video;

[wizzardly]

Right, so it's been brought to my attention that those bloody awful reports have been floating certain rumors around about me, and I'd rather just end those before they even get going all right?

[because even Rincewind's starved sense of self-respect has to draw the line at people thinking he fancies dishware.]

So, to be clear: I'm pansexual.

[which is an admittedly backwards linguistic for declaring one's lack of attraction to tea cups and related sundry, but there's just no accounting for etymological taste.]

There? [he arches a pointed brow.] Shall I assume that just about does it? All questions answered? Jolly good.

[honestly, the people in this place really will believe anything, won't they? Lucky that Snart fellow pointed this out when he did - things really could have gotten out of hand.]

Comments

[slightlyoffchilt]

When you're sick? Sick, you say.

I would sooner assume you're blowing off work.

[brushoff]

[ by sick, he means hungover so you're not ENTIRELY wrong..... ]

I am a dutiful employee that just so happens to have the misfortune of getting attacked by every nonsense this place calls up. [ huff huff pout pout! ] A cannibal ate my hand once, that was a fun phone call.

[slightlyoffchilt]

Well -- [Dorian did have a point.] Fair enough. You do tend to attract trouble, through no fault of your own I'm sure.

[The last breath was a little heavy on the sarcasm.]

[brushoff]

Now Fred, I'm not an idiot to deny that part of it is my fault. Like attracts like and bad company attracts bad company. [ because yeah, there is no way that Dorian can pretend to be a decent human being ] That doesn't change the fact, however, that some of my many myriad deaths were of no fault of my own and also rather silly.

[ looking at you, toiletgeddon. ]

[slightlyoffchilt]

You wouldn't give a karmic influence any credit, would you? I mean -- for all we know -- there is a fortune-favored imPort who might have been watching you from afar.

Because, quite like you said, some of your fatalities were... Out of the ordinary. Almost seems like plain bad luck.

[brushoff]

I don't believe in karma. [ said with a little shrug. ] Good deeds don't take away the bad deeds you did and vice versa. So why act nice in the hopes that something nice will happen to you?

[slightlyoffchilt]

I think most people fear the retribution, rather than favor the promised ease to come. Some might take comfort in deliberate acts of violence against oneself, rather than random acts of violence.

[Dorian has experience in both, in seemed.]

Ultimately -- it is all about control. And you know about control.

[brushoff]

Indeed I do, [ said with a dark little chuckle. ] It's something that I've come to value more than I expected.

[slightlyoffchilt]

Oh? Is this a recent perspective adopted?

[Like really, really recent?]

[brushoff]

[ bite him, Chilton ]

It's always been a thing! Just...with varying levels of success.

[slightlyoffchilt]

How fortunate that you see the light, regardless. Better to see the painting for what it is, rather than the brushstrokes.

[brushoff]

Well that much is obvious. What's the use of focusing in on the small little details? You don't read the story for it's words, you read the story because it's a story.

[slightlyoffchilt]

I am relieved that you see it that way.

[And totally didn't turn it on Chilton for being ballsy enough to use a painting reference. That's where his relief lies.]

[brushoff]

[ You take what you can get, Chilton. ]

Do you really think I'd see it a different way?

[slightlyoffchilt]

You can be... Preoccupied. At times.

[brushoff]

I've got a feeling that I won't like clarification by what you mean by 'preoccupied.'

[slightlyoffchilt]

Some subjects are better left untouched.

[brushoff]

[ siiiiiiiiiiigh ] I'll interpret that as 'don't even bother trying to figure out what's what.'

[slightlyoffchilt]

I am only trying to spare both our feelings.