ѕarιѕѕa "noт тoday, ѕaтan" тнeron (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
magnitudes) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
maskormenace2017-02-26 02:37 pm
magnitudes) wrote in maskormenace2017-02-26 02:37 pm
008. video.
G'day g'day, this is Sarissa Theron, local hero and devastatingly good looking rural.
( She seems in a better mood than last time she posted, and better form - and sure, she is, but it's also Sarissa trying very very ahrd to be Okay, and definitely not actually being Okay. Still, there's a healthy flush to her cheeks, and unlike last time she's got a smear of mud on her cheek and is looking like she's been working outside. Wherever she is, she's definitely in a field, and there's a shed nearby. )
I know, two posts from me, in one month? Overkill, definitely. But this is so important. Or, should I say,
( and she grins, brightly, before turning the camera... ) sow important?
( Yes, viewers. In-frame is a very large sow, pink with black patches. Around her are nine little piglets, varied from all pink to speckled to covered in patches, and one that is totally black. )
I just rescued these guys from a bit of a situation. Got them a special shed and I just finished the fences on the fields a couple days ago, so good timing, but I gotta head back into town to pick up some more supplies and that. If anyone has any fruit and veggies or pig feed or straw or - I mean, anything that you wanna donate to the rescue pig extravaganza, lemme know.
( A thumbs up; she is so excited. Pigs!!! ) And I need help coming up with names, because they can't all be Hamlet or Francis Bacon.
( She seems in a better mood than last time she posted, and better form - and sure, she is, but it's also Sarissa trying very very ahrd to be Okay, and definitely not actually being Okay. Still, there's a healthy flush to her cheeks, and unlike last time she's got a smear of mud on her cheek and is looking like she's been working outside. Wherever she is, she's definitely in a field, and there's a shed nearby. )
I know, two posts from me, in one month? Overkill, definitely. But this is so important. Or, should I say,
( and she grins, brightly, before turning the camera... ) sow important?
( Yes, viewers. In-frame is a very large sow, pink with black patches. Around her are nine little piglets, varied from all pink to speckled to covered in patches, and one that is totally black. )
I just rescued these guys from a bit of a situation. Got them a special shed and I just finished the fences on the fields a couple days ago, so good timing, but I gotta head back into town to pick up some more supplies and that. If anyone has any fruit and veggies or pig feed or straw or - I mean, anything that you wanna donate to the rescue pig extravaganza, lemme know.
( A thumbs up; she is so excited. Pigs!!! ) And I need help coming up with names, because they can't all be Hamlet or Francis Bacon.
no subject
( Though she pauses.... Dramatically. ) Maybe they'll come after us through our weaknesses. Destroy America by taking apart the vineyards and sugar cane.
this is the best kinda ridiculous how did this happen
Maybe it's the bad guys' next big plan of attack, ne? Make this America have to depend entirely on other countries for the imported sugar and wine and then cut off the trade routes and hold it all hostage.
I'm not sure but I approve completely
( She leans back slightly, points at the camera, and does the CLASSIC Donald Sutherland shriek from Invasion of the Body Snatchers. You know, this creepy thing. )
That one? Because man, that'd be some fucked up shit, a bunch of bloody ferns and sunflowers coming after us. I mean, we probably deserve it for being a bunch of dicks to the environment...
Oh, and not just sugar, mate. Without sugarcane we ain't got not molasses, or any of the sugarcane nonsense what goes into making rum. No one wants to live in a country without rum. It'd be a bloody nightmare. And they'd be able to get any pirates on side because we'd have no rum to buy back their love. All that gold and booty'd go to the enemy.
( Sarissa what??? are you even??? pirates??? )
no subject
And I think rum wouldn't be as big of a problem as there being no beer or tobacco. My Papa would start shooting everyone if he had to live without beer, and his cigarettes! [ spoiler: his papa already shoots everyone all the time, including him. but whatevs that's not the point--] It'd be like the prohibition except worse because it was just illegal then but it could still be made.
[ a pause. ] People would probably figure out how to work around no plants though, because moonshine is like ninety-nine percent random stuff that I'm pretty sure don't involve plants most of the time.
no subject
Right. ( Her voice is a little tight, for a second, even if she's smiling. )
Hopefully there'd be no one gettin' shot by anyone, dads or otherwise. Unless the pirates turn up with their flintlock pistols, or something. Besides, I think you're underestimating how important wine is - my sister'd probably plot the downfall of mankind, if there wasn't any wine for her to get at.
no subject
I would be upset if there was no ice cream, but my twin would probably help your sister if there was no coffee.
no subject
no subject
[ yes, he modified a roomba to be a freezer for all his and agito's iced snacks. it was a great idea at the time.
...still is, too. ]
Do they still make flintlock pistols?
no subject
( ICEBOT? Tell her more, small friend. )
Uh, I mean, probably. History nerds probably still dig 'em.
( Sarissa would also still dig them, let's be real. )
no subject
I think nerds in general and gun enthusiasts would still want them, ne?
no subject
( And a pause. )
For a second I was thinking the gun enthusiasts would like the icebot, and I was thinking, shit, who am I to question what a bloody gun enthusiast wants?
no subject
[ a muffled giggle. ]
I would question a gun enthusiast more if they didn't want an ice cream dispensary!