[ ᴠᴏɪᴄᴇ ]

[ohshutup]

[The feed clicks on, and the voice that follows is astoundingly cheery in comparison to the subject matter.]

So. How would you go about celebrating a birthday and a deathday at the same time, without involving cake or alcohol?

[A beat.]

Asking for a friend.

Comments

video;

[helpline]

What, no, yes asking for cake!

[ and then, because Clara's going to but in with 'blah blah blah I can't eat' ]

Ask for cake so I can eat the cake. Nothing red velvet please, but I'm rather fond of carrot.

[ohshutup]

You can just get a cake yourself then, mister! A big carrot cake, with the words, "I ignore my best friend's inability to enjoy food," written in icing.

voice;

[doubleblind]

Presents? A day in cuddling? Fireworks? Finding all the best cat videos? Stop me when I pick a good one...

[ohshutup]

How about all three, in succession?

video »

[magnitudes]

Morbid two for one, Paddington. We need a better word than "deathday." Mortality liberation day. Glorious Corpsious?

[ohshutup]

That last one sounds a bit ostentatious, but I can't deny the appeal of "mortality liberation". It feels right.

video | i'm sorry

[kryo]

Have you tried a good fuck?

[ It's been days since he was sexually overt on the network and he has a reputation to uphold.

That and he's curious. ]

A deathday?

[ohshutup]

Oh, every day.

[Alright, "every day" might be an overestimation, but her point has been made. She is well attended to.]

And it's the anniversary of my death. Er, my eventual death. A bit timey-wimey. I don't supoose you've met the Doctor?

video;

[doubleblind]

[Cosima waves.]

Hello. Girlfriend here. I've got that covered.

video;

[fayzedandconfused]

I know you said no cake, but hear me out.

[ohshutup]

Does it start with getting cakes for everyone else I know?

voice; comm ID "Spider-Man" because Peter's been too lazy to change it

[shutterbugged]

I love cake and try to ignore my deathdays, so I dunno if I can help you out there.

[ Did he say deathdays, plural? ]

[ohshutup]

I can't eat, and this is my first one.

[A beat.]

Excuse me - deathdays? Plural?

Voice;

[exceptfebruary]

A birthday is often celebrated with a party. A death anniversary is often marked with a memorial or meal. Either way, a gathering of friends and family. Open presents. Wear black.

[ohshutup]

Maybe I should combine them into one. A memorial birth-death meal, black veils and presents optional.

Video

[helladoomed]

...We're celebrating death days now?

[ohshutup]

More of a commemoration. A celebration of your life. Or, as some of my students may have said, "Treat yo' self."

Video

[pummelgranite]

[ Celebrating a deathday tickles Persephone. No, she wouldn't be ready to do it for anyone in her circle. But the idea that someone can take their death with irreverence is . . . nice. Keeping out alcohol seems like defeating the whole purpose of a party, but she'll make the best suggestion she can anyway. ]


Karaoke.

[ohshutup]

I'm a dreadful singer, but I guess it might be fun to watch my loved ones embarrass themselves.

[She has priorities.]

voice

[defriendzone]

"Deathday". Is that really what it sounds like?

[ohshutup]

Well, it's certainly not my wedding anniversary.

voice;

[reek]

You don't.

[ Well, that was easy. ]

[ohshutup]

You're a cheerful one. Got something against celebrations?

[Maybe it's religious...]

video

[jacksonian]

[ That's the most insane thing he's ever heard, but, well - ]

I know a professional event planning firm that can help you.

[ And that will pay him a kickback for pointing business their way, so win-win-win. ]

[ohshutup]

Does it happen to belong to Alison Hendrix, by chance?

voice

[notsheepish]

Have you considered going on an adventure?

[ohshutup]

Oh, every day.

[She says it as if there's some secret joke in there somewhere.]

permatext

[deadtective]

Guilt people into giving you discounts and free shit. You know, like a terminal illness but seasonal.

permavoice

[ohshutup]

Is that how the Doctor got you to be his friend?

[acclimatized]

If I was celebrating them, I'd probably give bungee jumping or skydiving a try. Something to get the blood pumping anyway.

[ that guy a few comments up has the right idea, eyyy. ]

Buuut I'm guessing your friend has done stuff like that before?

[ohshutup]

Oh, my friend has definitely done stuff like that.

[A little smile, as if she's sharing a private joke with herself.]

Bit of a heart problem, though. It doesn't really pump like it used to.

[text]

[allforyuu]

There's always denial.

permavoice

[ohshutup]

Already tried that for awhile. It never turns out well in the end.

voice

[latro]

Get over it and drink already.

[ best advice is best ]

[ohshutup]

Already tried. Turns out you need a functioning bloodstream for it to work properly.

[akito]

I'd go to an amusement park and ride all of the roller coasters.

[ohshutup]

Are there any good ones here? I'm taking a road trip for Christmas, with my girlfriend and our kid.