Video - under cut for language

[dirtyredneck]

[Daryl does not like video, but he's agitated and didn't feel writing this out would come across with the proper amount of outrage.]

Whoever sent this shit ain't funny.

[He can't really post a screen shot of what he's talking about, so instead he just reads a few of these off.]

"-Take more showers. Work on personal hygiene. Visit a barber at least once a month."

I take showers every fucking day. And my hair ain't no one's business but my own!

"-Get better taste in movies. If you must like Disney films for children, consider Nightmare Before Christmas instead of Pete’s Dragon."

FUCK YOU! Pete's Dragon's a great movie!

[There are actually worse things on the list of 'Resolutions' he'd been given. Two in particular that are more the source of his anger than then one's he going off about, but putting it out there would be showing too much vulnerability when he already didn't have a proper outlet for taking his anger out on whoever sent it. So it's just these few that he'll be publicly raging about and making it look like he has the shortest fuse ever.]

"-Learn to shoot better. But not at people."

Show your fucking face and I'll show you how good I can shoot! You can take your resolutions and shove 'em up your ass!

[With that he tosses the phone down hard on the couch and it bounces before he fumbles with it and shuts it off.]

[[All responses will be Audio]]

Comments

[beneathbluerafters]

Yes, and they weren't having kittens.

[ The problem here is that he got the puritanical, 16th century, fire-and-brimstone version of 'The Talk.' Also, his ears are starting to go purple. ]

[brushoff]

Oh, so he was just in heat? That's easier to deal with.

[ ha ha, let's make Klarion blush. ]

[beneathbluerafters]

I can assure you that it is not.

[ DORIAN, WHY ]

[brushoff]

Oooh, have you had to deal with both? I'm so sorry.

[ no he isn't. He's grinning like an idiot. ]

[beneathbluerafters]

What? No! No, it never got that far, he was just being... amorous. Towards other cats. Not even draaga-cats.

[ Congrats Dorian, he is officially flustered. ]

[brushoff]

So he was just being horny? That's not a sin.

[ points for Dorian, let's go team asshole ]

[beneathbluerafters]

[ TELL THAT TO THE 16TH CENTURY ]

It is when I have to see it!

[brushoff]

He's going to have to see you being horny eventually. This is simply fair play.

[beneathbluerafters]

[ AUUUUUGH ]

This line of conversation ends now, or I'll teleport into your apartment and turn every one of your shirts into a wet dishrag.

[ he sounds deadly serious, but his ears are also burning purple, so DORIAN HAS WON THIS ROUND ]

[brushoff]

[ Dorian's won and HE KNOWS IT. ]

Fine, fine. Shall we talk about something else? Preferably a bit more G-rated?

[beneathbluerafters]

Literally anything else would be preferable.

[brushoff]

We can go back to yelling about Disney movies instead.

[beneathbluerafters]

Excellent. You still have rubbish taste.

[brushoff]

Just as yours is horribly childish.

[beneathbluerafters]

This coming from a senile old man arguing about Disney movies. I have an excuse!

[brushoff]

[ Absolutely scandalized, Dorian continues with ]

I am not senile!