video;

[brushoff]

[ Dorian's sitting down on a small, jet black armchair, tucked in the corner of an all too busy bedroom. There's a bookshelf stacked to the brim with books to the left and a medium sized oil painting hanging on the wall, a Romantic seascape with more emphasis on the clouds than the water, clouds painted in dark, stormy, gray brushstrokes. Dorian gives the camera a small nod, then starts to read from a book, in an even, measured tone, perfect for audiobooks. ]

"It was the strangest book that he had ever read. It seemed to him that in exquisite raiment, and to the delicate sound of flutes, the sins of the world were passing in dumb show before him. Things that he had dimly dreamed of were suddenly made real to him. Things of which he had never dreamed were gradually revealed." [ There's a pause, while Dorian flips the pages and continues reading. ]

"'I am so sorry, Harry,' he cried, 'but really it is entirely your fault. That book you sent me so fascinated me that I forgot how the time was going.' 'Yes, I thought you would like it,' replied his host, rising from his chair. 'I didn't say I liked it, Harry. I said it fascinated me. There is a great difference.'"

[ Dorian closes the book, as he looks to the camera. There's a hint of a melancholy tone in his voice as he continues—somebody's obviously been lost in memory. ] Words written by Oscar Wilde—today's his birthday, by the way. Wear a carnation and take some absinthe in his honor. But the words of the post aren't what I want you to think about: the content is.

Let's talk about books, network. What's your favorite book? Or perhaps your favorite author? And, if those are questions you simply can't answer, what's your favorite genre? And finally, has there ever been a book that so captivated you the way the one Oscar wrote about captivated me?

Comments

[deadtective]

If you're into low-hanging fruit, maybe. Bullying shit like that's about as much effort as kicking a three-legged dog.

[brushoff]

Oh please. Lawyers deserve to be bullied.

[deadtective]

I didn't say they didn't, just that most of the damn work's already done for you.

[brushoff]

All the better!

[deadtective]

If you never wanna improve, sure. More room for me.

[brushoff]

Alas, being stagnant and never changing is my whole schtick.

[deadtective]

And here I thought it was slowly decaying without ever noticing like a washed-up rock star.

[brushoff]

Dorian Gray, remember? That whole not aging thing applies here.

[deadtective]

Same goes for Keith Richards but that doesn't make him any fucking prettier.

[brushoff]

You obviously haven't seen Keith in the 1960s. Cocaine does a number on the face.

[deadtective]

Eh, it's no crystal meth.

[brushoff]

Points there. Coke messes up the face, meth destroys the teeth.

[deadtective]

And we both know which one's more of a pain in the ass to fix.

[brushoff]

Plastic surgery can't give you new teeth, after all.

[deadtective]

And nobody's really into becoming a master carpenter these days. Pity.

[brushoff]

[ There's a pause, before he gets it. ] Ohhh, wooden teeth. But aren't dentures porcelain these days?

[deadtective]

How the fuck should I know? I've got all my fucking teeth.

[brushoff]

I've got mine as well. And I make it a point not to associate with people who are missing enough teeth to need dentures.

[ cause that means they are OLD and GROSS ]

[deadtective]

You know you're just asking for someone to take off their teeth before they blow you, right.

[brushoff]

I'm married, remember?

[deadtective]

Little late to be swinging that around after suggesting a group orgy, don't you think?

[brushoff]

He might be okay with it.

[ just said as casually as ever, nbd ]

[deadtective]

Then it doesn't matter if there's a ring on your finger you might lose up someone's ass.

[thank you, Hazel, polite as always.]

[brushoff]

[ it's a pity she's going up against Dorian "equally no shame" Gray. ]

What sort of orgy do you go to where they start off with ass stuff? I don't trust people to have properly prepped in the first place!

[deadtective]

[it's only a pity for anyone else reading this banter tbh]

That's part of the excitement, isn't it? Maybe you'll get your ass ripped in two, maybe you won't.