1 | Text

[immigrantpunk]

ok so question

say you just got here

and everyones all oooohh ahhhhh superheroes and that's cool and all

but you're a) not a superhero and b) FUCKING RUSSIAN

like srsly my blood is at least part vodka thats how russian we're talking here

its kinda weird to drag me to a little room and say you want me to fight the soviets isn't it

like hey just go fight your own people because we say so and also you have powers now????

yeah ok thanks for fucking with my dna i guess WITHOUT MY PERMISSION

anyways none of that was actually a question, oops so here's one

any other russkies out there????? if not thats cool but plz don't look at me like i'm coming for your family

also how do you know if that file that tells you your power isnt bs because i'm looking at it like wtf who considers this a power, can't i have something cool like shooting lasers out of my eyes

maybe theres some mistake??? hahaha that'd mean they'd have to send me home tho right

good luck with that, im sure

ok im out, i have some kind of boat cruise to go to

DOSVEDANYA BITCHES

Comments

permavid

[centurybaby]

What did you get, the ability to make toast appear out of thin fucking air or something?

permatext

[immigrantpunk]

i WISH. that would actually be useful, i'd never have to make breakfast again

[Text]

[celestialpervert]

I wouldn't take any of that personally. The folks in charge aren't all that bright.

[Text] - SUP HOUSEMATE

[immigrantpunk]

yeah i'm noticing that

glad i'm not the only one to think so

Text

[purgation]

Ты взял неудачный старт.

[Translation: You're off to a bad start.]

Text

[immigrantpunk]

Я просто сказать как я чувствовать

[I'm just saying how I feel. Then, in English:]

hi again btw

video

[viced]

I didn't think being Russian and being Soviet were mutually exclusive terms.

permatext

[immigrantpunk]

ok let me give you some russian history according to where i'm from

im not the best at explaining this but here's the idea

so russia was russia for like a billion years and they were under some dude called the tsar, he's the king of russia

but it was the usual shit you get with royalty, all the rich people had everything and everyone else had nothing

so a bunch of people were like fuck that and there was this uprising and eventually they murdered the tsar and his whole family because russians don't do things half-assed, after that it was the soviet union where no one could own anything because it was supposed to be equal

except it wasn't equal because people are shit and corrupt and we kinda ended up back where we started except worse maybe

so idk what you mean exactly, russians became soviets because they had to, its like saying every british colonist became an american after we won the war, even tho maybe some of them were like, hey england isn't so bad

maybe its easier to go along than risk what'll happen if you don't, you know?

[hostage]

Most of us here don't give a damn about the russians it's just the natives who are all paranoid about that shit

You got a lameass power too?

[immigrantpunk]

ok that's good to know at least

you mean your "power" is also useless?

[earnedmystripes]

most of us dont really care about their stupid war

and they dont care if youre russian youre still from a different universe so to them its different russian than their russians

what power did you get

[...someone's feeling nosy.]

[immigrantpunk]

tell that to the dude selling newspapers giving me the stink eye because i was speaking russian in public

[And someone's evading that question.]

permatext

[mmiab]

*Something cool like summoning hats out of mid air

there you are I fixed it for you

permatext

[immigrantpunk]

its supposed to be for fighting bad guys not putting on a fashion show

[aggressiveapathy]

so we have to fight now
is what i'm getting

[immigrantpunk]

why

you think i'm a spy?

text;

[infomodder]

You might be surprised what they hand out here. I can fix broken cups. Teacups, wine glasses, coffee mugs, pretty much all of it. My house's shelf life shot up drastically when I got here.

[Shelf life.

Shelf life.

It begins.]

text;

[immigrantpunk]

wow so if the terrorists come in smashing china you are covered huh

sorry i mean the soviets

text.

[selfequipped]

Yeah, but what are your thoughts on Anastasia?

The movie with the annoying evil bat, not the historical figure.

text.

[immigrantpunk]

oh god don't remind me

i mean its cute for kids but its lying to them about what really happened

[culver]

They can't make you fight if you don't want to. It is a choice, even if a loaded one.

[immigrantpunk]

yeah but has anyone said no? what's happened to them if they do?

[hackitude]

Idk, it could always be worse. There's a lady here who has the power to turn things leopard-print.

[immigrantpunk]

wow yeah i see your point

but why leopard print

[transuniversal]

Not all powers come from genetic manipulation. It could just be more vodka.

[immigrantpunk]

shit why didn't i think of that

it all makes sense now

text

[highhealplz]

lasesr ouyt o f eyes isnt' THAT cool, how wouly ou see??

[ ps one of your roommates is really really bad with texting, but it DOESN'T STOP HIM FROM TRYING ]

text

[immigrantpunk]

whoa bro spellcheck is your friend

[DON'T WORRY Jayden will help!!]