001. voice.

[shadohdamn]

( potential spoilers for season one of American Gods, if you'd like me to avoid any spoilers please just lmk in the subject line. )


What do you believe in? Really believe? What do you devote your time to?

( A pause; he's having a sip of cocoa. )

Now I've been here a few weeks, I've gotten to wondering about that. There's a lot here that's the same as back home, with a few obvious differences thrown in. Advertising, TV, that kind of thing. Back where I come from, what you spend your time on and what consumes your thoughts matters. There's a lot of shit you might not realise how much it matters to you. Mattering matters, if you want to make it sound like some bullshit affirmation.

So here's the thing: what if the reason we come through those porters with the powers we got is because people believe we will? What if we only start fighting crime or committing them because people believe we will?

( A long exhale, almost a verbal shrug. ) Or maybe it's bullshit. I dunno.

Comments

[voice]

[cigarbribery]

The law. [A pause, then, cheerfully:] Plus a couple bucks so I can eat. Rent's been so much cheaper since I got here.

[Rent has been nonexistent since he got here, essentially.]

permavoice.

[shadohdamn]

Well, I haven't met Law or Currency.

( Yet. ) That's not to say they aren't out there. They might have catchier names.

[ Video ]

[ghoulking]

[ look, he appreciates metaphorical conversations at times. But it's not that complicated (or easy, really) to know why they are here. It's not about belief, at least not because of the natives ]

We came through the Porter because Lachesis wants us to. [ still - ] It's a bit ironic to talk about fate when Lachesis is fate herself, but our actions are still our own regardless of "fate" and "destiny"; it's not that someone else believes we will do something, it's that we believe in it ourselves.

We are to blame on our own.

permavideo.

[shadohdamn]

( Oh, video, sure. He can go with that, flicks over settings, mid sip cocoa. When he speaks, his tone is more quiet interest and slight humour. )

Maybe. I dunno much about tech and porters. I can restart a router or do an oil change, but...

( more than that? Not really his area of expertise. The books he read in prison probably weren't cutting edge, and he's gonna take a wild stab in the dark and say they probably don't cover alternate dimensions either.

Damn budget cuts, right? )

I know a guy, he asked if gods existence came from belief, or if belief came from gods existing. How did it all start, that kinda thing. And action, yeah, that's our choice. But do you think expectation plays no part?

[magneticxman]

I believe in...

[she pauses, considering]

Doing the right thing. I believe the world can change for the better. I believe it's my job to leave the world better than I found it.

It sounds like you're trying to work something out. Are you new like me?

[shadohdamn]

Sound like good things to me.

( Idealistic, yeah. Naive, probably, but sometimes being cynical gets fucking tiring. )

Been here a few weeks... not sure when I stop needing to wear my "new guy" badge.

[voice]

[rekt]

[ normally he sidesteps these existential sort of posts - murphy's never been much for faith or this much intellectual gibbering, but something about the voice seems somewhat familiar. can't quite place a finger on it yet, but in the meantime, may as well chat. ]

I devote my time to staying alive.

[ about the only thing that really regularly motivates him, which has been weird in a place like this. ]

It'd be nice if all I had to do was believe I'm immortal, but I think you had it better on that last part. Bullshit.

permavoice.

[shadohdamn]

See, that's the thing. We don't get to believe something that'll change us directly. It's more to do with what forms a god and what gives them power, and then you've just gotta hope like hell that their whims work in your favour, I guess.

( That Wednesday though, what a stand up guy, what a bro. Flawless.

He exhales a quiet breath that could be amused, but definitely doesn't make it to being a laugh. )

Not dying sounds like a damn good priority. If I could believe myself rich, that wouldn't suck either.

un: dh4z3

[nastygram]

real talk bro
the crime fighting gene is depressingly probs linked to total suggestibility
the same kind of people who go to a hypnotist show and come out ~~ changed
are the same kind of people who buy up time shares in fl
are the same kind of people who donate to big orgs and not individuals
are the same kind of people who are going to think that their bullshit kitten rescue in spandex contribution is going to make fuck all of a difference

the macro big """difference""" is sooooo much easier

MEANWHILE
the porter has nothing to do w affirmative bullshit

Re: un: dh4z3

[fehus]

^this

how do you know the porter isn't to do with affirmative bullshit?

voice;

[pyrogue]

I dunno if I like the idea of who we are is 'cause of what people believe we'll do. Maybe just 'cause I've spent a lot of time trying to convince people their beliefs about me are wrong.

