Odin (Owain) | Fire Emblem (
shadowglitter) wrote in
maskormenace2017-11-02 12:51 pm
video. space time
Hey, it's me! ODIN DARK. [ he puts his hand over his face, shielding the world from the madness that stirs within him. ] When you were a child, were you ever afraid of... the Dark? Gehehuhuhuahahaha.
So, if you can't tell from the billboards of my face hung up all around in basically every city, I'm gonna be on TV! I'm a contestant on that space thing! Which is great because I deserve it more than anyone and I'm really funny and cool and smart and good looking and I'm gonna be naked and lighting things on fire and getting into fist fights and throwing drinks into people's faces like all the time so that everybody gives me attention and votes to keep me around or whatever. Get pumped! But also: I have some games we can play to celebrate? Consider this the second episode of my vlog I guess.
Game one: which of these are you? [ he holds his camera up to rEVEAL A WEREWOLF NAME QUIZ. he gives you about 2 seconds to look at the print out before he's moving on. ]
Game two: not actually a game! Tell me about things you want to see people do on TV so that I can do it. Literally anything. I'm not kidding. I'm going to be in space and I'm telling you right now I will literally do anything you tell me to do if it'll get me the attention I so sorely crave. Actually I guess this is the game in that whoever gives me the most ludicrous assignment wins? Haha. This feeling in my veins - what I once thought to be umbral, soulrendering dread - I now recognize as just super fun excitement.
Game three: TELL ME A SECRET ABOUT ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS SO I CAN SHOUT IT REALLY LOUDLY ON NATIONAL TV. Such an advanced spell... I truly am an excellent sorcerer.
THAT'S IT.
So, if you can't tell from the billboards of my face hung up all around in basically every city, I'm gonna be on TV! I'm a contestant on that space thing! Which is great because I deserve it more than anyone and I'm really funny and cool and smart and good looking and I'm gonna be naked and lighting things on fire and getting into fist fights and throwing drinks into people's faces like all the time so that everybody gives me attention and votes to keep me around or whatever. Get pumped! But also: I have some games we can play to celebrate? Consider this the second episode of my vlog I guess.
Game one: which of these are you? [ he holds his camera up to rEVEAL A WEREWOLF NAME QUIZ. he gives you about 2 seconds to look at the print out before he's moving on. ]
Game two: not actually a game! Tell me about things you want to see people do on TV so that I can do it. Literally anything. I'm not kidding. I'm going to be in space and I'm telling you right now I will literally do anything you tell me to do if it'll get me the attention I so sorely crave. Actually I guess this is the game in that whoever gives me the most ludicrous assignment wins? Haha. This feeling in my veins - what I once thought to be umbral, soulrendering dread - I now recognize as just super fun excitement.
Game three: TELL ME A SECRET ABOUT ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS SO I CAN SHOUT IT REALLY LOUDLY ON NATIONAL TV. Such an advanced spell... I truly am an excellent sorcerer.
THAT'S IT.

Re: video;
I believe βfuck offβ should be amicable enough, donβt you?
Re: video;
That hurt. That hurt my feelings. I think this relationship is only going to proceed if I hold your feelings hostage, as you're so capable of holding mine. And so--
Every time you're mean to me, I'm gonna add it to a tally. Every time I hit, say, five tallies? I'm going over there. I'm going to your house. I'm breaking in through the window. I'm climbing up that wall, breaking through that window, and going into your bedroom.
And then I'm going to give you a cuddle.
Re: video;
Would you like to end up with a grey goose feather in your chest?
[ Sure, he has powers just as well as any other imPort here, but heβs a marksman first. He feels most comfortable with a bow and arrow and itβs still his first line of defense. ]
There's nothing half so mortal, and I donβt need five chances to hit my mark--and to hurt more than just your feelings.
[ Itβs always deadly threats with this guy, yes. ]
Re: video;
Is that what it'd take? If I let you shoot me, would you be my friend?
Re: video;
If you let me shoot you, you'll be dead.
Re: video;
Friends die for each other all the time. You've never had a friend all up and die on you?
Pfft. It's just how things go, man! So.
Kill me, if you have to. I'll respawn and you'll have no choice but to like me.
Re: video;
Iβm not going to kill you. Donβt be an idiot.
[ He snaps irritably. ]
But Iβll not like you either.
Re: video;
... It sounds to me like I can't trust your word, given that you were totally gonna shoot me but now you're totally not. [ he pauses. ]
That means, theoretically, that all the times you bullied me or said you didn't like me - those words, too, were disingenuous? Your hate for me - all a lie? You've been practicing the ancient, mystical art of the fabled tsundere? Where did you learn such an advanced branch of psychological combat?
Re: video;
My hatred for you is hardly a lie. But if I killed you, I would be in more trouble than I care for at the moment.
Re: video;
Do you feel insecure about yourself because of your family at all?
Re: video;
[ Thatβs a massive lie. His family situation is what has aided in forming all of his biggest insecurities, but heβs obviously not going to tell Odin that. He might try even harder to be friends, and Theon doesn't want that. ]
And even if I did, why would I tell you as much?
Re: video;
[ He's not going to just accept that Theon doesn't like him as a person, even though, like. Obviously. He puts a hand to his chin and thinks long and hard about what psychological bullshit might be running through Theon's head right now. ]
There's gotta be some reason why you don't want me to be your friend. Maybe you're scared of commitment? Or abandonment! Oh man, I've got a fear of abandonment in spades. It's one of my whole big things! That's something we could bond over. Or, um, hmm. What else... maybe you're scared of super hot people? I don't blame you for that, either. That's another thing we have in common.
Re: video;
Iβm not scared of anything.
[ Just whatβs going to happen to him when he goes home, but thatβs a different situation. He glares. ]
You and I have nothing in common, and I dislike you merely because I dislike you.