21 ⚜ Misfired Text

[restingstitchface]

[Attached is a single message: it's not the worst he's written, but it's up there.]

Is it unethical to inform children Santa isn't real?

Comments

[restingstitchface]

You said sure, yes? Your vehement emphasis holds an undercurrent of doubt.

[helpline]

The doubt's because I don't know why you're questioning me. Santa's real, end of story, thanks for playing, collect your prize on the way out.

sorry for this being late

[restingstitchface]

Well, does your perception of St. Nick's existence make him real for others if he doesn't exist within their reality? We are all the centre of our worlds.

Regardless, I'm questioning you for the same reason I approach anyone. Curiosity.

[And boredom.]

heeeey, no worries

[helpline]

Except for I'm pretty sure he does exist in your reality. He might be an alternate timeline constant, like George Washington or Margaret Thatcher.

[restingstitchface]

Well, I haven't encountered him so far. Believing in fairy tales isn't a luxury all of us can afford. I don't believe there isn't power in the archetype, however...

[helpline]

I don't know why you keep saying 'fairy tales', considering he's real.

Jury's still out on the Easter Bunny, by the way.

[restingstitchface]

[Clearly the real issue is he's bitter he never got presents.]

Well, I...

[Why is he discussing that as if it's real?]

It's not even Easter yet. I picture the jury sitting down then. Can't you afford to be patient?

[helpline]

Why on Earth would I want to be patient?

[ said as if patience is LITERALLY THE WORST THING EVER ]

[restingstitchface]

Because here you've got time.

[He lived months under the threat of a nuclear bomb and kept his patience. Get on his level.]

[helpline]

To what, wait until Easter to check to see if the rabbit's real? You think I haven't done that already?

[restingstitchface]

[This doesn't make sense!]

I assumed you've been here months. Not longer than Easter, certainly. I haven't paid attention to what you've done, honestly.

[helpline]

I've been here over a year, you know.

[ this doesn't make sense = the Doctor Who story ]

[restingstitchface]

Really? How could you have survived all that time without turning crazy?

[By turning others crazy through your grumpy old man speak? MAYBE.]

[helpline]

Who's to say I haven't?

[ by being over two thousand and ECCENTRIC AS HELL. ]

[restingstitchface]

Everyone who hasn't met you, I'd wager.

[They both make people want to kill them soon as they speak. They should be superfriends.]

[helpline]

I dunno, I have ruined a swear-in before. That's enough to automatically get you labeled as erratic, possibly crazy as well.

[ by their powers combined, they are annoying ]

[restingstitchface]

Oh, that's an accusation thrown about all the time by uneducated people who don't comprehend madness.

[Says the Arkham patient.]

Who's the guilty party in your case?

[Everyone? Everyone.]

[helpline]

Guilty for what, labeling me erratic? Well easily myself. At least it's just erratic, though—a friend of mine willingly calls herself bananas, that's a bit harsher connotations.

[restingstitchface]

[He could ask about that friend, but this man would never shut up - and that's a distraction he's unwilling to deal with.]

Yes, well, interesting men need interesting company. I can imagine you're feeling quite bored without necessary stimulation?

[helpline]

For the most part. But if I don't have the stimulation, I'll simply make it myself.

[ if there is no trouble THEN HE SHALL MAKE IT ]

[restingstitchface]

That's a perfectly reasonable course of action.

[Says the guy who uses fear toxin.]

Still, stimulation's a funny thing, isn't it? Something's that's so good and fun for you, and yet so many people can have a problem with it.

[helpline]

Well, like most things, it all depends on the stimulation. Some's good, some's bad. It's like food!

[restingstitchface]

More like alcohol, one'd say.

Oh, by the way, do you still request Cabernet?

[helpline]

[ goddammit, he had a feeling he invited Crane to the party via misfires. :| ]

Yep! Bring a mixer though—not for the Cabernet, but for the younger or not-drinking crowd.

[restingstitchface]

[Oh. That invite was to a party with children?

Ugh. Fine.]

Good lord, no. They can have water.