[video]

[majorlyugh]

[As the video comes on, Major's leaning in a bit close, trying to get his comm to stand on its end, but the thing keeps sliding over at varying speeds. He sighs, eventually picking the thing up and holding it out with his arm extended.

He offers a shrug as an explanation.]

I'm - never sure if I'm supposed to like, greet people when I start one of these? Well, to be on the safe side ... hey! How are you? I'm doing all right, thanks.

Okay, now that's out of the way, I have two questions for the folks here. .. They are completely unrelated, but of sort of equal importance. [He's walking under some trees that are out-of-shot, but the sunlight pouring through the canopies are sun-dappling Major's face as he moves.]

One: I'm a millenial so I'm pretty good with technology, but - these things sort of elude me a little bit. Is there a way for me to like .. go anon on this thing? Or change my name? Or just use a different one entirely? Or do I have to use my actual name on the network?

Two: Does anyone know if there's a copy of Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark lying around? Could be a VHS, for all I care, so long as there's a VCR, too. But I'm not picky; could be anything, just as long as it's watchable!

If you're still listening, thanks! And if you have answers to my questions, I owe you a drink or something!

Comments

[lightinside]

[Laurel smiles when she gets the text, already close to the entrance of the porter. She did take some time to freshen up a bit before sending him a message back.]

okay, cool. I'll see you soon.

[Soon means like two minutes as Laurel comes into view at the porter entrance, noticing Major right away. She wastes no time in coming to greet him, offering him a bright smile.]

You made it! Hi.

[majorlyugh]

[Major's mentally running through his last drafts for his fantasy football league - which he's aching to get back into, if only he could figure out how (if it's a possibility at all) - when a woman's voice breaks through. It takes him a second to connect the blonde woman standing in front of him and the blonde woman he'd seen on the small screen moments earlier. Once he bridges the two together, he smiles warmly.]

I did! And with all of my limbs and, hopefully, my organs in the right places. Thanks for meeting me here.

[lightinside]

You're welcome.

[Gosh, he's even cuter in person. It's one of the many thoughts running through Laurel's head right now. Others include wondering about what she was going to order at the cafe - something different? Or just her regular order? Anyway. She was getting distracted.]

I couldn't have you being lost and deprived of caffeine. [A grin.] Are you ready to go?

[majorlyugh]

You know - [He places a hand over his chest, face donning an expression of being emotional and touched.] - That's just .. one of the nicest things .. anyone's ever said to me. You're just - Ah, crap. What's that expression the kids are using these days? A cinnamon roll? I broke character, but the sentiment's the same. I appreciate the concern for my caffeinated well-being. I get a little Hulk-y when I'm grumpy, so it's best if we avoid it.

[He nods, gesturing with his arm in front of him.] Totes McGotes, let's go!

[lightinside]

That isn't an expression I've heard and I thought I was pretty up to date with what the kids liked to say. [But okay. Laurel will take it as a compliment.] I guess I gotta 'roll' with it, right?

[It's said with a smile. Please don't hate her for that.]

And I definitely don't want you to Hulk out. So follow me.

[Laurel lead them to the cafe, pointing out a few key places for Major to check out when he had the time to.]

[majorlyugh]

I'm almost entirely out of touch, but I'm pretty sure I've heard that one before. [He blinks then lets out a burst of laughter at the pun, pointing at her.] Okay, that was a good one.

You ever see those Snickers commercials? Where they have like, Willem DaFoe dressed as a ballerina or something, and he's acting crazy, and then someone comes over and is like, "Eat this. You're not yourself when you're hungry." And then Willem DaFoe turns into a petite ballerina after eating the Snickers? That's .. basically me. I turn into Willem DaFoe, but not as cool and not as inherently terrifying.

[lightinside]

Thank you. [Laurel is very proud of her pun. Especially after his reaction.] I have my moments.

Oh, I've seen those commercials. I mean, a snickers wouldn't be my first choice if I was feeling hungry but I get what they're trying to sell. [Snickers, obviously. But in a humorous way.]

So you're trying to warn me in advance and look out for signs of you turning into Willem Dafoe? Got it. I mean, I don't know how terrifying he is in real life - I've met terrifying - you don't strike me as that.

You got the cool part down though.

