03 | VIDEO

[musclemothers]

[When the video opens, imPorts get a good sight of the top of Rusty's nose before he begins to jog backwards, revealing that the camera was set far enough away from the building to have it have a pretty damn good view of the place.

The place in question is a warehouse with its icon and the words VENTURE INDUSTRIES emblazoned on the front of the building in stylish, metallic silver letters. To be honest, the outside actually looks pretty damn impressive. He worked hard on the place.

The inside is a different story, but nobody's seeing the inside today, now, are they?]

A-hem! Good afternoon, fellow imPorts, because I have got a very big announcement to make today. I'd like to announce the formal opening of Venture Industries, a new, imPort-run R&D company. This baby right here - [he tilts his head, gesturing towards the building] - is where you'll want to go if you need a superscientist attending to your affairs. While we do a general business here, it would be neglectful of me not to mention my specialties. [Which he pronounces, this time, and this time only as spe-see-al-i-ties, because he's trying to sound fancy.] We specialize in engineering work, weaponry, and, of course, the vast field of, ah... DNA studies.

[Which is a nice way of saying that he used to have a cloning facility in his basement, but shh!]

The point being that although I've already got my hands full with government projects, I'd be more than happy to squeeze some fellow imPorts into my busy schedule. Or if any of you youngsters are looking for a truly exciting place to intern at, you have my number.

That's all. Helper, the fireworks!

[ One, solitary firework explodes over the top of the building. It looks pitiful.]

Helper!

[And then a flamethrower begins to shoot incessantly from the roof. From Helper, really, who's currently standing on the roof.]

Goddamn it, this is why I need an intern, because of your incompete--

[Of course, the feed clicks off before the general public can hear any more of Rusty's verbal flagellation of his poor, confused robot.]

[ OOC: On the off-chance that anyone's interested in the offered internship or work being done, Rusty is currently accepting interns and has government contracts for advanced weaponry with additional interests in biological warfare. Feel free to PM me for further plotting or contact me on plurk at wisdombitch! ]

Comments

video;

[helpline]

Where do we sign up for the building tours?

[ so the Doctor can just take notes everywhere and make certain things aren't too supervillain. c: ]

video;

[musclemothers]

[Things are extremely supervillain-y.]

Oh, I'm not accepting building tours at the moment -- although that is a very good idea. We used to have them all the time back home. Great for the kiddies to have a little chance at seeing what being a scientist is like. I do encourage all kids to pursue their interest in science and technology, after all.

[He even winks. Oh god, it's nauseating.]

Although if you want to hire me for a job, then of course you may come and see the facility. After we work on the specifics, of course.

video; private

[helpline]

[ he fucking knew it.

anyway the Doctor does not trust this! he does not trust this in the slightest! Which is why he swaps to private so that the bullshitting can be done behind closed doors. ]

Well then, let's talk about jobs. What sort of engineering are we talking about? Let's see that portfolio!

Video

[liverletdie]

[ He leans back lazily, definitely playing the part of the big shark in the ocean Rusty's stepping into. ]

Well, welcome to the competition.

Video

[musclemothers]

Competition? Aren't you more of a phone guy?

[slightlyoffchilt]

Does the Monarch know you are cheating on him with Stark?

[musclemothers]

For the last time, we are not -- [He makes a strangled off sound, cutting himself off, because he isn't exactly doing himself any favours.] Come on, what's with the gay fascination, huh? If you keep it up, I might start thinking you, Doctor, are closeted.

Which you don't have to be. I mean, it's 2017, for god's sake.

Video

[defriendzone]

[ That sure was a display...... ]

What kind of DNA studies?

[musclemothers]

[cloning

it's definitely cloning]

Oh, I dabble. You know, trying to isolate certain diseases, certain shortcomings, you know, a world without cancer, yadda yadda yadda. [Definitely not that.] Here, I suppose I'd be interested in checking out imPort DNA, see how different we happen to be.

video;

[hunksmash]

Isn't governmental weapon stuff supposed to be... I dunno'. A little more clandestine?

[musclemothers]

Why, if it isn't Hunk! How nice to see you again. [YOU SEEMED EXPLOITABLE LAST TIME] Anyway, I wouldn't worry about that. I mean, my being funded by the public is on the record, hm? It would seem far stranger if I were to deny it.

[hunk is right. hunk is always right.]

Video

[cantwalkwithoutit]

It's been a while since we last spoke, but it certainly seems you've used your time wisely.

Re: Video

[musclemothers]

But of course! It doesn't suit, ahem, great, entrepeneurial minds such as my own to stay stagnant for all that time. Don't get me wrong, it's not as though I had any trouble paying the bills with my assigned work, but this? Much more my style.

video;

[marriedmedium]

How wonderful! [She applauds, paying no apparent mind to the flamethrower.] Are you going to hold a grand opening reception, darling?

[musclemothers]

[ Sadie, you're a gem. God bless you for not mentioning the flamethrower. ]

Well. I'd be lying if I didn't say I was thinking about it. But it wouldn't be in there, certainly -- too much dangerous merchandise.

And it would be an awful lot of work. I mean, the planning, and the -- the planning and the, uh... planning... I mean, I'm really more interested in the scientific part of affairs.

[ okay, he desperately wants a grand opening, but he's scared nobody will come ]

[darwinatrix]

Building flamethrowers?

[musclemothers]

What? No! I mean, that one's already built. I wouldn't waste my time on that nonsense; I can do that in my sleep. That's just Helper being...

[He pinches the bridge of his nose.]

Helpful.

[butterflyforawhiteguy]

You know this is basically asking for it, right?

[musclemothers]

What, I'm not allowed to promote my business? Because I'm doing something here?

Unlike some people. Who haven't quite learned how to adapt. Maybe go arch Tony Stark, he fits the bill. Ooh, or Chilton. You could shit in his desk.

video;

[sidecars]

Why they gotta be young? Way to be discriminatory.

[ Excuse him, James is on pain killers and bored out of his mind. He'll pick a fight with a complete stranger if he wants to! ]

video;

[musclemothers]

Naturally, I assumed that the only people seriously interested in an internship over a, ahem, paying job would be the young. But please, by all means, apply for the position. I don't give a shit if my intern's ninety, so long as he's not tripping all over the lab.

Video

[thevictoriandetective]

You can't be serious.

[He's got a deadpan gaze. But after a pause, he brightens with a sort of manic energy. He speaks so fast one wonders if he even bothers to breathe.]

I'm also extremely interested in finding out more of what you do. Especially the DNA work. Splicing jellyfish genes into rabbits to make them glow in the dark? Or something a bit larger? I know there's got to be all sorts of competition with other firms or the government on DNA research especially in a place like this.

Re: Video

[musclemothers]

No, I rented a building and copyrighted my business name for a joke. [He rolls his eyes, obnoxiously.] Honestly.

[Why are people here so rude!!! It obviously has nothing to do with himself!!!]

At the present, I have no contracts having to do with DNA, but I can't imagine why I'd bother with glowing bunnies. What kind of experiment is that?

[scrap_metal]

[ A superscientist? Engineering? Weapons? Interesting. ]

What are exact requirements of this internship?

[musclemothers]

You do what I tell you to do, you don't break anything, and you're willing to do it for free.

[Sweet gig, right?]

That's about it. Don't worry about experience in the field -- that's what an internship is for. After that? Maybe you'll just become a full-fledged employee.