maskormenace | 1 💣 VIDEO.

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1 💣 VIDEO.

[ The feed turns on to show a blonde, mustached man in a white dress shirt — the sleeves rolled up to his elbows — and blue tie, currently attempting to juggle holding his communicator, lighting a cigarette, and holding his suit jacket in place (slung over his shoulder) all at once, because these are all clearly equally necessary tasks. When he speaks it's with a twangy Southern accent — recognizable as West Virginian to those who would — seemingly not all that perturbed by his situation. Maybe just slightly inconvenienced, but that's all. ]

So… I guess this is pretty weird, but let's be honest— while I may barely know of any of you, I feel like I can still speak for most of us when I say things could easily be weirder. Personally if anything, I feel like it was only a matter of time before I ended up in some alternate dimension... it's like eventually you just reach that stage in life when everything else crazy's pretty much already happened to you, so all you can say is, "Sure, why not?" Makes perfect sense. [ That might just be sarcasm. Although maybe not? An even mixture, probably. ] But the best part is—

[ This is about the point where Ray proves why it can be dangerous to record yourself and walk, because as he starts to cross the street the video suddenly bounces, his communicator flying as he is struck hard by a car, shattering the windshield before he's tossed off the vehicle with a shriek. Oh, not a car; the screen shortly reveals that it was, in fact, an ambulance. Ray can be heard yelling, cursing, and making all sorts of noise as then the ambulance bumps over something -- maybe the curb or maybe Ray himself -- as it moves to pull over. Audio somewhat muffled, he shouts after it: ]

Jeezus! Y'all call that driving?! [ Then, pained and more to himself: ] Dukes. Well that's gotta be some kinda record. But maybe pain's a good sign in this case... okay--

[ He groans from still-mostly-off-screen, straining as he tries to determine if he can still move his legs, let alone get up. ]

Oh, wow, they still work!

[ After Ray's gotten back up to his feet he reaches for his communicator again with his singularly gloved hand, looking surprisingly pleased for a man who was just in a traffic accident. And whose face is bleeding and lacerated by glass, some shards still stuck in it. In the background: sirens, so he's gonna walk... as quickly as he can away from the crash site. ]

All good! I'm good, it’s all good, just a little— [ He cracks his back, hissing in mild discomfort, then exhaling in harsh relief. ] Whew. That's better. Boy though, could that have been ugly… especially since that ambulance sure isn't going anywhere in a hurry now. Some welcome wagon.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You were a preacher, really? What made you stop?

It was a long time ago, but yeah. Irreconcilable differences with the church is probably the simplest way to put it.

Which church, if you don't mind my asking?

Um... well, I tried to be a little more nondenominational, but it also leaned pretty Methodist.

Ah, the Methodists. Protestants, yeah. I knew more Catholics growing up.

Same here, actually, so that doesn't surprise me. I mean, I didn't know all of them very well, but there was just generally more of them around. Were you real religious?

I was minorly religious. Still am. I go to services, I celebrate holidays - different holidays from yours; I'm a Jew.

Oh... neat. Y'all got something coming up soon then too, don't you?

[ He wants to say "Passover"...? But uh, plays it safe instead by not. ]

But that's more than I do these days, anyway. Not that I lost my faith or anything, I just needed a little distance.

The new year's at the end of the month, yeah.

You've had bad experiences, then? Bad memories?

Happy New Year, then. Um, in advance. Do you usually do anything to celebrate?

Oh yeah, though. Tons. I mean I'm fine now, but I definitely felt kinda messed up over it for a while. Of course, a lot of that did overlap with my denial years, so in a way it's to be expected.

[It's a very vague answer, and Alfie assumes he doesn't really want to give details to a stranger - and while he might poke and prod at it later, he decides to leave it for now.]

Yeah, I do all sorts of things; yeah. I've got a temple I go to here. Of course it's better to be at home among family, but I haven't got that option now, do I.

[ It shouldn't be too difficult, at least; context depending, Ray's not especially secretive. ]

No... I guess you don't. But there's always friends you could spend it with too, right?

Sure, yeah. I'm not entirely alone.

That's good. I hate spending holidays alone, it's so damn depressing.

You've got Christmas in a few months. Do you celebrate that one?

Oh, you bet I do. Usually with my friends, if they're not too busy spending time with their families-- but it seems like that won't be much of a problem this year, so. That might be nice.

Have you got friends here? People from home?

No one from home, no, but I don't really mind meeting people here. It might make gift exchanges a little more interesting, for one thing. And um... at least we're all sorta in the same boat.

Yeah. I'm the only imPort at my congregation, so the natives are who I'm gonna spend the holidays with. They're all right, if you can find ones that don't bother you for it.

[ With a slow nod: ]

That's always pretty important, yeah. I think as long as you're in a place or with people that mean something to you, that's all that really matters. [ A pause. ] Well, mean something good, that is.

It's a connection. Yeah. Something of home, even when I can't be there.

It's nice that you have that. Still too bad you can't be with your family for it, though. I'm not really close with mine, but I can see how that'd probably get to people.

Is your not being close related to the religion thing, by any chance?

Mm-hmm, in a way. Plus the whole gay thing.

Ah. Yeah.

Your lot are out in the open about it in this world, you know. Not likely to be a problem for you here.

[Says Alfie, who is roughly 0% aware of the issues modern day gay people face.]