video; open to action for Hotel Castile residents

[wizzardly]

This - !

[is an angry wizard, actually, in a lovely little hotel room. A wizard who is only on his second glass of wine. But he seems to be referencing the movie he's waving angrily at his communicator.

It's "The Wizard of Oz".]

- This is terrible! An absolute mockery, is what it is! I've had so many people bringing this up, and I think to watch it for myself, and I find - I find - right, so, the wizard is a fake. Let's address that first of all, shall we? They all go on this big quest to get to the wizard, and he's fake, but how did the people not realize that in the first place, that's what I want to know.

He doesn't even have a pointy hat.

[Rincewind waves a hand.]

It's all a bad message, is what it is! Making wizards look bad! And look, the whole thing about witches being green - I mean honestly, witches are scary enough on their own without all that. That's obviously added. And the flying monkeys -

[he shudders. Never mind, not addressing those. Those were terrifying.]

But I've certainly never heard anything about them melting with a bit of water. Even trained hydrophobes don't do that. Bloody ridiculous.

The whole thing is ridiculous, is what I'm really getting at. We're supposed to believe a scarecrow which can talk and walk about is brainless? Or what about it trying to get everyone to buy that the strange man with ribbons in his hair is "a lion"? And ignoring that whole bit about how this Dorothy person could have just clicked her heels the whole time, enchanted shoes aren't what they're cracked up to be in the first place, the University can tell you. Half of her would have probably been teleported back to Kansas faster than the other half, and that would have certainly been a bloody mess. Very gruesome.

Anyway, it was hideous and I don't understand why so many of you reference it in the first place.

[two thumbs down, says newly self-appointed movie critic Rincewind; only one and a half poorly-sequined stars.]

Comments

[slightlyoffchilt]

His anti-crime message? I suppose that would resonate with you.

[Made sense. Rincewind didn't like violence or lethal conflict, and those outcomes were made more possible with criminal activity.]

I'm happy your efforts won out in the end, regardless of the minimal stature you claim they possessed.

[wizzardly]

...Oh, yes. Anti-crime. That's it.

[Anti-crime, Rincewind thinks incredulously. Oh yes, in the sense that he doesn't want criminals edging in on his own business efforts. The slimy, tart bastard...]

Because you get your hospital?

[slightlyoffchilt]

[A long beat.]

Not the only reason.

[A probable lie.]

[wizzardly]

Right.

[the part of Rincewind will be performed tonight by Sir Not-Believing-You.]

Apparently he's going to keep campaigning for things. [people with ambition are so exhausting, tbh.]

[slightlyoffchilt]

I'm not too surprised. Baelish is something of a born politician -- and he seems willing to take you with him on his rise.

There are worse fates, I imagine.

[wizzardly]

That is rather the cornerstone of nobility. [blandly noted.] Being literally born into politics.

Oh, but I'm sure at some point he'll have to turn elsewhere for assistance. To someone better suited. A mountain goat, maybe. For all that climbing he's intent on.

[a joke, of course.

...Maybe.]

[slightlyoffchilt]

... I thought you two were done with locking horns?

[Two can play.]

[wizzardly]

We are, we are. It's only that he sees some... potential in me that I don't see in myself.

You know me, I'm quite content with shelving at the library. Happy in my pasture, no need to go looking for greener ones. So you could say we're a bit at odds there.

[slightlyoffchilt]

You, an immovable force. He, an unstoppable force. Should be interesting at least?

[The lightness in his tone suggest he's trying for levity, anyway.]

[wizzardly]

I suppose it depends on the audience.

Anyway. ...Any word on when you're actually moving?

[slightlyoffchilt]

The proposition of land use is currently under scrutiny by the Maurtia Falls city counsel, but given that Ambassador Baelish wholeheartedly supports the idea, I do not foresee massive infrastructure issues.

September, at the earliest. Could take longer, of course.

[wizzardly]

Well - [he takes a breath, tries a smile] - we'll have to have some sort of celebration when you do. To congratulate you.

[see? He's trying.]

[slightlyoffchilt]

Oh? [Immediately ENTHRALLED BY THE IDEA.] What were you thinking? Is it a surprise, should I be inquiring?

[wizzardly]

[oh shit, that's a lot of enthusiasm. Rincewind immediately scrambles into a con artist's grin.]

Well I'm certainly not going to ruin the fun of it by letting you know. But you've - put in so much work getting this far, I think you're safe in assuming there'll be something to look forward to.

[now he just has to figure ou what that will be.]

[slightlyoffchilt]

[Chilton's own boyish grin is perhaps the precise foil to Rincewind's conman smile.]

I am so excited.

[wizzardly]

Lovely. Well. I should leave you to your work.

[oh gods, oh gods, now he actually has to plan a part.]

I'll see you this Friday. Until then?

[slightlyoffchilt]

Friday! For the party in my honor? Or -- oh. Sessional work, right.

Of course.

[wizzardly]

We've got 'til September, after all. No need to rush things.

[hopefully it won't get Chilton's hopes up with thoughts of surprise parties when Rincewind doesn't show for his session.

The Porter can be such a tease.]

[slightlyoffchilt]

Oh my goodness, of course! You need to book a venue. How impatient of me.