maskormenace | (no subject)

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[On the network is what appears to be a young boy, about 12 or 13 years old. For a moment, he stares quite soulfully at the video output impossibly deep, black eyes, and then pokes at the screen with one fingernail.]

Not even a proper imp in there, how's that for you...?

[He pulls back and mimes clearing his throat. A voice far, far more booming than is fit for the child's face resounds across the feed.]

Right, broadcast. AHEM. This is just a friendly, non-suspicious question, inquiring on when the next coup or violent overthrow of this government is going to be. Not that I'm actually advocating it, I just know you humans really can't resist.

I'm pretty handy with a popcorn machine if anyone can provide good seats.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Well...They're probably all dead, aren't they.

By now? Definitely.

Poor things.

[ NOT PROCESSING, ACTUALLY. ARE WE MOURNING IMPS.

THE SAME IMPS HE KNOWS??????

.....???? ????? ]

[ Kitty, oblivious to his confusion, goes on: ]

They have names, don't they? They must, to be summoned.

Uuuuugggghh. I'm bored just thinking about it.

[ He flops down on the table. ]

[ Ugh. ]

Oh, yeah. And what if some marid said the name of a mere djinni wasn't worth remembering?

[ He looks up. ]

First, I'd congratulate them for stringing that many words together.

Uh huh.

I can even give them helpful grammar tips while I'm dodging Detonations.

You know, there's a contrast between what you say you'll do in front of the greater spirits and what you actually do.

I think you mean, "Oh, Name Redacted, your tactical flexibility is so admirable."

Or possibly, "Goodness, you could be a bit more honest."

Seems overrated.

Well, you've hardly given it a try.

Not even once. Never kept my word or told it straight. Much easier this way.

That's also a lie.

It's true. I always lie.

Please don't tell me that you're the origin of all those idiotic riddles with the gate guardian who claims always to lie or whatever.

It was a really boring shift, okay.

Good eating, though.

You didn't really...

We're all one in the Other Place. I'm just hurrying it back along.

Right, and what about the humans you ate?

Does me the excellent favour of A. Dying and releasing my bondage. B. Giving me a fairwell boost. C. Indigestion, because what magician doesn't get a last word in.

I mean what happens to them.