THE MAJORITY REPORT: MAY 10TH, 2017

[maskormods]

THE MAJORITY REPORT: MAY 10TH, 2017With this new influx of imPorts and the fallout of the mysterious dreamscape, public opinion has never been so mixed. On one hand: intrigue! New imPorts! On the other: potentially dangerous new imPorts! New threats!

HOSTAGE MEDICATION
As seen on TMI reporting, online and televised:
Hostage situation at a new Customer Savings Solutions Pharmacy in Heropa! Male suspect captured twenty people waiting in line for their medications, threatening to repeal their need for health care.

Strangely, no hostage was harmed and the situation was resolved in mere minutes.

Two female vigilantes are rumored to have broken down and brutally humiliated a male suspect (Caucasian, 5'11''). Confirmed details remain scarce. These vigilantes are reported to have been Amazon warriors from another planet, very likely imPorts.

TYGER, TYGER VIRAL BRIGHT
As seen on BlueTube, Bwitter, Rumblr, Deddit, and some local news networks and small papers in Heropa:
A cellphone video of a chase between imPort superhero Wild Tiger and what appeared to be a repainted ImPocreat has now gone viral, after being featured on a popular imPort fanblogger's recent post. The video, following the escaped Blickablake (eventually identified as belonging to Nonah-based imPort Tetsuo Shima) and its valiant pursuer all through the city, has spawned dozens of gifs and macros, with the hashtag #tigervstiger trending on Bwitter.

Many imPort fans were endeared by the bumbling antics of the superhero known for never using his powers outside of an emergency, but some were less than impressed. Deddit user DownWithImPunks said, "lol look @ dis sad sh!t, our ~heroes~ outsmrted by a machin w/ no brainz. feel rly safe 2day", while others argued the real problem was with Tetsuo for allowing his ImPocreat to run wild in the first place. "It's government property after all," pointed out one noted import critic in his column in a local newspaper, "we can't have that kind of thing falling into the wrong hands. Irresponsibility in this case is a matter of national security."

Meanwhile, BuckStars, the origin point of the chase, has capitalized on the buzz--offering a limited edition Wild Blickablake Bubble Tea free with any purchase of a large drink* and posting a link to the clip on their official website.

*while supplies last

NATURAL CAUSE AND EFFECT
As seen on BlueTube and limited local newspaper coverage:
Police in Maurtia Falls have reported the death of Sally Cunliffe, 68. A respected local business owner, Ms. Sally Cunliffe reportedly transferred a large sum of money from her account just prior to her death. The official coroner report indicates that her death was due to a heart attack. Police are not treating the death as suspicious. That being said, authorities would like the recipient of Ms. Cunliffe's funds to come forward to answer a few routine questions, as they have so far been unable to trace them.

WELL PLAYED, YOUNG SPORT
As seen on BlueTube and in Nonah newspapers:
We're midway through this year's national youth soccer championships, and in a surprising turn of events, Nonah Middle School's very own Blue Barracudas are shaping up to be the team to beat!

Although they had a slow start at the beginning of the season, with the majority of the players' performances being described as lackluster, a marked improvement in their playing — believed to be the result of midfielder Yuuto Kidou's expert instruction — has rocketed the team into the front running.

The departure of two key players, co-captain and midfielder Ken Amada and defender Hiroto Kiyama, will no doubt have a monumental impact on the team's range of capabilities going forward, but coach Peyton Chamgerlain has stated that she believes their new lineup will be pivotal in crushing their competition. The Barracudas have elected Yuuto to be their new captain, and with Koujirou Genda rumored to be an unrivaled goalkeeper, and newcomer Jirou Sakuma being welcomed late onto the team as their primary striker, it would seem Chamgerlain has managed to successfully cover for the team's losses, and in record time to boot!

The Blue Barracudas' next match against the Astro Hawks will be held next Friday afternoon. Show your support for these fine youth athletes by sporting the Barracudas' blue and white colors, coming down to Nonah Middle School to watch the game, or by tuning in on BlueTube to watch live coverage brought to you by Nonah Middle School's student body president, Joseph Lee.

bElieve
As seen on Maurtia Falls televised news:
Upon the tallest hill in the city of Maurtia Falls sits a new art installment on the sidewalk. It seems that the guerrilla artiste bElish has struck again! A four foot tall bust made in the likeness of Ambassador Baelish and composed entirely out of synthetic honeycomb has been left on display on top a five-foot tall white podium.

What is the meaning behind this, the public wonders.

CODE SWITCH
The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from INDIGO-GO to SILVER AGE because this is an era of second best.

