video; sleep no more eyyyyy I'm not funny

[helpline]

First of all, I hate to say this but Calendar Man's ported out. He didn't show up for work, so I did a bit of prowling around [ aka breaking and entering ] and he's not asleep either.

[ But that involves dealing with feelings and acknowledging friends leave and while the Doctor's trying his hardest to get better at that, he still has some issues. Let's not deal with feelings by talking about things instead. There's a chalkboard behind the Doctor and he writes out what he's saying as he talks through his theory. ]

Speaking of the sleeping thing, a proposition: I think I know who caused this.

All those who are sleeping are stuck on the inside of a dream. Now that narrows down our playing field already. This isn't tech based, this isn't tailored to biology—thanks for confirming that suspicion by the way, Haen, points for you. This is an imPort power, plain and simple, and it's probably one of those more stupid magical or esoteric powers.

The dreamers are having a shared dream, an alternate universe with a point of divergence at February 2016, when the Russians attempted to occupy the Porter cities. No word on the state of eyepatches in this alternate universe but it does mean that this imPort was there. Some of the details of the dream that people've told me cement that the likelihood that whoever caused this was probably around back then. After all, Wikipedia's great for bare bones but it's no substitute for lived experience. Whoever this is, they're certainly powerful and they've been here a while.

Huh, you might say, this whole shared consciousness thing sounds pretty familiar, doesn't it Doctor? Well random imPort, you're correct! There was that business with the memories back in October, which is a little bit this on a smaller scale. There was an alleyway that somehow triggered an involuntary sharing of memories. After all, if someone can reach into our heads to pull out a memory, they can certainly reach into our heads to pull us into a dream—trust me, that's easy, I've got weird Time Lord powers, I know.

Most importantly, that was the same sort of aggravatingly anti-tech as this problem is. [ There's a pause, while the Doctor stops writing on the chalkboard and, with his other not-chalky hand, pulls out the sonic screwdriver from his pocket. ] Plus? I've been getting some of the same weird readings from people in the dream that I got from the memory whatever. Getting the same nonsense twice is odd, which means it's probably not nonsense.

Also? [ and in a very bad imitation of a gameshow host, the Doctor continues with, ] Billy Kaplan, come on down! A little bird told me that you might not know precisely who caused this mess, but you'll know how to fix this. Can't say much more than that, birds are horrible conversationalists and I'm a little bit rusty on my sparrow. [ This is 100% the Doctor mixing metaphors with actual truth mixed with nonsense. Raina straight up tattled, thanks girl, you're the best. Having finished writing things on the chalkboard, the Doctor turns to the camera with a grin. Thankfully, he's tl;dred this and the points he's reading are written on the board in chalk. ]

Tl dr! [ And yes, he said out the letters 't', 'l', 'd', and 'r' like a goddamn grandpa who just learned to text-speak ] Point one, very powerful with powers that are good for mucking with your head. Point two, the Russian occupation. Point three, a repeat offender. Point four, Billy Kalpan. Put them all together and that reveals our culprit to be.....

[ cue a very anticlimactic shrug. ]

Somebody! I know who it is, I just don't know the name. There's a lot of us, after all, I don't know every imPort. Give me some names, let's figure this nonsense out, we've got people's boyfriends to wake up! [ There's a pause, before, ]

Also, it's not Crane. Or Julian, obviously, what with the whole being Ported out thing. We can cross those two off the list. Likewise, if you can help me piece together how fire birds work into this, I'd appreciate it. The little bird was a bit vague on that part.

Comments

video

[restingstitchface]

[Crane does an admirable job of not looking completely hassled. he is calm, polite, gracious.]

Thank you for your outstanding vote of confidence.

[Bitch you better not bug him more now Julian's gone.]

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[helpline]

[ so a lunch date every Tuesday. Got it, hope you're ready for that Crane. ]

You're welcome! [ said with a grin as he completely misinterprets the sarcasm ] You're a convenient scapegoat so I'm pretty sure someone's already thinking you did this--which is a bit silly, isn't it?

[restingstitchface]

[This means war!]

I wouldn't call it smart. [He says dully.] Anyway. I do not care whether people believe me guilty or not, but my business hardly requieres secrecy. There is no scientific data on offer. You are going to name the culprit, I trust?

video;

[112ounces]

God, a dream? It felt so real. More real than an actual dream, anyway.

