( video. ) cw: blood and a deeply useless human being

[magnitudes]

( The scene:
Sarissa, with what looks like twisted up kitchen roll shoved up each nostril, the paper bloody. Her nose is puffy, bruised, the skin across the bridge of it and around her eyes looking almost purple, but it hasn’t bowed to either side.

Underneath said tragedy, Sarissa’s mouth is tugged in a wide smile. )

Fuckin’ oath, mates. My sister clocked me good. Can you see this?

( The camera is waved around, to get different angles of her poor nose. ) Bloody legend. I was worried she’d be useless at self-defence, but I take back everything. And she’s driving me to A n’ E.

( She’s in a car, by the way. A nice one. The seats are a deep red leather, and in the driver's seat but considerably less jovial is Sarah. She turns the camera to actually get a shot of Sarah for a couple of seconds before twisting the camera away again. )

It was an accident, we’re good and golden. Lesson learned, but, don’t try to tickle attack Saroula when she’s groggy.

( A sniff, and she makes a little “ow” sort of face that is more comical than sincere. )

Anyway, just wanted to say we’re gonna have a big fuck off barbie at ours, soon. Last part of the summer— or uh, first part of the autumn? And if you happen to also have a homicidal ex-boyfriend who has been ported out for more than a month, then you get to receive a special prize. Like, I dunno. You can take home the bouncy castle, or something. Everyone’s invited, unless I don’t like you, but if you ain’t sure and you got a seal of approval from one of the girls, then you’re good. But everyone bring some food or something, ‘cause I ain’t cooking endless bloody mountains of food when I don’t know how many people are turning up. For one, I'm cheap, and for two, I'm lazy.

( Another little sniff, and Sarissa looks across at Sarah. Dramatically: ) Do you reckon I can still get away with serenadin’ myself in the mirror? You’re beeeeautiful—

( That might just be Sarah’s hand reaching over to try and knock Sarissa’s device out of her hand. )

No, Sarah, you broke my nose, you get to listen to me sing James bloody Blunt, that’s the rules. Maybe Snow Patrol, okay, or Shania, that’s my compromise.

Comments

[magnitudes]

( A pause. )

I wouldn't hate you havin' my back, though.

[hardedged]

Not gonna happen.

[ jess can't condone this, not when she's placing herself in constant danger. maybe this is her chance — the excuse she needs to pull the plug. she's always known, deep down, that they're too different to make this work. ]

[magnitudes]

( Huh. This seems... tense. )

How's about we talk about this more when you get here?

[hardedged]

Doesn't matter.

[ talking won't solve anything. it will only delay the inevitable and open more wounds she'd rather not mention. ]

Just get some rest.

[magnitudes]

You still coming with the burger? 'Cause I wasn't kidding about that.

[hardedged]

Yeah.

[ she can have it delivered or something. because clearly sarissa just cares about the food, right, ahaha...... ]

[magnitudes]

Cool. I'll leave a key under the mat, okay? Sarah's crashed and just in case I get sleepy, too. Don't want you to have to resort to cuddling the piglets instead of me.

( A HOPEFUL.... SMILE.... BECAUSE THINGS ARE GOOD RIGHT.... DESPITE THE SLIGHTLY TENSE TALK, RIGHT? )

[hardedged]

[ OKAY... SOUNDS FAKE BUT OKAY ]

I can just place an order. Most dumps around here deliver.

[ so she doesn't need to drop by at all. smooth. ]

[magnitudes]

I can place an order, Jess. I actually would prefer to see you, more than having a bloody burger.

[hardedged]

You shouldn't.

[ shit, she didn't want to do it like this, over the network while she's injured. perfect timing, jones. ]

[magnitudes]

I should, you dickhead. ( She sounds knowing and fond and slightly exasperated, all at the same time. )

It's okay if you don't wanna come over. I gotta try figure out how to sleep without rollin' on my stomach and fucking my nose up again, so I might go— I dunno, find something to tether myself to bed with.

[hardedged]

[ ughhhhh. ]

Fine. I'm on my way.

[magnitudes]

Oh, I mention tying myself to my bed, and then you come over.

( Deliberately absurd. )

[hardedged]

[ this is a bad idea, jones. you have to stop— ]

Maybe I like having you where I want you.

[ shit. ]

[magnitudes]

Uh huh. Good to know. I might even have to remember that, selectively.

( Except right now she's in pain so like probs not presently )

[hardedged]

I could always remind you.

[ like right now, for instance. ]

[magnitudes]

Deal. I look forward to being reminded.

( And, a quiet huff of laughter. She's glad they're less tense, now. ) Dag.

[hardedged]

Dag?

[ what is this strange slang. ]

[magnitudes]

Uh, like-- like "dork," I guess.

[hardedged]

[ a sharp scoff. ]

Classy.

[magnitudes]

That's definitely why you like me, cause I'm classy.

[hardedged]

Keep it up, and I won't give you a reminder, after all.

I'm sorry she's this way

[magnitudes]

Yeah, you would, because you like my tongue piercing. It's my most redeeming quality.

never be sorry

[hardedged]

Your fingers aren't half bad either.

but do I need to cw for Sarissa being a lustful dumpster

[magnitudes]

God damn it, Jess, you aren't meant to exert yourself after a broken nose for like-- I mean some time, not that long because I can ask someone to magic me better faster, but seriously? You're the worst. Its great, obviously, but you're still the worst. I got thoughts that are your fault.