02 | Text | Total misfire meant for John Watson

[thevictoriandetective]

Can you get me an arm or a leg or something to experiment on? I haven't made any friends with morgue personnel yet.

Eyeballs would be fantastic too. The best I could do lately was a severed finger I found in a gutter.

-SH

Comments

[brushoff]

[ because Dorian knows he has shitty friends, ]

Dear imPorts,
DO NOT SUGGEST ME AS AN OPTION.
xoxo Dorian

<3

[heckblazer]

damn, now I have to rethink my whole strategy.

[brushoff]

Just because you CAN regrow limbs doesn't mean you WANT to.

[heckblazer]

Chicken.

[brushoff]

Or someone who has his priorities in order.

[ he will eventually negotiate lopping off fingers for drugs. Dorian does not have his priorities in order. ]

[heckblazer]

When do you ever

[brushoff]

Most of the time! Definitely most of the time idk what you're insinuating.

[heckblazer]

How could I possibly insinuate a single thing.

How on Earth could I insinuate that the 150 year old hedonistic vainglorious manchild possibly have a problem with priorities.

When does that ever sound like something I'd even imply.

I mean, REALLY.

[brushoff]

Excuse you

I am NOT a manchild.

[heckblazer]

mate. you are literally famous for having a portrait that ages for you.

[brushoff]

That just means I made a smart decision.

[heckblazer]

why not just sell your soul like a normal person so that you don't have an obvious and highly flammable weakness?

[brushoff]

I don't know how many times I have to tell you people that I had no idea of the terms & conditions when I made the deal in the first place.
Because if I did, OBVIOUSLY my Achilles Heel wouldn't be something you can take out with a lighter that costs two pounds.

[thevictoriandetective]

OH! Can you regrow limbs? Could I at least have a couple of fingers if so?

[brushoff]

Yes I can and no you can't!

[thevictoriandetective]

Why not? Just take some painkillers, you'll be fine.

[brushoff]

Right, because Advil will adequately distract from the pain of having your finger chopped off.

Get me something good and maybe we'll talk.

[thevictoriandetective]

I can get you something good.

[NO SHERLOCK.]

[brushoff]

We're talking like high quality hospital grade painkillers here. I'm not going to accept store-brand anything.

[ NO DORIAN AS WELL. ]

[thevictoriandetective]

I can get you anything.

[JUST SAY NO JUST SAY NO]

[brushoff]

In that case, opioids. Something strong, like morphine or oxycodone. At least two doses, one for when the fingers get lopped off, one for personal use later.

[ CAN SOME ADULT PLEASE SHAKE BOTH OF THEM, THIS IS A PUBLIC CHANNEL, PLEASE STOP THAT YOU TWO. ]

[thevictoriandetective]

That sounds like the best course of action for a procedure as such. My technopathy will allow me to easily gain access to any digitally locked cabinet, plus disrupt any CCTV. It'll be a piece of cake.

[YOU'RE GONNA GET BUSTED BOTH OF YOU IT WILL NOT BE A PIECE OF CAKE YOU STOP THAT RIGHT NOW BOTH OF YOU JOHN WATSON SOMEONE ANYONE HELP]

[brushoff]

Well then! Do we have a deal?

[ and this is the story of how they both got arrested. ]

[thevictoriandetective]

Just name the place and time.

[Hope they look good in orange.]

[brushoff]

How about yours? And time, after you've gotten the drugs, obviously.