video; open to action for Hotel Castile residents

[wizzardly]

This - !

[is an angry wizard, actually, in a lovely little hotel room. A wizard who is only on his second glass of wine. But he seems to be referencing the movie he's waving angrily at his communicator.

It's "The Wizard of Oz".]

- This is terrible! An absolute mockery, is what it is! I've had so many people bringing this up, and I think to watch it for myself, and I find - I find - right, so, the wizard is a fake. Let's address that first of all, shall we? They all go on this big quest to get to the wizard, and he's fake, but how did the people not realize that in the first place, that's what I want to know.

He doesn't even have a pointy hat.

[Rincewind waves a hand.]

It's all a bad message, is what it is! Making wizards look bad! And look, the whole thing about witches being green - I mean honestly, witches are scary enough on their own without all that. That's obviously added. And the flying monkeys -

[he shudders. Never mind, not addressing those. Those were terrifying.]

But I've certainly never heard anything about them melting with a bit of water. Even trained hydrophobes don't do that. Bloody ridiculous.

The whole thing is ridiculous, is what I'm really getting at. We're supposed to believe a scarecrow which can talk and walk about is brainless? Or what about it trying to get everyone to buy that the strange man with ribbons in his hair is "a lion"? And ignoring that whole bit about how this Dorothy person could have just clicked her heels the whole time, enchanted shoes aren't what they're cracked up to be in the first place, the University can tell you. Half of her would have probably been teleported back to Kansas faster than the other half, and that would have certainly been a bloody mess. Very gruesome.

Anyway, it was hideous and I don't understand why so many of you reference it in the first place.

[two thumbs down, says newly self-appointed movie critic Rincewind; only one and a half poorly-sequined stars.]

Comments

[glitterateur]

Technically I'm a teenager.

[jacksonian]

Yeah, but, like...twelve, right?

[glitterateur]

Thirteen! Almost fourteen.

[jacksonian]

It still seems like a lot for someone who's fourteen.

[glitterateur]

It's not so bad. I mean once you've saved everybody from an evil chaos demon then most other stuff is like pshhhh, easy!

[jacksonian]

A chaos demon?

[glitterateur]

You know, a creepy thing with like infinite cosmic power and a super sick sense of humor.

[jacksonian]

Oh, sure, one of those. Sorry, not sure why I didn't realize what you meant right away.

[glitterateur]

It's cool! Not everybody's had to deal with one, which is a good thing.

[jacksonian]

I was being sarcastic. That's an insane thing to talk about.

[glitterateur]

Ha, yeah, we did have kind of a crazy summer!

[jacksonian]

Don't try to act cool!

[glitterateur]

It's no act.

[jacksonian]

Oh, really. Fourteen-year-olds aren't cool.

[ From his lofty position of being seventeen, thanks. ]

[glitterateur]

Then you've been talking to the wrong fourteen year olds! Or my brother.

[jacksonian]

Oh, really. So you're just the exception.

[glitterateur]

Me and my friends Candy and Grenda and Pacifica. We've got coolness down.

[jacksonian]

Hah. You know, I might actually buy that.

[glitterateur]

It's got the Mabel Pines guarantee, so you can buy it! Buy ten of it.

[jacksonian]

I don't know. I'm a CEO of a business, you know. And I only make very sound investments.

[glitterateur]

I've read a business book or two in my time [Like, one. One book.] and I can tell you, this is sound.

[jacksonian]

I'd need a full cost/benefit analysis before I agreed to it. You can submit an application to my company.

[glitterateur]

[She salutes!]

Will do! It'll have graphs and everything.

["And everything" means stickers and half of it will be filled out in gel pen. But by god she will follow procedure.]

[jacksonian]

And I'll have a response for you in seven to ten business days.