Capsule 013 💊 | Audio; backdated to 12/01

[rassera]

Tetsuo's gone.

[It's the hardest thing Kaneda's ever been able to admit, and a large part of him didn't even want to make this broadcast. Something about how this was his business, or how it meant admitting defeat in his search for his best friend and family. His voice lacks the confidence it usually has, the undertone almost a soft squeak, as if he's trying to hold back tears.

That may explain why this is audio.]


You know.


For anyone that was looking, or whatever.


[There's an audible inhale and exhale, gloves covering his mouth as he thinks some things over.] So...I'll be taking over Neo Tokyo til I can kick his ass for ditching me with it. You know how to find me.

[No they don't.]

Comments

[rassera]

[And somehow he knew Riku would come. Not because of anything the communicator would tell him, but because he knew Riku's kind heart. That he wouldn't just leave this to a communicator conversation. He doesn't hang up, though, as if it were some thin tether holding them together as Riku transports himself through the Realm of Darkness.

Listening to it die down when he arrives, and waiting for the touch that would come with it.

The shoulder touch was all he needed to show cracks in the armor, fingers gripping his own hair roughly as he exhales a staggered breath.]

Yeah.


He's gone.

[resipiscent]

[Somehow that makes it worse, hearing it again, in person. He's not sure what it is about it that feels worse. Maybe it's that now he has to come up with something to say. He can't, not yet, so he just hums gently, turning to face Kaneda so he can tug him over. His arms aren't tight -- he just hangs on. One hand comes up to pull one of Kaneda's from his scalp, easing it down.]

... Yeah, [he says finally. What he doesn't say: it's okay if you're upset. You don't have to be strong. But he feels like he can get that across without saying it. Saying it feels somehow like he'd be undermining Kaneda's pride. When this happens -- at least for Riku, it's always felt like that's all he had left. It's not his place to do that.]

[rassera]

[Were it anyone Kaneda respected less, that hand would've stayed put. But Riku reaching up, taking it...he needed someone he trusted around. He'd trusted Tetsuo with everything in him to not disappear, and while he'd never blame the guy for it, he felt so alone right now. Needing someone to be there for him for once.

And Riku was the one who reached out to take his hand, to confirm it for him. And while that did feel like icy daggers to his heart, he nods, sniffles away some of his tears as they start to pool back inside his eyes...

Until they just can't. There's only been a handful of times Kaneda has ever cried, and this was one of them as his glove furiously tries to shove them back, wipe them away.]

Idiot just had to go home before me, didn't he.

[resipiscent]

[Riku smells the salt in his tears rather than sees them. He doesn't move, just sits and waits, lets him deal with it as he needs to. It's a feeling he's all too familiar with, after all. A feeling he remembers acutely every time he looks at Sora. When will he have to feel it next? But feeling it for someone -- because while he's sad to see Tetsuo go, that the weird little almost-friendship they'd started to kindle was finally less weird -- it's different. The way he feels about this and the way Kaneda must feel about it are on two very unlike levels.

So he waits until Kaneda feels like he's able to talk again, and then he simply dips his head a little, his mouth the smallest frown.]

Guess he forgot something. [Riku's voice is soft, and he doesn't try to catch his eye while he speaks. Perhaps he'll be back, but perhaps he won't. But what he knows of Tetsuo's fate back home, after seeing it back in October -- he knows with certainty that there is nothing optimistic about this, unlike Sora's disappearances. So he doesn't push -- he just sits.]

[rassera]

[Riku's response doesn't stop the tears from flowing--far from it. If anything, they more realistically pour down his cheeks now, his eyes puffy from desperately trying to hold them back and the vigorous scrubbing from his gloves. Being strong for something like this sucked. So many people he'd met here had left and he'd been strong through all of it. But Tetsuo was a different case. He thought they'd always arrive together and leave together.

The fragility of how long you stay here was never more apparent than right now. How long before Riku leaves? How long before Maya? Or Bull? Or Ken...

And did he have to stick around for that too? The pain was too much to even think about. Kaneda finally breaks, the weight of everything finally too much for even his durability to hold up out of spite. He'd lived through everything this world had thrown at him, but even the strongest of metals...the toughest of heroes can break. He slumps on Rikus body, hands desperately trying to grab hold of him.

As if that would keep him from disappearing into thin air.


And he cried. He cried so hard into the man's shoulder, tears soaking Riku's shoulder and staining both his cheeks and the fabric.

He'd lived through it all, although he couldn't really say it was a victory.]

He sucks, Riku.

[resipiscent]

[Strength is for other people, in Riku's opinion. For yourself... sometimes you have no choice but to be weak. It's important to feel your pain, rather than run from it. He can feel it when that pressure finally releases, Kaneda's entire body suddenly slack in his arms. Riku doesn't let go, simply gathers him up, his hold just as tight. They've both seen enough people go. If no one else left, he feels like that'd be just as well.

Riku lets out a long breath, his hand spread at the back of Kaneda's scalp, holding him there until he's ready to actually sit back up. His eyes are on the top of his head, mouth a line. He'll wait.

By the time Kaneda speaks again, Riku's hoodie is soaked through, but he ignores that. That's what washing machines are for. He just nods, the slightest dip of his chin.]

I know.

[rassera]

[Kaneda didn't cry often, and it's certainly the first time he's ever done so in front of Riku. Maybe it was a pride thing--he didn't want one of his first friends (and if he's going to be bitter, only surviving ones) to see how weak he felt on the inside. How brittle the gold was in reality, despite how it withstood any kind of beating. But tears don't stop, his fingers continue to dig into fabric as he tries to keep himself tied to this reality.

Wanting to yell at Riku as if that'd get him his way. He never threw tantrums, but now seemed like the right time to do so in his mind.]

I'm tired...

[Physically and mentally, he muses, as his voice softly hiccups any other words he might have added on.]

[resipiscent]

[Had Kaneda actually yelled at him he probably would have just sat there. But Riku knows that even the strongest metals aren't unbreakable, depending on what you do to them. Even gold can be broken down -- how else could you temper it? Sometimes things have to be destroyed if they're to be strengthened.

That little mumble is all he needs, really.]

Come stay over for a few days, [Riku says simply, tilting his head a little. He doesn't try to catch his eye, just sits in the same place, waiting for a reply. It's all right if he doesn't want to -- but the offer's there, even so.]