ｊｏｓｅｐｈ ｋａｖｉｎｓｋｙ (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
pillz) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
maskormenace2016-06-10 06:49 pm
pillz) wrote in maskormenace2016-06-10 06:49 pm
O3 👶 VIDEO (road not taken)
[the teenager in the video is wearing a green beanie. it must be new because there's still a price tag poking out behind his left ear. he beams at the camera with the slightly choreographed but earnest good nature of a closet introvert on his first day of school.
his eyes are slightly small, a telltale sign for those who fraternitize with potheads.]
Hi! I'm Joe. I guess I must have like, retrograde amnesia or something because I found this folder of brochures and stuff about a Porter and superheroes and nanomachines and whatever but I don't remember any of it from before? Anyway I just have a couple questions.
Number one. My neighbor is eleven and he told me their classroom pet just died, and I told the school I'm going to get them new ones. Then I started to think about, you know, the ethics of making animals that don't need to eat or poo. I mean, I'm not super religious, Darwinism seems kinda accurate, and even though I'm a vegan but I get that cows were just way too small for the industry before we had breeds. Mankind has been messing around with genetics for a long time. But it seems like a slippery slope, right? When does messing with life itself turn into like-- the crippling hubris that comes with the presumption of human convenience? Will Mother Nature fight back? Does the balance correct itself? You know? And is it important for eleven-year-olds to learn about cleaning poop? And if someone like, hypothetically... [he pauses with the subtlety of a bsod.] got a bird that doesn't eat or poopoo, and they decided it was unethical to give it to fifth graders, what should he do with it? And before anyone asks, it has a butthole and a mouth hole.
Okay. [he sucks in air as if he'd started to run out partway through that ramble (probably).] Okay. My other question is, does anyone else want to do a juice cleanse? Because I guess I was doing some kind of messed up diet. I lost twenty pounds and had like three hundred pills in my cabinet, but I feel super bloated and gross. Right now, I'm seriously even willing to consider wheatgrass or cod oil even though I usually can't stand the taste of fishy burps. And, you know, vegan. I could use a diet buddy. Or a group. I'm into groups. But not yoga or weights or meditation.
Hiking, I love hiking. And four-wheeling. If anyone sees an olive colored ATV with a 1984 sticker around, that's mine.
Okay get back to me. Later! [he waves enthusiastically at the camera, then hangs up.]
his eyes are slightly small, a telltale sign for those who fraternitize with potheads.]
Hi! I'm Joe. I guess I must have like, retrograde amnesia or something because I found this folder of brochures and stuff about a Porter and superheroes and nanomachines and whatever but I don't remember any of it from before? Anyway I just have a couple questions.
Number one. My neighbor is eleven and he told me their classroom pet just died, and I told the school I'm going to get them new ones. Then I started to think about, you know, the ethics of making animals that don't need to eat or poo. I mean, I'm not super religious, Darwinism seems kinda accurate, and even though I'm a vegan but I get that cows were just way too small for the industry before we had breeds. Mankind has been messing around with genetics for a long time. But it seems like a slippery slope, right? When does messing with life itself turn into like-- the crippling hubris that comes with the presumption of human convenience? Will Mother Nature fight back? Does the balance correct itself? You know? And is it important for eleven-year-olds to learn about cleaning poop? And if someone like, hypothetically... [he pauses with the subtlety of a bsod.] got a bird that doesn't eat or poopoo, and they decided it was unethical to give it to fifth graders, what should he do with it? And before anyone asks, it has a butthole and a mouth hole.
Okay. [he sucks in air as if he'd started to run out partway through that ramble (probably).] Okay. My other question is, does anyone else want to do a juice cleanse? Because I guess I was doing some kind of messed up diet. I lost twenty pounds and had like three hundred pills in my cabinet, but I feel super bloated and gross. Right now, I'm seriously even willing to consider wheatgrass or cod oil even though I usually can't stand the taste of fishy burps. And, you know, vegan. I could use a diet buddy. Or a group. I'm into groups. But not yoga or weights or meditation.
Hiking, I love hiking. And four-wheeling. If anyone sees an olive colored ATV with a 1984 sticker around, that's mine.
Okay get back to me. Later! [he waves enthusiastically at the camera, then hangs up.]
no subject
What. [ She just felt the cold embrace of death approaching. For her or someone else, she's not sure. Is this purgatory? ]
no subject
you know that right, blue.]
What what, [kavinsky asks, coherently.] I'm sorry, look, it's not that weird, but come on, I'm pretty sure we can both agree that like ninety-five percent of teas in Virginia are dried flowers. Or shoots and leaves. Haha panda joke, [he giggles inanely for an instant, then sobers up.] But not fungus. I mean fine I'll apologize to her or whatever. Are you okay?
Are we okay?
no subject
What do you mean, "are we okay?" [ Did he just giggle? Is she being Punk'd. ] Don't talk about her.
no subject
Ummm.
[he lifts an articulate eyebrow.]
You're like my best friend. And 'like' isn't like, equivocating. [a beat.] Are you telling me to not talk about Persephone?
no subject
Don't say her name. [ She's being Punk'd. That's it. ] I refuse to believe we became friends while you were here. Someone would've told me. [ If they did, it was clearly pod Blue. From the planet pod. Where there are pod people. ]
no subject
Look, if you don't want me to talk about Auntie P, I won't. But--
[he's getting visibly upset. it's a weird look for kavinsky's creepy bony psycho face, which normally just looks either manic or soulless. he reaches up to rub his forehead and his hat.] —look. I need my best friend right now, [he hisses with urgency.] Ronan Lynch is texting me.
no subject
What? [ Literally, what in the name of all that's good and sane in this world. At least there's some bizarro world context for this now, but that doesn't help her formulate questions. How? Why?
When? What? ]
I bet he is. [ She does not sound that skeptical. Because while Ronan hates his phone, he surely saw this and is thinking the same thing as Blue: what in the name of... but with more cursing. ] Wait, why are you telling me this?
private;
[a fleeting pause, and kavinsky fiddles the conversation over to private.]
You really don't remember anything? I mean seriously. I mean I know it's been Adam o' clock for a month at this point but I got a word in edgewise like twice.
private;
If you tell me you're dating Adam, I'm hanging up. [ Does this make sense in context of what he said? No. Is she in the right frame of mind to understand this? No. Is the world flat? No.
That last one's not related. ]
no subject
I'm not dating Adam. You were.
no subject
Okay. [ The word gets drawn out a bit. ] What does that have to do with Ronan? [ Is this starting to feel normal... ]
no subject
it's like blue has never had a best friend to gossip about cute boys with, what on earth.] I mean not nothing. I mean, it's my turn. Come on, Sargent! You know how this works.
no subject
Explain it to me in very small words. [ Holy mother of a tree. ]