008. video.

[magnitudes]

G'day g'day, this is Sarissa Theron, local hero and devastatingly good looking rural.

( She seems in a better mood than last time she posted, and better form - and sure, she is, but it's also Sarissa trying very very ahrd to be Okay, and definitely not actually being Okay. Still, there's a healthy flush to her cheeks, and unlike last time she's got a smear of mud on her cheek and is looking like she's been working outside. Wherever she is, she's definitely in a field, and there's a shed nearby. )

I know, two posts from me, in one month? Overkill, definitely. But this is so important. Or, should I say,

( and she grins, brightly, before turning the camera... ) sow important?

( Yes, viewers. In-frame is a very large sow, pink with black patches. Around her are nine little piglets, varied from all pink to speckled to covered in patches, and one that is totally black. )

I just rescued these guys from a bit of a situation. Got them a special shed and I just finished the fences on the fields a couple days ago, so good timing, but I gotta head back into town to pick up some more supplies and that. If anyone has any fruit and veggies or pig feed or straw or - I mean, anything that you wanna donate to the rescue pig extravaganza, lemme know.

( A thumbs up; she is so excited. Pigs!!! ) And I need help coming up with names, because they can't all be Hamlet or Francis Bacon.

Comments

[helpline]

[ awesome ]

Mind if I pay said tiger a visit sometimes? I've got housecat down pat, but I think my tiger dialect's far too rusty.

[oddbod]

That's her nickname for Cosima. She's asking if Cosima needs to be jealous. Which, for the record, she doesn't.

[magnitudes]

Maybe I'm concerned for the feelings of an actual panthera tigris. They've gotten some bad shit from them rom coms of the eighteenth century. Jane Austen needs to be held accountable.

[helpline]

First the pasta bowl isn't endless, now it's not an actual tiger, I'm really getting disappointed by you and your friends, Clara.

[ and, well, Olive Garden. ]

[oddbod]

For the last time, you could easily just invent the endless pasta bowl yourself. You're asking too much of fake Italians.

[helpline]

[ There's a pause.

Another pause.

A loooonger pause.

And then the Doctor speaks, in a tone of utter horror. ]

It's not even real Italian?

[oddbod]

It was founded in Florida in the 1980s.

[Clara Oswald, crusher of dreams, looked this up online before they even went.]

[helpline]

Was it at least founded by Italians in Florida?

[ the Doctor's petty grudge against Olive Garden begins ]

[oddbod]

No, it was founded by some bloke who wanted to make money.

[helpline]

[ SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH ]

Next time we eat somewhere, we need to go somewhere that actually lives up to it's name.

[oddbod]

There's a place out near our house called Meat in a Box. Maybe we could try there.

[helpline]

That sounds like such a simple premise that I'm worried they've drastically messed it up already.

[oddbod]

I bet it actually comes in a bag.

[helpline]

You're jinxing it!

[oddbod]

What about a jar? It could come in a jar.

[helpline]

If I plug my ears, maybe I won't hear you jinxing the restaurant.

[oddbod]

If I jinx it enough, maybe they'll bring it out on a nice, big plate.

[helpline]

La la la, Clara is saying something but I can't hear her because I'm plugging my ears because she's a big jinx.

[ he says, as he definitely plugs his ears while recording this. ]