video;

[chulk]

[The first view is of a very big and green Hulk squinting at the camera.]

Whoever designed these things needs to be fired. I can barely press anything like this.

[He pulls the communicator away from him and he visibly shrinks down to the form of a skinny Asian teenager.]

Do you know how much less awesome it is when you have to dehulk just to pick up the phone? How am I supposed to show the bad guys that they don't deserve my full attention if I can't call someone while punching them! They're clearly not thinking about their target demographic here.

And I know what some of you are thinking, 'why don't you do it yourself?'. To which I say do I really have to do everything round here? I had a pretty sweet gig back on my Earth being the most popular Hulk ever and now I gotta start from scratch on top of this crappy phone.

Speaking of which, why am I a counsellor on anger management? Bruce is the expert on that. I don't even know any zen techniques!

Comments

video;

[picksthenames]

[ Okay, that's... interesting. ]

I could probably build you a new phone. One that's [ what did he call it? ] "Hulk" worthy.

[chulk]

Dude, don't insult me! I could do that in my sleep. My point is that I shouldn't have to.

[picksthenames]

Sorry they didn't anticipate your Hulking powers. The whole Porter thing seems kind of random, anyway.

video

[divaricate]

[He's saying some stuff familiar to her ... Hulk, Bruce... but she does not know this other Hulk? Oh, hi.]

Well, the good news is, you can change your job pretty easily, at least.

[She can't really help with the first problem.]

[chulk]

Are people more likely to hire teenagers here or something?

[He technically could strike out on his own and start his own, but he's never built one up from scratch. The Olympus group was foisted on him.]

[video]

[couldbebeautiful]

Bad news: Yes, you're expected to do everything around here.

[Veronica's propped the comm up on a table in a café somewhere in De Chima, and maybe the first thing Amadeus might notice about her is just how old-fashioned her clothes are. In deference to the season, she's rolled the sleeves up, and now she's sipping on a cold glass of strawberry-flavored goodness.]

Worse news: Whoever's assigning jobs has a terrible sense of humor. But hey, the good news is that you can change jobs. Or just straight up quit. Nobody's stopping you.

[chulk]

You kind of need money to buy things. Food for one and I don't think you care about clothes that much, but I go through a lot even when I'm careful.

[He's more curious how she managed to find her attire when even thrift stores might balk at it.]

[couldbebeautiful]

So either change jobs and find something that suits you better—or just make up your own business, I know someone who did—or stick with this one. [A huff.] And this is going to sound weird to you, but believe it or not, this was in fashion on my world.

[ Video ]

[ghoulking]

Being popular is a thing that happens to all imPorts, so at least you won't have to work very hard to become popular again.

[chulk]

We can't all be popular and I'm not aiming to be a minor celebrity. I'm reaching higher than that.

[ghoulking]

I wish that was true, but No imPort is a minor celebrity. We are all called heroes, we have fan groups, the media won't leave us alone. We have conventions just for all of us.

Text

[d33tached]

[Okay. Just one question:]

What is a "hulk"?

[chulk]

That would be me when I'm big and green.

Video

[liverletdie]

[ Jesus Fuck Amadeus. ]

Are you really trying to get someone to improve your accessibility options when you can do that on your own in your sleep?

[chulk]

I can complain about bad product development and do better at the same time, Stark.

[Amadeus is probably never going to be okay with him.]

[slightlyoffchilt]

"Most popular Hulk". How low is that bar, though, all things considered?

[chulk]

Everyone likes She-Hulk. I think it's because she lawyers like that too.

video

[khajidont]

They have voice recognition. capabilities too. It's mostly for illiterate imPorts, as far as I can tell, but I think it'd do the trick in your case too.

I'm pretty sure you'll be the most popular Hulk here anyway, though, on account of being the only Hulk here.

[chulk]

It doesn't have the same effect if I'm not holding it. It's all about image, you know?

video

[jojoceanman]

Sounds like you have a really tough life.

[firstworldhulkproblems??]

[chulk]

[More like first world billionaire hulk problems.]

Hey, I'm a teenager everything's a drama to us.

VIDEO.

[bragnificent]

Dude, just get a headset-- or, you know, fake it. Those bluetooth things are always tiny anyway.

[ Also... this is maybe the coolest thing he's ever seen, nbd. ]

But that is so cool. Can you just do that whenever you want?

[chulk]

[Amadeus grins at him, eager to show off.]

Yep. Although I try not to do it when I'm wearing a shirt I really like.

video;

[notyourfathersosborn]

[Sorry Amadeus, Normie's a little concerned there's a Hulk running around, even if this one seems less "smash"-y then the one he's used to.]

....There's a universe with more than one Hulk?

[chulk]

Well yeah. The multiverse is a big place. There's only one in yours?