maskormenace | video; open to action for Hotel Castile residents

This - !

[is an angry wizard, actually, in a lovely little hotel room. A wizard who is only on his second glass of wine. But he seems to be referencing the movie he's waving angrily at his communicator.

It's "The Wizard of Oz".]

- This is terrible! An absolute mockery, is what it is! I've had so many people bringing this up, and I think to watch it for myself, and I find - I find - right, so, the wizard is a fake. Let's address that first of all, shall we? They all go on this big quest to get to the wizard, and he's fake, but how did the people not realize that in the first place, that's what I want to know.

He doesn't even have a pointy hat.

[Rincewind waves a hand.]

It's all a bad message, is what it is! Making wizards look bad! And look, the whole thing about witches being green - I mean honestly, witches are scary enough on their own without all that. That's obviously added. And the flying monkeys -

[he shudders. Never mind, not addressing those. Those were terrifying.]

But I've certainly never heard anything about them melting with a bit of water. Even trained hydrophobes don't do that. Bloody ridiculous.

The whole thing is ridiculous, is what I'm really getting at. We're supposed to believe a scarecrow which can talk and walk about is brainless? Or what about it trying to get everyone to buy that the strange man with ribbons in his hair is "a lion"? And ignoring that whole bit about how this Dorothy person could have just clicked her heels the whole time, enchanted shoes aren't what they're cracked up to be in the first place, the University can tell you. Half of her would have probably been teleported back to Kansas faster than the other half, and that would have certainly been a bloody mess. Very gruesome.

Anyway, it was hideous and I don't understand why so many of you reference it in the first place.

[two thumbs down, says newly self-appointed movie critic Rincewind; only one and a half poorly-sequined stars.]

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Oh, bugger off with that. [sharply.]

You just tripped and fell into the knife, did you? For months? Just the innocent organ donor with no interest in what happened to the organs he donated?

I mean, come on. At least do me the courtesy of coming up with a better excuse, Dorian, it's damned insulting.

Oh, I had plenty of interest as to where they went. I don't know if you know this, Rincewind, but I can't stand that egomaniac Chilton. [ battle of the narcissists between those two. ]

Besides, apparently those sorts of gift baskets were a daily occurrence back in their Baltimore!

And this is what you do to people who annoy you, is it? You terrorize them?

Nothing about their sort being used to it makes that all right!

This was a joint effort between Will and I! I don't terrorize people who annoy me because, surprise surprise, half the population here annoys me!

Chilton deserved to be knocked off his high horse, after all.

It was cruel, Dorian. Crueler on Will's part, but - [Rincewind deflates.]

That was a terrible thing to do to him. I like him, you know. He's been nothing but good to me. I know people find him difficult to get on with sometimes, but they think the same of you too. I'd be just as upset if someone had done this to you.

[ Dorian just shoots the camera a look of pure "yeah RIGHT." He honestly doesn't believe that Rincewind would be upset if someone was messing with him like he messed with Chilton. ]

Of course it was cruel. That's the entire point of it.

[Rincewind sends the video an ugly, angry look.]

I don't understand it. You've got all this time - lifetimes upon lifetimes - and you waste it on this. On being petty and cruel. Because someone annoyed you.

Bloody worthless, is what it is. I hope you're satisfied. I really do.

Edited 2016-08-17 02:02 (UTC)

[ Yes but have you considered that being petty and cruel is fun. There's a pause and a shrug before Dorian continues....and changes the subject because no, he's not satisfied, too many people know about this thing and he never expected it to go this big. ]

I hope Will's getting the same level of vitriol as I am. After all, he was equally petty and cruel—though it's a bit worse because I never gave a damn about Chilton. He and Will were friends.

I already called him. [said with something of a sigh - you're a little obvious, Dorian.]

...I've been staying at a hotel since I found out.

Which hotel? [ said in a tone of honest curiosity over anything else. ]

The Castile. ...The owner has something of a thing for my Luggage.

But I'm not in the mood for visitors, before you get any ideas.

Oh! Don't worry, I'm not visiting. But do tell Mister March I said hello.

...Fine.

Thank you. [ have fun being a good person, Rincewind. ]

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