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[immigrantpunk]

ok so question

say you just got here

and everyones all oooohh ahhhhh superheroes and that's cool and all

but you're a) not a superhero and b) FUCKING RUSSIAN

like srsly my blood is at least part vodka thats how russian we're talking here

its kinda weird to drag me to a little room and say you want me to fight the soviets isn't it

like hey just go fight your own people because we say so and also you have powers now????

yeah ok thanks for fucking with my dna i guess WITHOUT MY PERMISSION

anyways none of that was actually a question, oops so here's one

any other russkies out there????? if not thats cool but plz don't look at me like i'm coming for your family

also how do you know if that file that tells you your power isnt bs because i'm looking at it like wtf who considers this a power, can't i have something cool like shooting lasers out of my eyes

maybe theres some mistake??? hahaha that'd mean they'd have to send me home tho right

good luck with that, im sure

ok im out, i have some kind of boat cruise to go to

DOSVEDANYA BITCHES

Comments

[hackitude]

Idk, it could always be worse. There's a lady here who has the power to turn things leopard-print.

[immigrantpunk]

wow yeah i see your point

but why leopard print

[hackitude]

Hell if I know. You'd have to ask her.

[immigrantpunk]

if i knew who she was, i would

[hackitude]

Her name's Freddie Lounds and she's a gossip blogger.

[immigrantpunk]

shit no kidding, her name is on the door of my house

i thought she was a dude

[hackitude]

... Oops.

Well. I'm sure she's a... lovely housemate?

[immigrantpunk]

you don't sound sure

[hackitude]

I'm not fond of her for... personal reasons. But you should probably meet her and make your own judgement for yourself.

[immigrantpunk]

what kind of personal reasons

[hackitude]

... Don't ... you think you should meet her before I start biasing you against her?

[immigrantpunk]

this morning i woke up and had been kidnapped across time and space and told i have to fight a country that hasn't existed since i was 2

i don't even know which way is up anymore

i need all the insider info i can get

[hackitude]

well, ok. i tried.

she's a journalist who enjoys slandering Mr. G for stuff he didn't do. "journalistic integrity" doesn't seem to mean much to her.

[immigrantpunk]

oh shit no way

is mr. g the bait shop guy

what does she say he did

public -> priiiivaaatteee

[hackitude]

Yeah, that's him. He's... actually a pretty cool dude.

[And then the next message Skye sends through on a super encrypted lock.]

It's... not really my business to tell, but somehow I get the feeling that if I don't, you're just going to ask her yourself, aren't you?

priiiivaaatteee

[immigrantpunk]

he seems all right

kinda weird but nice, like that teacher whos crazy but everyone likes anyway, you know the kind i mean?

[Jayden is largely oblivious to such hacking, but rest assured he's so clueless he will never do anything to undo your work.]

all signs point to pretty much, yeah

private probs for the rest of this thread /o/

[hackitude]

That's pretty much him, yeah. He's not great at... being social? But he's a big dog person. It's actually pretty cute. Like, I'm pretty sure he's secretly running a shelter for abandoned dogs out of his residence.

Ok. So. From what I understand, back home he consults with the FBI as a criminal profiler. Only, I think he was getting too close to something... at least, that's how these things usually go.

private! \o\

[immigrantpunk]

yeah he seemed really into gunther, i wouldn't be surprised

wait that really happens

you just described about 20 movies or tv shows i've seen

[hackitude]

Yeah, well, it really happened. Because next thing you know, he's framed for the very murder cases he's investigating.

He was acquitted, btw. All charges dropped.

Also? Even without that, it doesn't take a profiler OR genius to realize that Mr. G doesn't fit the profile for a serial killer. Like at all.

[immigrantpunk]

wow that's intense

lemme guess and this lady still likes talking about him like he's guilty

[hackitude]

Got it in one.

[immigrantpunk]

god journalists suck

[hackitude]

Look I'm not saying all of them are bad

Just. this one.

[immigrantpunk]

the media in general is pretty bad

watch the news, everyone lies.... at least where i'm from

not sure it's any better in shitty soviet world

[hackitude]

So jaded already

Wait who am I kidding

I was totally already jaded at 17 too