001 • video

[cigarbribery]

So, hi!

[The setting: an ice cream parlor, somewhere in Heropa. The scene: Foggy Nelson, eating ice cream, because somebody offered him free ice cream with toppings and he's broke. He gives the camera a little wave and a friendly grin.]

I'm Foggy Nelson—yeah, I know, not my idea, but I'm not changing it now—and I have some questions. Don't worry, I got the "welcome to another world, you have superpowers" speech, I just have some concerns it didn't address.

[Lots and lots of them, actually, but he'll just start with the most pressing.]

First of all, I'm a lawyer back at home. Got a law firm and a partner and even a sign for our office. [A pause, during which he looks quickly away from the camera and lets out a quiet, tired sigh like he's already missing it, then:] Of course, you don't have any reason to believe me, and I don't have any proof to back me up here. Which leads me to my first question: do my qualifications still carry over into an alternate universe? Because, man, being an insurance claim investigator is the only thing that's probably worse than being a lawyer. [He's both, so he gets to be funny about this.]

Second, I might need a crash course on imPort law. I'm pretty sure immigration law doesn't quite cover "forcibly dragged to another universe" that well, and I only got maybe a sketch of the benefits of registration when I tried to ask. [This whole registration thing honestly comes off as a little sketchy to Foggy, but he's going to keep his trap shut on that much.]

Third—does anyone here know what I mean when I say the Avengers? How about the Incident? I—just need to know.

Comments

[governorkang]

Likely no more than any other imPort world. Just a different sort of crazy.

I can tell you that while you are here, time stands still on your world. On occasion, the Porter will send someone home, without warning, and bring them back a few days later. In that time span back on your world, you won't remember ever leaving, and any amount between days and decades can pass. I once went back for twenty-two years.

We don't know how to go home. It's been... difficult to learn how the Porter works. All we can do for now is try to make the best of our time here.

[cigarbribery]

That's a comfort. I was worried I'd accidentally left my partner with a shitload of cases. [Liar, you don't have any.] Wait, so from your perspective, you were gone for over twenty years, but when you got back here—just a few days had gone by?

...that's honestly a little disturbing. And you say the Porter just—does what it wants, essentially?

[governorkang]

It's definitely a shock. You never get used to it.

If there is a pattern to how or why the Porter does anything, we've yet to figure it out. Not for lack of trying.