maskormenace | Super-mysterious anonymous text!

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Super-mysterious anonymous text!

Soooooooo hypothetical question for y'all

What are your thoughts on secret identities??

I mean, we're all pretty recognizable here just because we're imPorts, yeah? If you don't really have the whole 'mild-mannered civilian' thing going for you anymore, and everyone knows that you have powers because of the imPort thing, is it worth the trouble to keep your secret identity and your regular joe identity separate?

AGAIN, I CANNOT STRESS HOW 100% HYPOTHETICAL THIS IS

consider this a thought exercise!!

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uhhh
one sec

[ and she switches to private! ]

the second one? Maybe?

so youre considering that you might consider it

I'm thinking about it, but I haven't made any decisions yet! That's why this whole thing is hypothetical!

well it might be better to get ahead of any competing attempts to reveal your identity
so that it can be done on your own terms
last year a friend of mine had his outed very publicly without his permission
but then he had still managed to maintain the mask for years before that so it probably isnt an especially pressing concern

has anyone already discovered your identity
or was this consideration begun without outside provocation

oh, no! I mean, not to brag, but I like to think that I'm pretty good at keeping it on the downlow!

[ Arrested Development Narrator Voice: "She wasn't." ]

It's more the... physical aspect of it that you mentioned? It's never bothered me before, but NGL, the thought of not having to keep up appearances is pretty appealing

Edited 2017-08-11 01:59 (UTC)

... and also, I don't like lying to people. I've been doing it for the right reasons, but I don't enjoy it. I might be good at the whole secret identity thing, but being good at lying isn't something to be proud of.

that probably would have been a consideration for me if id ever seriously trying one before
im a terrible liar so im sure it wouldnt last very long anyway
the one time i managed to keep a secret identity it had an ugly full-face mask and i was brainwashed to not even know i was doing it
its easier to keep secrets you arent even aware of i guess

so what sort of physical issues are you encountering
if you arent aware i run a support service for superheroes
my team may be able to find better solutions to the issue if you arent quite ready to shed the mask

ummmmm

one sec

[ Kanaya's a sweetheart, someone Doreen could definitely be friends with, and she's already met her while in costume. This should be fine, right? Doreen switches over to video, and says the next sentence in one long rush: ]

So I have a tail and it isn't actually part of the costume at all, and I've been kind of sticking it down the back of my pants whenever I'm not "at work" so to speak, and I've been doing that for most of my life except when I'm around family and close friends, but the thought of just doing that all the time is starting to sound appealing since the secret identity thing might not be such a big deal?

I didn't know you ran a support service! That's cool as heck!

[ Kanaya's initial surprise doesn't make it on camera, but once she switches over she has an eyebrow arched. ]

Oh, hey. Squirrel Girl. I'd wondered about that, but it didn't seem appropriate to ask.

Anyway, as an already successful fashion designer, I thought I'd get into superhero costumery as a sort of passion project. But, as clothes alone don't make the Spider-Man, I decided to hire Peter, in partnership with our friend Normie, to develop solutions on the equipment end.

I'll have to ask them if they have any ideas about your specific situation, but it sounds like it would be a bit tricky. I'm a bit surprised to manage to hide it as it is! But, failing that, I imagine Peter would have some insight into the issue you're experiencing.

Well, I've had about twenty years of practice, and it's mostly fluff, it isn't as hard to fit down there as you'd think. Plus, it makes me look like I have an A+ badonkadonk.

Oh man, you know, I didn't know who Peter was, at first? Jeez, feels weird calling him that. I thought he was just a dude rockin' some really well done Spider-Man cosplay!

Oh, I actually knew him as Peter first, so the whole Spider-Man thing was a bit of a surprise. Though it explained a lot in retrospect. Like the time he tried to convince me that Spider-Man was his brother, but I'd somehow never met his brother until years after Spider-Man arrived.

Oh my gosh, he went for the sibling gambit?! Has that ever worked? Ever, in the history of mankind? Nobody falls for the sibling gambit, somebody always goes 'hey, why haven't I seen you and your Spider-Sibling in the same place!"

[ Come on Doreen, you're making her feel stupid. ]

Well, I had seen him and his brother in the same place. So either one of them could have been Spider-Man. Actually, it's plausible that his brother may have been an entirely different Spider-Man.

... Wait, hold up, he actually has a brother?! I thought you meant he was like... putting on a wig or something, and then jumping out from behind a bush going "It's me, Billy Parker!"

[ Who does she think he is, Daredevil? ]

He really does! They look nearly identical, though Kaine is a bit bulkier and far gruffer. I didn't know him well enough to tell you too much about him, he wasn't the sort of person I really wanted to know very well.

[ Mike Murdock and Billy Parker could be best friends! ]

... Well, I mean, that's a pretty good cover story. If they looked pretty much identical, they could Parent Trap the whole secret identity thing!

Imagine if they had actually planned it, they could have introduced an entire third brother to be Spider-Man!

But, if Spider-Man had really been his brother, somehow I feel that Peter might not have let the rumors that the two of them were dating stand for as long as they did. There were a lot of little holes in it like that, but I suppose I just didn't think too hard about them, because I trusted both Peter and Spider-Man, at a time when I really needed to.

That trust always mattered more than any actual identity, so it never felt like a betrayal when I found out the truth. Just a convenient and confusing consolidation.

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