001 - Video

[affluenza]

[Dandy looks very enthusiastic about this whole situation. Both because he got some pretty great powers, and because he got his own TV show.]

Hi everybody! [He waves.] This little device sure is nifty. We don't have anything like it where I'm from.

My name's Dandy Mott, and whoever's in charge of this place clearly recognizes talent because they gave me my own TV show without even making me audition for it or anything. I'll be signing autographs backstage, if you're interested.

Also, just a survey: how many clowns would you put in your ideal TV show? Ten? Twenty? More? I don't want to go overboard.

Comments

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[helpline]

[ look, somebody's gotta say it. ]

Zero. Zero clowns is the ideal amount of clowns.

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[affluenza]

[Zero?? Now, that's a really boring amount of clowns. Who'd want that?

Obviously this guy must be joking. Dandy laughs.]

That's funny! You'd make a good clown with jokes like that.

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[ghoulking]

A TV show about what?

[ Video ]

[affluenza]

It's a kids' show, so probably something that's both entertaining and educational. How to deal with bullies, how to manage your trust fund, all the good stuff.

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[reek]

Why would you need so many jesters? One is usually unfunny enough.

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[affluenza]

Not if you choose a funny one.

I'll be auditioning the clowns, of course. Not everyone radiates natural talent like I do.

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[h2no]

What's the show? America's Next Top Clown? Ya could make a good season outta 20, I suppose...

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[affluenza]

That'd be a great show! But no, it's a kids' show about whatever I want. I figure we'll show some cartoons, teach some valuable lessons, and give the kids the quality clown content they want.

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[iamtetsuo]

How about none!

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[affluenza]

Why would you want none?

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[23wishes]

I always thought clowns were kind of scary...

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[affluenza]

Sometimes things that seem scary are actually nice.

[...And sometimes things that seem nice are actually scary. Case in point: Dandy Mott.]

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[idesof]

[Wow he looks like 2 people March knows so of course March doesn't even notice.]

As many as can fit in a clown car!

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[affluenza]

I think that's technically infinite clowns.

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[slightlyoffchilt]

Fifty-two clowns. One for every week in a year.

voice;

[affluenza]

Huh, that is a good number. I could do a clown-of-the-week.

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

I'm with the Doctor on this one, my ideal TV show has no clowns whatsoever.

[affluenza]

Then who'd make you laugh?

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[jojoceanman]

Why clowns in the first place?

text

[affluenza]

They're funny.

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[dumbfound]

What kind of clowns?

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[affluenza]

All different kinds. Auguste clowns, whiteface clowns, hobo clowns, jesters, harlequins...

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[divaricate]

[This guy certainly doesn't look too upset about being pulled from wherever he's from and brought here; actually, he seems really into it so far. She can't help but offer a small smile at his enthusiastic demeanor.]

Hi, I'm Wanda Maximoff. [She introduces herself to him, first off.] What kind of show are we talking about -- aside from 'one with clowns' -- because that might sway my answer here.

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[affluenza]

[He's just happy to be somewhere fun, really. He had a nice mansion back home, but even a mansion gets pretty dull when you're almost never allowed to leave.]

It's a kids' show, but I think it'll be fun for everyone. Maybe a variety show with a lot of different sketches.

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[musclemothers]

I don't see why you'd want clowns. What, do you have a clown fetish or something?

[ Someone had to say it. ]

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[affluenza]

You can like clowns without having a fetish.

[His real fetish is people with two heads. Needless to say, he has very few options there.]

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[catchallthecats]

...I think more than one, but beyond that I suppose it would depend on how many skilled clowns you were to find?

Back home, most jesters weren't terribly entertaining. Some of them were definitely better in pairs, that might hold true here. [A faint shrug because really it's not like she'd watch the show anyways? She has more important murderchild things to do.]

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[affluenza]

I agree, they're better in pairs. A shame you've been stuck with so many unfunny jesters.

[Oh Arya there's time for both murder AND clowns, Dandy knows this well.]

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[callhousekeeping]

[Countess has never clutched a screen closer in her life. It's like she's studying everything she can see, like she longs to reach through the glass itself and pull him out of it.

Her fingers are visible. Twitching. She's wearing gloves.]

They'll give anyone a show here. [Seriously. They gave her one.] You should be in movies.

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[affluenza]

I know I should. But, everyone has to start somewhere, even a Mott.

[Well. Motts usually started from the very top, but he's just happy to be performing in front of an actual audience and not a fake audience made up of stuffed toys.]