WANT TO SUBMIT TO THE MAJORITY REPORT?
The Majority Report comes out the 10th and 20th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th and the 19th for the corresponding dates.

Comments

[oceanthief]

Don't show up too early to the soccer game, they never start on time.

[SHE'S LEARNED HER LESSON ON THAT FRONT]

[substrategist]

Do you hear yourself? You showed up way too early, so of course no one was there! Class was still in session!

[oceanthief]

You didn't really look like you were doing anything important.

[she's challenging the idea that this wasn't just Sakuma getting confused, because honestly that classroom was just a shitshow.]

[tacticianing]

Each one of our games has so far.

[oceanthief]

I don't think you were even there for the one I went to.

[who's going to explain to Lapis the difference between practice and regulation games.........]

[23wishes]

Well... at least Fubuki was found. Hopefully Tetsuo doesn't get into TOO much trouble for this. He doesn't need that much on his plate right now.

[A little trouble is fine, though, since he's pretty dumb and still needs to learn a lesson.]

[deadtective]

He sure as fuck does. I still can't believe that he fucking reamed my ass for letting that stupid thing get hit by a truck and then fucking loses it himself.

[WHO'S PETTY AND BITTER NOT HAZEL]

[iamtetsuo]

i didnt lose her

[substrategist]

Fubuki?

[Now there's a name he wasn't expecting to see. Especially attached to a tiger-themed imPocreate.]

Why was it named that?

[Because it seems better suited to a wolf if you ask him.]

[iamtetsuo]

dont you know what a blickablake is?

[sleight_of_hand]

That tiger video is some serious second-hand embarrassment...

id: wild tiger

[earnedmystripes]

look it was a slippery bastard ok!!! you try catching something thats as fast as a car and can jump roof height in one go

:(

[sleight_of_hand]

I wouldn't.

Because I would know when I was out of my league and call for backup.

video

[couldbebeautiful]

Amazons from another planet?

[Veronica does not actually look like an Amazon from another planet. Rather she looks more like a part-time clerk at a shop that sells stylishly retro clothes who's on her break.]

And we didn't brutally humiliate him, just scared him a little.

video; private

[andtherevolution]

Uh, are you sure we should be talking about it like this? I know we didn't really do anything, but I don't want to be known as the Renegade Amazon from Outer Space, either.

[Don't mind her. Keeping the weird shit in her life secret is an ingrained habit at this point.]

video; private

[couldbebeautiful]

The closest thing I've ever come to outer space is having roommates from another galaxy. [A second's pause. Yep, that still sounds completely bizarre even to Veronica herself.]

But hey, if it keeps the paparazzi off our backs, I'm completely okay with my alter ego being a renegade alien Amazon. [A small smile.] And I won't say anything about my fellow Amazon.

[Video; Private]

[pale_blue_arrow]

Damn, remind me to never get on your bad side.

If I asked what you did, would you see it as encouraging that kinda thing? Because, well, it is, but you really should probably not get into fights without backup. Always bring your- [he struggles visibly not to smile, but it's hard] your fellow Amazon from outer space. [Nope, even he's not so jaded he won't smile at that. Damnit. He folds his hands and rests his chin on them to try to hide it.]

Least this answers my questions about the reliability of the papers here.

[Video; Private]

[couldbebeautiful]

It wasn't even a fight, all we did was fake a haunting. I don't know how it went from "fake ghosts" to "alien Amazons".

[But, welp, dammit, Veronica can't not snicker at that either. She shakes her head in disbelief.]

I promise, the next time I'm asked to help break up a hostage situation, I'll call in my fellow Amazons for back-up. I'm not looking forward to dying. [Which is the biggest lie that Veronica's told him, so far.]

[text]

[hellrisen02]

Do people often randomly die of heart attacks around here, just after sending their life savings into the void?

Video

[bindsthedead]

Perhaps I should speak with Mrs. Cunliffe. Transferring all her money shortly before dying seems odd, no matter how she died.

Video

[stretchy_girl]

I think you should let the dead rest in peace and not bother them with questions.

Video; Would it step on any plotting toes if she went through with it?

[bindsthedead]

If she died unnaturally, she'll probably linger for a while.

[Sorry, random person, you need to actually have some tie to death and the afterlife for Sabriel to care about your views on this enough to not do it.]

Video

[thevictoriandetective]

[Sherlock is ecstatic.]

A suspicious death! Wonderful! Is it my birthday!?

[acclimatized]

It's the large sum of money thing, right?

[thevictoriandetective]

[Look at John making deductions. They do grow up so fast, don't they?]

Exactly! It can't be a coincidence. The universe is rarely so lazy. Unlike the police.