[Video]

[bloodshots]

[ Tabris squints at the camera, moving it back and forth until she's sure that she can be clearly seen. Strange magic, but she's getting used to it. ]

Okay, so. This one is for all of the nonhumans of us out there. Sorry, shems.

[ She's not sorry. ]

Alright, so, I don't know about you guys, but having a couple hundred prisoners who don't like imPorts made it profoundly clear that I have a big glowy sign over my head that says 'imPort'. Or, I guess the sign is on the side of my head, because. Pointy ears.

From what I can tell, this world only cranks out humans. Which--Andraste's flaming ass, it's weird. Why do they only have humans running around? Do you think they went and, like. Killed off everyone else? I wouldn't put it past them.

[ She pauses for a moment. ]

If I'm actually full of shit and there are some organically grown all natural nonhumans from this world, please direct me to them and I'll send them a gift basket in apology.

Comments

[video]

[bloodshots]

Yep. All natural alienage-raised elf, that's me. I wouldn't mind getting a list of some of the other elves wandering around. How many of us are there, anyway?

[ Pause. ]

No offense, [ Which means she's about to say something offensive. ] But what the fuck is wrong with your worlds?

[dendarii]

A few. Mahanon Levellan is here - you might look him up first, in fact. And Spock, though he's a different variety called a Vulcan.

[ He grins a bit at that; his own private joke. ]

And I really have no idea. We don't know any better.

[bloodshots]

Humans rarely know better, it doesn't stop us from existing. Unless. The whole killing thing.

--Levellan? That Dalish that has humans thinkin' he's the next coming of Andraste? That Levellan?

[dendarii]

No murdering, I swear. We truly never had any.

[ He holds up his hands. ]

And yes? I think so? You've met, then.

[bloodshots]

We haven't met, actually. He got his current gig because I disappeared, and then he tracked me down and sent me a letter asking if I knew what was up with this evil fucker that was killing off all the people under my command. Which figures, honestly, you pull one vanishing act and the whole world goes to shit.

[ She pauses in her indignant rambling. ]

But. The point is: I know him, I'll see if I can look him up. Thanks.

[dendarii]

... Goodness. I had no idea you had such history together.

[bloodshots]

Mostly, he just steals my friends for advisors.

[sidequestings]

What the hell, you can't come be the Inquisitor to save me the trouble, but you can show up in a complete alternate dimension to give me grief about borrowing--just borrowing!--your friends?

[ excuse u, tabris!! also, he's obviously glad to see her if the grin is any indication. ]

[bloodshots]

Well, if I'd known they wanted me to be the Inquisitor...I would've ran even further in the opposite direction. [ sux2bu ] And I don't remember you asking! Although. That might have to do with the whole vanishing thing...

Just make sure you return them in the same condition you got them.

[ She squints into the camera, clicking her tongue. ]

Paint my ass and call me an Orlesian. You really are a Dalish, ain't ya? Shit, I thought the person who told me was pulling my leg.

[sidequestings]

Leliana and Cassandra had a couple of people in mind, I think, but I was the only idiot who didn't run the minute I got a chance.

[ his lips quirk back up again at that. ] Not just Dalish. I'm Dalish and the shems actually listen to me when I speak. It's absolutely bizarre.

[bloodshots]

Just wait until they try tapping you to fix the world a few more times, then you'll catch on. You can join the club with me and Hawke.

The shems listen to me, but I have a really big sword and I killed a corrupt god, so. Maybe I should've tried tapping Andraste to make them listen, instead. If she didn't mind the whole...swiping her ashes thing...

[ It was important. Kind of. Theoretically. ]

[sidequestings]

No thanks. I'm a one-and-done kind of guy. I'm hoping to retire from the heroic business after cleaning up Corypheus. [ hahaha if you only knew, mahanon. ]

It's effective, I'll give you that. I've spent the entire time telling them I'm not Andraste's chosen and frankly, I could care less about her, but somehow I'm still in charge.

[bloodshots]

Most men don't brag about being one-and-done. [ She says, cheerfully. ]

Well, you do have the whole 'saving the world' thing going for you. I've noticed that it's pretty effective at mobilizing people.

[dendarii]

Well, how else is he supposed to know they're good advisors?

[sidequestings]

Thank you, Miles.

[dendarii]

[ Miles grins a bit and gives the camera a thumbs-up. ]