[Laurel smiles before she points out the cafe up ahead.]

Here we are.

[majorlyugh]

Nah, me neither, but if I was starving, I wouldn't turn it down. I doubt there's much I wouldn't eat if I was hungry enough. [Like brains. Huh. Anyway.

He laughs a bit.] Yeah, basically. Maybe he's a really nice guy in real life, but .. I just think of him in like, The Boondock Saints, and he was kind of terrifying in that. But also pretty hilarious. [He offers a very casual shrug.] It .. uh, depends on my mood, I guess. How .. hungry I am, you know?

[He glances up at the facade of it and nods.] Ah, cool. [He reaches for the door, holding it open for her, before gesturing for her to enter first with his free hand.] After you.

[lightinside]

I know. I can relate. [As an ADA she was able to afford more substantial food, rather than living on a shoestring budget as a law student.]

Sometimes, I get a craving for fries and a milkshake from a place called Big Belly Burger; I dip the fries into the shake.

[Now she wanted to try and find a similar place here to satisfy that craving.]

Thanks. [Laurel gives him a grateful smile when he opens the door, stepping into the cafe. She waits for Major by the entrance, trying to see what tables were available.] Do you mind where we sit? It doesn't seem too busy right now.

[majorlyugh]

Oh, yeah! That's a great combo. You get the salty and the sweet, like with chocolate-covered pretzels or chocolate-covered potato chips. So good, right? [He follows in after her, pressing his palm to the door as it closes to keep it from slamming while glancing around at the space.] Nah, I'm not picky! Lady's choice.

[lightinside]

Soo good. [She agrees with enthusiasm.] Okay, just gimme a sec and I'll find us a seat.

[And off Laurel goes! Well, not super fast. Quick enough for her to find them the perfect spot and slow enough so Major could follow after her. It takes about two minutes before Laurel located a booth in the corner, away from the counter and any potential hubbub around them. She wanted them to have a decent conversation.]

[majorlyugh]

[Major isn't entirely sure he's supposed to stay at the door or follow her, but he eventually errs on the side of coming off "clingy" and follows her further and further back, until she lands on a booth in the corner. He glances around at the rest of the room before sliding himself into the booth on the opposite side of where she's sitting.]

Huh. Secluded and off to the side. You're not gonna try any funny business, are you? Get me drunk, make me tell you all my secrets?

[lightinside]

Damn it. You saw through my plan. Now what am I going to do? [She pretends to be annoyed, letting it play out for a few moments before Laurel can't help bursting into laughter.]

Guess I will have to settle for coffee and asking you questions in the normal way. I mean, if you're okay with that? Or I could always go through with my devious plan and get you drunk instead. Up to you.

[A smirk. She's teasing.]

[majorlyugh]

Figure out a different way to break into The Vault. [He taps his temple.] I don't make a habit of getting drunk, but I'm also not entirely against it ... so .. it's really up to you and whether you wanna deal with me when I'm more obnoxious than I already am.

[lightinside]

Okay. I'll figure something out. [Laurel sounds amused.] The thing is I don't think this place even serves alcohol and I'm not one for getting drunk either.

Coffee and pastries will be the only tools I need to break into The Vault. Maybe some charm thrown in for good measure.

[majorlyugh]

[He snaps his fingers.] How unfortunate. Obnoxious Drunken Major eludes us yet again.

Oh, you're so confident in your ability to break. That's interesting. What if I have a crazy Mind Palace like that guy in Sherlock? What then, Laurel? What then?

[lightinside]

Then I'll have to navigate my way around the crazy mind palace - I'm pretty stubborn and persistent. Which is why I am a good lawyer.

[She grins, still teasing him slightly.]

Which leads me into a question for you, Mr Not-so Obnoxious. What do you do for a living back home?

[majorlyugh]

Ah, you're a lawyer. Aren't you guys supposed to be like, heartless and soulless? [He keeps a straight face, but ends up laughing.] One of my best friends from home was a lawyer. A damn good one. She did need some empathy reminders sometimes.

Well .. I've had a few different jobs. I worked at a homeless shelter for teens for a long while, landed the job right out of college. Had to leave that due to .. uh, some circumstances outside of my control a few years ago. I've been a personal trainer since then. Actually I've been scouting out places to open a gym here. I found a place, finally .. gonna try to negotiate some terms and rent and all. My goal, if everything goes according to plan, is to open it up later in the month.