[ He's so tired, he wants to sleep, but he doesn't want to go to Soviet America again, it sucked and he known true suckage. ]

video;

[helpline]

That's the thing about dreams, you feel they're real when you're in one. They especially feel real when they're caused by magic, technology, powers, or space crabs.

[ there's a story about that last one. ]

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[affluenza]

If you find out who did it, let me know. I'll frown at them. That'll show 'em.

[And by 'frown at' he means 'threaten'. He doesn't really like other people messing with his head without permission, even if it ends in cool murder dreams.]

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[helpline]

[ And the Doctor assumes 'frown at' = 'actually frown at' ]

Thank you! There's nothing wrong with a good frown, especially if you've got a good glower to pull it off.

( video )

[jeaniegrey]

Do you think the people who were affected by it were targeted specifically or are there simply those who have a better resistance to it than others?

[ Because she wasn't one of the sleepy dreamers stuck in their shared nightmare. ]

( video )

[helpline]

My money's on better resistance or simply just fallen through the cracks. After all, there's what, over a hundred of us? Even the strongest telepath would have a hard time putting a hundred different minds in one shared dream.

[ said absolutely unaware that he's speaking to a strong telepath. ]

VIDEO.

[accelerate]

[ barry squints. this is a lot of information to take in, but he processes it as quickly as it comes nonetheless. he'd been asleep, and he remembers it all vividly, the complacency to do nothing, to not put on his cape and cowl and help save the city. it's not something he ever wants to experience ever again, let alone think on. but the doctor goes around in circles and barry follows diligently, until one thing stands out like a sore thumb to him. ]

Time Lord ...?

[ yep, that's what barry's going to get out of all of this. ]

VIDEO.

[helpline]

That's the part you choose to focus on? [ he's not judging, he's just judging. ] Yeah, Time Lord, that's what I am.

VIDEO.

[specialise]

[ give raven a moment, she's trying to figure out what the hell he's even saying. ]

[ it makes sense, if she applies it to what she's already experienced — sharing an alternate reality with the people after they've taken a chip to erase their pain sounds awfully similar to this. she doesn't quite know how to break them out of their slumber, though. as far as she knows, no one's digested anything like they did back home, and there's no lady in red here. she's got nothing. ]

[ but that doesn't mean she's not going to try. ]

Were you asleep?

VIDEO.

[helpline]

Nah, I was just peeking in on people who were asleep. What about you?

[inmyothertights]

Uhhhhh.

What?

[helpline]

Surprise!

[ this is not helping in the slightest ]

video;

[doubleblind]

It's 100% magical? You're sure?

video;

[helpline]

I wouldn't bet the entire farm on it but I'd bet most of the farm.

[ aka he's pretty sure ]

video; private

[earnedmystripes]

[Because he doesn't necessarily want to risk making this accusation publicly, unless he's more sure. But he gave Yuri the benefit of the doubt until it slapped him in the face, and he already knows Kavinsky has a checkered past.]

I...know someone who's got dream-related powers. But far as I know, it only has to do with taking stuff out of dreams, not putting things...or people, I guess, in. He was definitely around for the invasion last year, though...

[He scratches at his beard.]

I guess the Porter could've given him an upgrade sometime, maybe. I don't see him as much anymore, these days.

video; private

[helpline]

Why wouldn't it be? Putting things in something is easier than taking things out. It's like jam.

[ that explanation makes absolutely no sense, Doctor. ]

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[sideless]

What the hell is a Calendar Man.

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[helpline]

My bff!

video;

[itistolaugh]

[Okay but who gives a shit about sleep conspiracies when a shoeless man has gone AWOL.]

Honestly, the Porter is so rude. Me an' Julie had plans, now I've got a whole schedule to rearrange.

[Not that she'd told Julian about any of it. Harley doesn't make plans with other people, she happens to other people.]

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[helpline]

Well what where the plans? I'm certain I can take over Julian's role in some of them, if you want. I'm good at scowling and being grumpy and being creepy about dates.

[ it doesn't occur to the Doctor that him and Harley would probably be an even more worrying combination than Julian and Harley. ]

text; (cw c-word)

[pillz]

sounds like a cunt

permavid!

[helpline]

Language!