video!

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

[ Squirrel Girl is giving the camera a friendly, buck-toothed grin and a little wave. There's some kind of muffled commotion coming from behind her, but whatever it is isn't visible in the frame yet. She's in a park, though, that much is obvious. ]

Hi! I'm Squirrel Girl, nice to meet everybody. I have a question for y'all! I ran into a bit of trouble, here: some fire-breathing dingus kinda jumped me in the middle of the park and wouldn't back off, so after a brief (if slightly physical) discussion about anger management skills and not being a total jerk, I'm... well, long story short, does anybody know where I can find the nearest police station in--

[ The commotion intensifies, and SG frowns, glancing over to one side. One of those newbie native supervillains is just visible in the corner of the screen, buried underneath a pile of squirrels. He's trying in vain to shake them off, but it isn't going very well. ]

I'm kind of in the middle of something, dude, can you keep it down? Trying to find out where I can dump your butt.

[ 'Heartburn'! the guy says from underneath the squirrel-pile. 'My name is Heartburn, and I'll make you regret the day you--!'

Heartburn is interrupted by three squirrels piling onto his head, effectively pressing his jaw shut. ]

Ok, first off, I'd rethink naming yourself after indigestion symptoms, and... wait, wait, ohmygosh.

Would you call that... a sick burn?

Comments

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

Dude, I did try. There was a whole attempted conversation before I did this post, and his side of the conversation mostly involved breathing fire at me. He isn't hurt, just subdued, and I'm a good listener, but I'm not a trained therapist, y'know?

[valuemeal]

[ Well..

.. he can't really blame her if a guy breathed fire at her. Seriously. He would have cried and cowered way before that, honestly. ]

Can't we just ask the people in charge here to send those people to a professional before they do stuff like this or something? We'd be a whole lot safer.

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

I'm super new here, so I don't know if there are resources available, but counselling definitely sounds like a good idea? I mean, if I woke up with crazy powers and a bone to pick, I'd want someoto talk to.

[valuemeal]

And you'd think they could sit still enough to talk with that person reasonably?

[ He doesn't sound like he's doubting that entirely, but.. well.. at least a little bit? Just look what this guy apparently tried to do to the squirrel girl over here. His tone is more cautious than anything else. ]

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

... I think that anyone can be talked down from making bad decisions, and that deep down, everybody just wants someone to listen to them.

[valuemeal]

...

Woah. That's kind of impressive.

[ That she could say something like that out of the blue that's kind of deep.. it's oddly cool, honestly. Hyunsoo probably doesn't even realise that slipped out - he's still too stuck in the whole surprised mode. ]

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

Aw, thank you! It's just what I think, y'know? I'm glad it made sense.

[valuemeal]

Well, I just hope it's true. Because I don't really know how I'm going to deal with it if one of those guys just jumps me on the street.

[ Screaming and crying, most likely. The best solution to that problem. ]

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

If anybody tries to mess with you, shout at them. Make as big a scene as you can. They'll either be scared off, or someone will come running to help.

[valuemeal]

... no one will think I'm pathetic if I do that though, right? [ Clearly the bigger worry here. ]