What kind of law did you practice? Hopefully not non-heartless kind.

[lightinside]

Before I became an ADA, I worked in a place called the City Necessary Resources Initiative, or CNRI for short. Basically a law firm for people who couldn't afford a lawyer or needed representation against a huge, money-grabbing corporation. I even took down a few criminals in my time there.

[Legally speaking. Not vigilante style like she sometimes does now.]

Unfortunately, the CNRI was destroyed in an earthquake so I moved around a bit until I landed the ADA position.

That's an interesting career path you’ve been on Major. I also helped teens but never tried my hand at being a personal trainer. When you open up the gym I’ll definitely swing by.

[She flags down a server before turning back to him, teasing again.]

How's that for heartless and soulless?

[majorlyugh]

[He lets out a laugh as he jokingly sinks into his seat, further and further down like he's trying to casually melt onto the floor and slip away. He eventually sits back up, of course, his laughter now a bit more sheepish than before.] That was me shrinking down to size and being properly put in my place for being such a jerk.

That's all really admirable of you, Laurel. I can't imagine any of it was easy, but hopefully it was rewarding. I'm sorry to hear the place was destroyed, though. .. California?

[Once the waiter comes, Major motions for Laurel to go first while he finalizes whether he wants to go full Seattleite and be pretentious in his drink order ... or be a little more reasonable and get something simple, like a coffee. He's shamelessly using Laurel's order as a gauge.]

[lightinside]

[She shakes her head at him, unable to stop herself from laughing. He was ridiculous but that was okay. His company was good and the coffee would also be good.]

Definitely rewarding. I liked knowing that I was making a difference to other people, even in a small way. [Her expression softens a little.] Yeah, California. We were lucky that the whole city wasn't destroyed.

[The whole truth was very different. It wasn't a natural earthquake - it was brought upon by a device that was created by an evil man. They were also lucky that her father stopped the second one from being unleashed.]

I'll have an Americano and a danish pastry please. [She was in the mood for it.]

[majorlyugh]

Sometimes, it's only in small ways - but I figure that it's better small than none at all, right? Or the opposite.

I haven't gone down to visit Cali too often, but man, every time I was there, I was always terrified I'd be caught in some major cataclysmic earthquake. Even though Seattle's on its own fault line, we only really get tremors, and like .. once every ten years or something.

[Okay, so we're going for pastries. Awesome.] Surprise me with the drink, so long as it's got caffeine in it and doesn't taste like a butt, and a chocolate croissant.

[lightinside]

Your fear isn't irrational - it is something to be concerned about. A sudden earthquake that you mightn't be prepared for. [She gets it.] Seattle isn't a city I've been to before. Travelling across the country was something that was on my list but I never got around to it.

[Too many bad and tragic things had happened in her life. Not to mention Laurel's focus on graduating from law school.]

Chocolate croissant, huh? A wise choice. They're very good here. [Laurel smiles.]

What else can you tell me about yourself?

[majorlyugh]

Seattle born-and-bred. [He gestures towards himself.] Woo, Go Seahawks! I promise, that'll be the last thing I say about football unless you really wanna torture yourself and ask me questions about it, but I have learned enough to keep most of that to myself.

[He drums his fingers on the table, considering her for a few seconds.]

I once got a peanut lodged in my nostril and couldn't get it out for like, two hours. I thought I was going to have to go to the ER, but I finally got it to shoot out like a rocket after many attempts at plugging the other nostril and blowing as hard as I could. I blew a blood vessel in my eye, too. [A pause.] That's the sort of stuff women wanna hear about, right?

[lightinside]

[Her mouth drops open in slight surprise at what he tells her, and Laurel has to take a moment to process it. Why did he have a peanut near his nose in the first place?]

I can't speak for all women...but I wasn't expecting that kind of story. It's not one I'm gonna forget anytime soon, Major. She can't tell if he was embarrassed by it or not - if he was, he hid it pretty well.] Part of me thinks it's kind of funny and another part feels awful for thinking that.

But I guess if we're being honest I can tell you I'm a terrible cook. Not quite on the same level as getting a peanut stuck in my nostril, but I've burned a lot of things.