011 ★ Video

[unbreaker]

I guess it's that time again, huh?

[Despite being dressed in a stark white shirt, matte black tie, and lacking his usual over-the-top effects, Josuke's face is lit up like the sun. He waves at the camera, giving the people he's speaking to his undivided attention. Behind him, people dressed similarly amble in the direction of Heropa's police academy, most seeming to pay him no mind, but a couple of the younger adults stopping to wave at the recording camera as some people can't help but do.]

There's a lot of new imPorts showing up. Think I even saw some heading to the houses near mine. Reminds me of when I got here two years ago...it's kinda hard to believe I'm going on the third year already.

[He scratches at the back of his head and then shrugs.]

Can't say it's been bad, though! I've met a lot of great people and had a lot of fun. But things can get sort of wild around here, you know? Which is what I really wanted to talk about. As amazing as this place can be...there's a lot of shit to watch out for and people to be wary of.

[Not naming any names, of course. Not yet.]

But don't worry. It really does get easier, and you're not alone.

[With a toothy grin, Josuke gives the camera a thumbs up.]

Anyway...I'm probably in for a long day here, but I'm thinking of catching a movie later. Any of you wanna come along, maybe make some friends and get to know the ropes a little, you're more than welcome!

Comments

[unbreaker]

[Don't short circuit your brain, Lapis!]

Heh, okay...don't worry about it. Like I said, I'll bring some.

[He flashes a grin and shoots her a thumbs up.]

Even if you've never had it before, I think you'll like it! Most people do.

[oceanthief]

[NO ONE SAID THERE WOULD BE A TEST!!

she gives him two distracted thumbs up, instinctively copying the gesture again. as with last time they linger far past their expiration date. perfect.]

It's not like I have that much to compare it to.

[unbreaker]

[...yeah, he'll never correct that, it's too adorable.]

Come on, you telling me you don't eat much? I mean...I guess you don't have to, but why wouldn't you want to? There's so many awesome foods here! Well, except for the shitty Italian and Japanese knockoffs. I've had the real stuff, and lemme tell you, what they serve here doesn't compare!

[He's so biased.

And would also get along so well with Amethyst...]

[oceanthief]

I don't even know what an Italian and Japanese is.

[she's just...saying. they sound kind of like building materials more than an energy source to her, honestly.]

Eating's just not something that I really think about. It just seems kind of silly to spend a lot of time on a foreign planet sitting around and putting organic stuff in my mouth.

[as opposed to sitting around and binging earth culture, of course.]

[unbreaker]

Oh...um, they're nationalities. Like American and Russian. And Gemican!

[Wait, no...oh shit. Maybe if he keeps talking she won't pick up on that.

Josuke points at himself quickly.]

I'm Japanese. Well...technically half-Japanese 'cause my old man is British. Anyway, my point is that there's a lot of specific food that's pretty unique to our cultures! And Americans copy it...badly.

And excuse you, but if you're gonna go to a different country or a whole different planet, you have to try the food. There's so much heart in a well cooked meal!

[oceanthief]

[she understands none of these words, and the concept of a half anything even less. she thought that Josuke was human? it wasn't even a weird case like Steven - she'd seen his gem even with his little squishy pink outside, after all. none of this made any sense.

there's no way that she can keep the creeping horror off her face, especially as he just keeps going on and on and the bizarre meaningless words pile up around her like some kind of awful smothering hand. she does at least something that sounds sort of like 'gem' in there, and files that one away for further research. it might be nice to hang around people she didn't have to explain herself to for a while.

thankfully (she thinks) he just keeps right on chattering into a topic that, while one she still doesn't understand, she can at least respond to. bless people who talk until they pass out.]

I'm not really looking for anyone's heart while I'm here.

[unbreaker]

[Well that stops Josuke abruptly. He gives Lapis a confused look, and then snorts.]

I didn't mean a real heart! I mean there's lots of love in it!

[oceanthief]

[ok, but-]

I don't think that's edible either.

[unbreaker]

It's an expression, Lapis! I'm not being literal!

[oceanthief]

What kind of expression is that? You might as well be saying you're putting rocks in the food.

[which...she thinks that humans can't eat. shit. can they eat rocks? ah, fuck.]

[unbreaker]

[Josuke shakes his head and sighs heavily. Explaining shit to a Gem is not an easy task. They're as hardheaded as their name implies!]

I don't know anyone who says or even does that, for one. And for another, it's the kind of expression that means...they're taking great care with what they're making so that it's perfect and the person or people eating the meal will be really satisfied! That's why authentic cuisine from other cultures is the best! Because they care about getting the recipes right and not throwing in really gross substitutes! You...follow?

[oceanthief]

[Lapis momentarily clenches a tiny fist to her chest in silent triumph at having made an assumption about humans that wasn't completely off. they don't eat rocks, fuck yes. it's probably completely nonsensical to Josuke, but she doesn't even consider this.]

What's the matter with just saying that in the first place?

[unbreaker]

You want the truth?

Humans are pretty lazy and impatient, so shortening things is kinda how we roll! Er...that is, it's just kind of what we do.

[oceanthief]

You're all way too behind to be doing stuff like that.

[unbreaker]

Maybe by your standards, but it works for us!

[oceanthief]

I'm not so sure about that.

[unbreaker]

Whaddya mean?

[oceanthief]

You're letting people think you eat each other, for one.

[unbreaker]

Like you could do it better!

[oceanthief]

I don't have to, we don't need to eat at all.

[SO SHE KIND OF ALREADY HAS? EAT SHIT???]

[unbreaker]

...cheater.

[oceanthief]

[WOW WHAT her shoulders shoot up defensively as if he'd given her a good hit with a gem destabilizer.]

It's not my fault you can't generate your own energy!

[unbreaker]

I don't know, maybe it is your fault. Maybe Gems are sabotaging our development by stomping all over our self-esteem!

[oceanthief]

Humans eat the same way even on universes we don't exist in! If you feel bad about it then you have to do something.

[unbreaker]

Maybe you just want us to think you don't exist! You could be everywhere!