maskormenace | video. space time

Hey, it's me! ODIN DARK. [ he puts his hand over his face, shielding the world from the madness that stirs within him. ] When you were a child, were you ever afraid of... the Dark? Gehehuhuhuahahaha.

So, if you can't tell from the billboards of my face hung up all around in basically every city, I'm gonna be on TV! I'm a contestant on that space thing! Which is great because I deserve it more than anyone and I'm really funny and cool and smart and good looking and I'm gonna be naked and lighting things on fire and getting into fist fights and throwing drinks into people's faces like all the time so that everybody gives me attention and votes to keep me around or whatever. Get pumped! But also: I have some games we can play to celebrate? Consider this the second episode of my vlog I guess.

Game one: which of these are you? [ he holds his camera up to rEVEAL A WEREWOLF NAME QUIZ. he gives you about 2 seconds to look at the print out before he's moving on. ]

Game two: not actually a game! Tell me about things you want to see people do on TV so that I can do it. Literally anything. I'm not kidding. I'm going to be in space and I'm telling you right now I will literally do anything you tell me to do if it'll get me the attention I so sorely crave. Actually I guess this is the game in that whoever gives me the most ludicrous assignment wins? Haha. This feeling in my veins - what I once thought to be umbral, soulrendering dread - I now recognize as just super fun excitement.

Game three: TELL ME A SECRET ABOUT ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS SO I CAN SHOUT IT REALLY LOUDLY ON NATIONAL TV. Such an advanced spell... I truly am an excellent sorcerer.

THAT'S IT.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It's not about the house, that's all I'm sayin'. Though... I didn't know Pucci was in there too... shit.

Oh.

I'm... not giving up on this line of questioning, but: did Pucci talk to you about how he was there with me?

No. What happened?

[he hopes it wasn't risen again :(]

I fucked up again. News at eleven.

[ he waves his hand sarcastically through the air. good guy odin always getting people fucked the fuck up. ]

What'd he say about the house?

You didn't fuck up.

[grunts.]

Uh, nothing? He hasn't mentioned it.

[ GRUNTS BACK. ]

Okay. Well. Yes. He was there. I fucked up. There's not much more to tell. Do you want an extensive play-by-play so I can convince you of that, or do you wanna skip ahead and TELL ME WHAT YOU WANNA TALK TO PUCCI ABOUT ALREADY BY THE GODS

No.

To both those things.

NNNNEEENNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGNNNNNN.

What if I tell you one of MY secrets?

You can if you want, but I'm still not gonna tell you.

Rrgh! There has to be something you want from me. Look at me! I'm in such a sad and vulnerable and sad position.

I don't believe our relationship is in such poor form that you aren't willing to blackmail me or hold something about me as hostage in return for this information.

You're not changing my mind, Odin.

...

I'm gonna just ask Pucci. He doesn't like you enough to keep your secrets from me, his best friend in America.

Sure. You can do what you want, Odin.

Okay, then! I WILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But also please react to all of this more emotionally and with great fervor. You're making me feel uncomfortable, or like you don't care and that I'm embarrassing myself, or like you're genuinely upset with me in a way that is neither fun nor funny. This is an unsettling feeling, especially when I'm the one who should be genuinely upset between the two of us.

Edited (whoops this isnt text what am i doing) 2017-11-11 00:43 (UTC)

But if I pretend it'll be insincere!! I can't give you anything other than my word, Odin!

If I gave a shit about insincerity, I wouldn't still be running around with a fake name I don't need anymore and screaming at the top of my lungs about how I'm an evil magician mastermind when I'm actually some douchebag who likes glitter!

GIVE ME YOUR EMOTIONS!!!

Okay, fine.

...

We're having a hot and steamy illicit affair.

[ Odin steeples his fingers. he knows that this is just insincerity for insincerity's sake, as Odin insisted, but. just in case-- ]

Treat him well. Don't hurt him. He's had a lot going on, in his life, and I think he would take to relationships pretty carefully because of it.

I was going to break up with him, actually. I have too many men in my life and none of them are polyamorous.

[ odin immediately forgets they're fucking around and gets sad. ]

D-Don't. What? Dump everyone else. Pucci deserves more respect than what you're showing him.

Odin, this ain't serious. I'm not actually seeing him, you know. If I was, I probably wouldn't dump him.

Hm.

Can I be one of your polyamorous boyfriends? It doesn't have to be for real. I just want practice at being a boyfriend.

No, sorry. I'm settling for lame monogamy.

...

Who you thinkin' of, though?

Just general practice. I think if I ever became a boyfriend I would be really bad at it, just by virtue of being me. It would've been nice to get some skills under my belt.

You-- Owain -- are perfectly fine. You're a caring sweet person when you try. You don't need to practice because you're fine how you are.

It's the persona, I guess, that you put on. If you put that on to try and impress whoever and hide who you really are -- which I get that you did that with the name change and everything -- the guy who thinks firing ice at his wall... that's the one you gotta keep in check. If it's actually you making those decisions, that's fine, but if you know it's something you're doing to try and impress 'em, don't.

I'm not tryin' to say that that part of you is wrong and needs to go, I'm sayin' that someone's gonna fall in love with you for you. Not necessarily the guy who can shoot fire out his hands.

...Though fair play if they're into that. That is pretty cool.

Re: video -> pppppRIVATE

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