So to answer your second question... guess I'd say I believe in redemption. Or maybe I just need to believe in it.

permavoice.

[shadohdamn]

I'll drink to that.

( When he has an actual drink to hand, other than cocoa. )

Were their beliefs right at some point and you've changed?

voice

[damasks]

["Mattering matters". It's a pretty strange thing to say, and it takes Lucy a little while to digest. Not that that's a bad thing--she's usually mulling over a few things at once, but in this case, she's not sure in the end that she comes to any actual conclusions.]

[God? Not anymore. Being a good person? No. A good wife? Not here. So what is it that she believes in?]

Learning. Or . . . [That's too simple.] Not giving up. Surviving? Something like that.

But if believing in that was enough, I don't think many people would die.

permavoice

[shadohdamn]

Yeah. ( Everyone here seems pretty sensible, so far, on the surviving front. Good priority. )

Unless we're talking about believing in gods to help us survive, and then you're still subject to whatever they decide they wanna do - in which case believing all on its own still isn't enough.

voice.

[brandishes]

Lapsed Catholic, if that counts. ( hola Shadow, it's your friendly neighbourhood disaster. ) Is there a cut-off where you stop being able to claim 'lapsed' and you just have to embrace your godless future, do you think?

permavoice.

[shadohdamn]

( oh hey it's his favourite neighbour who sometimes drinks outside alone in the dark )

Only stays godless if you want it to, I guess. I'm sure any or all of the Jesus Christs would welcome you back with open arms, if you reconsidered.

voice;

[aloadeddie]

I guess you could say I believe in the power of free will.

permavoice;

[shadohdamn]

Amen to that.

( Shadow sounds amused, in a tired way. )

So many people have conflicting things they'd like to do with their free will, though. I'm not complaining about it, just saying.

video

[fehus]

"Or maybe it's bullshit" would have been a great way to end a lot of philosophical and religious texts. Like, maybe things wouldn't have escalated into holy wars and stuff, with that perspective.

[have a blond, tired looking demigod]

Do you believe in fate?

permavideo

[shadohdamn]

( let's all look tired and stressed together. But Shadow has a hot cocoa with a bunch of marshmallows bobbing in the top, so. )

Fate?

( Now there's a thought. ) I didn't. Didn't believe in much of anything - we're screwed either way, and trying to guess it before it happened was just wasting everyone's time. Now?

( His head tilts a little to the side, a thoughtful gesture. ) Now I think just about anything is possible. What about you?

AUDIO.

[specialise]

[ damn, if this isn't a loaded question, then raven isn't the smartest person she knows. ]

I believe in me.

[ voice quiet, still firm despite the softness. ]

[ it sounds like she's putting mattering first. it matters to matter. being someone who is someone in the grand scheme of things had been raven's goal. in order to be the little bird, she needed to unfurl her wings and fly, despite what life had thrown at her. and raven reyes, for all of her insecurities and self-deprecation, has never, ever stopped believing in that one thing. herself. ]

You can change my world, you can change my genetic makeup, but you can't change me. That's what I believe in.

permaaudio.

[shadohdamn]

Sounds smart.

( He can respect it, which... it's not that he's a disrespectful guy, but there's been a lot he's seen lately that might inspire fear, but didn't inspire respect in a more positive sense. )

It'd probably make you a damn sight tougher than a lot of people.

[voice]

[14words]

That's a very interesting question and an equally interesting point. I'm curious, why do you say what occupies you is different in your home?

As for why we are here, some may call that fate, in a more passive sense.

permavoice.

[shadohdamn]

Dunno for sure if it's different from here, or anywhere else. Just that... back home there was a world beneath a world, or on the edges of it. There was overlap, but it was so damn easy to live your whole life and have no idea.

( BLEEDING HAMMERS he will never be over the creepy bleeding hammer, christ

*with apologies to all the jesuses he's met, they seem like decent enough guys )

Gods. What occupies us, the way you said it, that creates gods? Or the gods already existed we we just make them more powerful? Hard to say.

voice

[am_i_a_monster]

There isn't a reason. There are a lot of people more deserving at a second chance at life and powers than I am. People who would do more with all of this.

I devote my time to trying to have a normal life, the one I couldn't have had before.

permavoice

[shadohdamn]

Who's deserving of anything probably depends on a lot of factors.

( and also, that's a lot to try and process. )

"Normal" might be too, for that matter.

[audio]

[candor1]

As impossible to verify as the other theories I've heard. So won't rule it out either. Might be one of those times that we keep looking for the truth and in the meantime pick the story that's most useful.

