. Ha ha.

Where does she get off this train. ]