[ video ]

[hostage]

[Videoblogging fresh and early in the morning with this serene backdrop, Jesse looks clean and put-together in a way that suggests he's been fussed over by stylists for at least an hour and probably just came straight from a photo session. Which he has. But the network gets a more casual, less Media-Friendly Jesse Pinkman overall, as he gives the camera a little wave and gets right to it:]

So... Oh yeah, hi, all you new guys. I'm Jesse, in case you didn't know that. Been here a, uh, long time now. Three years? So, you know, hit me with questions and I probably got a few answers.

[He claps his hands. Moving on.]

Anyway, I started a business. Something I been working on since summer, actually. 'cause volunteering at hospitals and all, it's great and I'm still gonna take some time and do that, but like they say: When you're good at something, don't just do it for free. So check this out:

[And he pops over a link to a website.]

And, look, before you say anything: No, I didn't name it or design it or anything. Way smarter people than me did all that. I'm just the guy with the superpowers who gets to look pretty in the ads. Don't ask me if I do yoga. I seriously don't do yoga.

Where was I going with this? Uh, right, we're hiring people. Healers are the best, but if you got any kinda powers you think might be useful around a luxury health resort, come at me. I'll find a place for you. This business is about showing the world what kinda good us imPorts can do and making a shitload of money while we're doing it. So everybody wins, really.

Awesome. Okay. Happy New Year.

Comments

[quemar]

[Robbie would normally never look twice at a spa, but he desperately needs a second job, according to himself. And he can't exactly look for a position at an auto shop when he's got no idea how hovercars even work. Punching people who need to get punched is a fine art that he imagines hasn't changed significantly between the dimensions, on the other hand...]

Website says you're looking for security staff. Is it gonna be a problem that I left all my references in another dimension?

[hostage]

[A new face!]

Got anybody around here who knows you from back home?

video;

[itistolaugh]

Oohh, looks fancy. Question, is there a discount for people who've touched your dick?

[hostage]

[Jesse smothers a laugh into his hand. God, Harley.]

Free. It's free for anybody who's ever touched my dick.

video;

[alcheregis]

Oh, it's so pretty! You've really outdone yourself, dear.

[hostage]

I seriously can't take any of the credit. There was a whole committee for this thing. All I did was point at stuff and say "yes".

video

[disguarded]

Is this what people use their abilities for here?

[She's only halfway paying attention, btw, mostly focused on rummaging through the cabinets of a kitchen maybe? It's hard to tell. But she's barely glancing at the camera and both looks and sounds quite bored.]

[hostage]

People use their abilities for whatever the fuck they want. Kind of like how they use their hands.

Video

[pushtheboundaries]

...I'm not complaining, but this isn't something I'd have expected.

[He sounds more impressed than critical.]

Nice work.

[hostage]

Like I said, pretty much none of it was my work. I just sat here and pointed at stuff I liked and then twenty other people told me why it sucked and I should do this other thing instead.

video;

[textualhealing]

Okay, seeing as anyone who's touched your dick gets in free, can I touch your dick?

[hostage]

First off, I can't believe it took you this long to wanna touch my dick.

action.......

[infomodder]

[Excuse Will as he just slides by wherever Jeff is long enough to stare at him and Jeff to realize it's happening. You treat that boy right, bro.]

video;

[shifting]

It looks amazing. Really don't have any other word for it.

[hostage]

I keep feeling like somebody's gonna walk in and throw me out.

video;

[fayzedandconfused]

Whoa! Can I be a lifeguard?

[ Mostly she wants to hang out by a pool in Florida all day. So sue her. ]

[hostage]

You're a little small for a lifeguard. You can just come and hang out in the pools.

video;

[cleptes]

Now that is a place I will definitely visit when I get a chance. I love it.

[hostage]

Good. I'm gonna pamper the shit outta you.

video

[sunbathed]

Those way smarter people did quite the lovely job.

[ as much as she enjoys the ease of her current job there is something about this Ammy admits would be nice. it would be a great way to introduce her song to the population as well. ]

I have healing powers and I imagine my singing could be quite helpful too. Would our registration status affect employment?

[hostage]

[A singer with healing powers! He likes the sound of that.]

Nah. Just, like, mostly a legal thing.

video;

[fridgeflower]

Do you think what I do could help in something like this? I've been working at the perfume store since I got here, and...

I keep meaning to try and do more constructive things with my powers. I'm not sure if zen-ing people out for profit is good or questionable.

[hostage]

Are you kidding? It's what your powers were made for. Like aromatherapy but actually real.

voice;

[slightlyoffchilt]

Look at you. Moving on up.

[hostage]

Are you proud, daddy?

[morethan084]

You sure know how to promote your business.

[hostage]

You know, imPorts ain't even my customer base.

video

[jacksonian]

What, no mention of your investors?

[hostage]

Ain't the press enough?

voice;

[mathemagier]

Cure any illness? That's quite a bold claim.

[Was interested, now calling bs. Also that price tag there bro.]

[hostage]

Wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it. Shit, last thing I need's a lawsuit.

[video]

[admemoriam]

Okay, but hear me out - professional bed tester. You know you totally need one.

[hostage]

[Jesse scratches his chin and nods in consideration.]

Is that just comfort level you think needs testing, or is there jumping around involved? 'cause I'm thinking maybe it's important all the mattresses stand up to the jump test.