maskormenace | 002 | gumbo

[For those who have seen Will Graham before, the difference today is pretty drastic. The difference being, of course, that he's gotten himself a much-needed haircut and actually shaved, which means he looks like a regular guy in plaid as opposed to a cousin of some mountain cryptid in plaid. What's behind him is probably the thing that grabs the most attention, that being a picture of a shark that's been made big enough to cover a nice section of the wall behind him. A handful of people are gathered around it and talking, but it's too far away to make out much of anything.

He doesn't sound extremely excited (shock), doesn't like being on video, but oh whale.]

I read a story where I'm from, some group that specializes in studying great white sharks had caught one near Jacksonville, tagged her, and tracked her to gather more data. Named her Lydia, followed her paths, got information they wouldn't have had otherwise. While back, I told some of the fishers here, we got together, and...recreated it. ["We went out and caught a shark and put a bunch of tags on her," is what he means.] That was a little over a month ago, and our Lydia's given a lot of data here, too. Ended up getting a nice monetary bonus tossed their way which they've decided to use on a little. Fish fry. Party. [This does not look like someone who talks about parties much. Or goes to them.] Since I was the one who told them about it, and I'm an imPort, I was asked ["""""asked"""""] to extend that invitation to the rest of you. Saturday after next, not far from Heropa, arrangements can be made to get people to and from. On the beach. It's a lot of free food and beer and boats and music and I'm sure there will be fireworks at some point—

[He's running out of steam in regards to how to talk about a party, nearing the end, when one of the men in the group behind him calls out, turning to show that he is wearing one of the tackier, more suggestive shirts Will sells because Master Baiter.]

Why don't you hand out some of your shirts? I love mine.

[Will hasn't turned to fully look at him and doesn't need to to know exactly which one is being displayed, which tacky joke is haunting him right in plain sight. He takes a second (during which he looks about ready to kill) to compose himself so his voice doesn't sound murderous before:]

And. Free shirts. [SWIMMING ALONG QUICKLY] Anybody interested, just let me know. I'll give out directions.

[He can't even try to smile. The shark looks like it would be much nicer than he does by the time he ends the feed.]

[ooc. there will be an open log up on the 26th!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[She is always there. Lingering in the shadows of the network]

If it's for science.

[Better than his other shadow-lingering beasts.]

Nobody got eaten. Nobody got hurt. It was, it was a good day. Good experience. Might be a video somewhere, I'll have to ask around. For science.

That's just so normal. It didn't, like, lead you to Godzilla's underwater base or turn out to be a wereshark or anything?

[He takes a moment, seems to think about it like if she did turn into a wereshark, it was totally forgettable.]

No. None of that. She did roll around a lot. [Because she's a fish out of water, of course she did.] She might know where Godzilla's underwater base is, but she wasn't very talkative. Maybe she'll lead us there with her tracker, expose him without realizing it. I'll keep you updated if that happens.

Edited 2014-07-17 21:05 (UTC)

Cool. She's got time to take us somewhere terrible.

[Beat]

Is it actually a girl shark?

[Freddie Lounds just thinks her stories about mechanical sharks are full of deets, wait for Will's shark girlfriend to reveal Godzilla.]

She's actually a girl shark, yeah. Big one, too. Australia did something similar once, but they named theirs Nicole. You know, after the actress. One that married that...uh, country singer.

[NICOLE KIDMAN PREGNANT AND SWIMMING AROUND BEACHES FAMILIES TAKE THEIR KIDS TO, MORE INFORMATION ON PAGE 2! Headlines are so much more fun with sharks, okay?]

[Isn't everything?]

Our shark is clearly better.

[beat]

Wait- we're the first ones to do this here, right? No other shark taggers?

["We're"? He didn't see any attack raccoons out there with him.]

It's just this group so far that's done the tagging thing. Not sure if it'll spread. Why?

So ours will be the first trained attack sharks. For fighting the Russians.

[He wasn't expecting that. He doesn't laugh, but he does smile in a way that's not strained or, worse, reminiscent of a serial killer. Good job.]

I think the original Lydia ended up getting pregnant and making her way to the UK. If this one makes a path for Russia...we'll know she's a true patriot.

[She didn't know it was physically possible]

She will raise her young on the blood of our enemies. I could totally cry right now.

[Bringing out the best in people, April. He takes a second, thinking...]

You want us to name the next one April?

[He will so suggest they do it again if she wants an April shark. All her remoras will be named Raccoon #1-400.]

You mean it?

[Don't mess with her, bro. This is probably the most exciting thing to happen ever.

Ever]

Why not? Another trip out wouldn't be difficult to organize. It was successful last time, might be better now that we've done it before.

[He is not messing.]

It's getting named April ever if it's-

No. Especially if it's a boy shark.

Why especially? Boy sharks are usually smaller. Less intimidating.

[The idea of a shark being anything but intimidating...]

Because then I'll be a top predator in two genders and species. No overlap, lots of Bingo points.

[Thinking...]

What if boy shark April and girl shark April hook up?

Then the ancient prophecy will be complete.

[Seriously, like this could destroy the planet:]

What happens when the prophecy is complete?

I'm sorry. Where's the fun if anyone knows that?

Oh.

[He "gets it" if his face is anything to go by.]

You don't even know what happens.

Of course not. Life is totally boring already. If I already knew the consequences for my few actions, why bother doing them?

[As long as she sticks to raccoons, not people...]

Maybe your life's boring—how can a vampire queen who controls raccoons have a boring life? Is it because you've been alive for hundreds of years?

[The way he says it, it wouldn't be difficult to think he truly believes she is, in fact, a vampire.]

Obviously. But aren't you? You're reduced to punny t-shirts already and you're only, like, twelve or something.

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