In which case, that seems better than most. …that the power of peoples' belief, their need, could be answered. And what they imagine are other people who want to help.

[Doesn't account for the imPorts who don't. But "whatever's helpful".]

I like it.

…I think that's what I believed in my last life too.

That such want deserved answering. To whatever extent we could.

permaaudio.

[shadohdamn]

( Shadow makes a quiet sound of agreement, weighing up which direction to take this. There's a few different ways it could branch out, but long rambles aren't really his style - he likes to focus on things, learn as much as he can, keep turning it over in his head and figure it out. Coin tricks and puzzles. )

Was there a lot of need, ( "in your last life" feels both like a strange thing to say, and oddly reminiscent of Laura, prison, of so much before his life became a shitstorm. He declines to use it based only on the strange, unsettling discomfort that comes with it, ) where you come from?

( Deserved and what shape the help takes, now, those were matters Wednesday would probably go on about for hours if someone let him. )

[burlyboy]

Myself. Who else can you rely on?

[ That sounds way more depressing on paper than it sounds the way Magnus says it - he sounds strong, confident, and not at all consumed with existential despair. He protects people, and he can't depend on anyone else to do it, so... he believes in himself. Easy as that. ]

[shadohdamn]

( Shadow likes him already, making a little hm sound that's definitely amused. It even comes with a smile. You'll have to trust me because this scrublord hasn't got any smile icons yet, but it does happen. )

Touché. There's nothing to keep it from coming down to just us.

( Which sounds a lot less bitter than it could. In fact, it doesn't sound bitter at all, just realistic. ) I dunno what your... world... ( still such bullshit tbh ) is like, but there's a lot of weight put on faith in higher beings where I'm from. Then there's a lot of people who think there's nothing to believe in in the first place, too.

VIDEO.

[handycapable]

Well I believe in God, of course, but-- [ He pauses. ] I try to devote my time to living the kind of life I feel like I can be proud of. Of course, I dunno if I've succeeded...

[ "Mattering matters." That's almost cute, though; it draws a momentary smile from Ray before his expression relaxes again, and he adds more cynically: ]

But trust me, if it just came down to belief alone, then a lot of us wouldn't even exist.

permavideo.

[shadohdamn]

Depends on what you think is worth being proud of, right? ( Shadow shrugs a little, sips his cocoa. ) Easy to give yourself a hard time.

( And, well, that other thing Ray said runs back through his head again, and he pauses before continuing. )

Here, or in general?

voice

[exceptionalthief]

I think there are plenty of people who fought crime or committed them before they ever came here.

[He can definitely attest to the latter, at any rate.]

As for those who only start once here, are you wondering if they do it because it's expected of them, or if collective belief is a superpower in itself?

permavoice

[shadohdamn]

( oh hey buddy

Shadow makes a quiet sound of agreement - he'd be one for the latter, as well, though he'd rather not advertise the fact.)

I hadn't thought about it as a superpower, exactly, but— ( the drawn out pause is statement enough, really, a wordless huh, possibly. ) Where we are and what people here can do, it seems plausible. At home, worship is fuel for gods - I guess "collective superpower" would be the simplest way of putting it.

( For a given value of simple. )

Anon Text | user name given: Alibaba

[codeoracle]

I made the suggestion before, people said it's not possible. But cognition of others is a powerful thing.

If it's believed by enough people, with enough conviction, it could shape the world around them. I was once erased because no one remembered I ever existed, no one believed in my existence. It's an extreme example, and one from home...but still.

permatext.

[shadohdamn]

I know someone who said "better dead than forgotten."

Did you come back?

[slightlyoffchilt]

Science. Death. A perfectly made whiskey sour.

I do not believe in gods.

[shadohdamn]

Pretty sure at least two of those probably are gods. And I know at least one god that would probably love a perfectly made whiskey sour.

Late Video

[craftpunk]

Do you really care what we believe? Sounds like you've got a whole theory on this whole thing -- and it's no more ridiculous than what's happening to us already.

[ The helmet tips. ]

What do you believe in, since we're talking about this stuff.

permavideo.

[shadohdamn]

( The helmet is... unsettling. Faceless, like the men that follow Mr. World, and the fencing masks that those lackeys of the boy with the tech and the limousine wore. Shadow isn't so ultra expressive as to immediately give his discomfort away, but his mouth tugs down at the corners. )

I only know what I know from home, and I got some idea of what's happening there. That didn't account for more worlds.

( Perhaps this is more where his discomfort with the helmet will show; he simply shrugs. )

This and that.