ʜᴀɴ sᴏʟᴏ (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
carbonfrozen) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
maskormenace2017-11-26 01:52 pm
carbonfrozen) wrote in maskormenace2017-11-26 01:52 pm
005 | text
what's a Santa Claus and what does he have to do with all these fancy lights people keep stringing up
[Attached is a picture of some random house decorated with Christmas lights. There's a neon Santa Claus on the rooftop. It's a very old neon Santa Claus, significant portions of his body, sled and reindeer are just not lighting up.
Did we also mention that it's late at night and Han Solo's bored out of his skull?]
why does he need a sled and whatever those things are
they're reindeer right??
[So bored.]
[Attached is a picture of some random house decorated with Christmas lights. There's a neon Santa Claus on the rooftop. It's a very old neon Santa Claus, significant portions of his body, sled and reindeer are just not lighting up.
Did we also mention that it's late at night and Han Solo's bored out of his skull?]
why does he need a sled and whatever those things are
they're reindeer right??
[So bored.]
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My research suggests Santa Claus is derived from St. Nicholas of Myra and St. Nicholas of Sinterklaas, both figures in Dutch folklore. Traditionally both rode white horses. The reindeer came into popular imagination in the 1800s.
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yeah I'll give you that, at least I know better for next time
so he traded in the horses for the reindeer? if you ask me he downgraded, should've gotten a real ship instead
and the lights??
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Originally candles. Some countries still hang candles from trees, instead of lights. Partly I think because a winter holiday is very dark in some parts of the world.
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how would you even cram that many gifts, how would you plan a route that doesn't end in you smashing into a mountain, how would you even know where to go and who to give presents to
sounds like a fire hazard
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Your assessment is correct that there are a great deal that was not considered in terms of efficiency and space, but it makes assumptions about intent and context, as well as technology. The writer lived before space travel was a possibility. Given the whimsical subject matter the work was intended as fantasy and drawing on magic, rather then to comply with the laws of physics. For example: reindeer do not fly.
It could be. Perhaps this is why electric lights have gained popularity.
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this whole time I thought the sled was the one with the closest thing to a hyperdrive they could think of, it's got the most room for it
what do you mean it's the kriffing reindeer
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Still, a sled is not self-powered. It needs to be drawn by something. If you like to think the reindeer have hyperdrive in order to enable travel that may be plausible. In that case, who is to say the sled does not have access to a pocket dimension that contains all the gifts? The gifts themselves do not need to be transported, only Santa Claus and the device he uses to access aforementioned dimension.
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how do you just give reindeer the ability to fly faster than lightspeed, is this some kind of magic thing
and okay, if we're going to go with that, fine, let's say the gifts are all sitting in a warehouse in some pocket dimension waiting for Santa Claus to throw them out to kids
how does he know which one goes to which kid
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In the fantasy genre some magic and spells allow for increased speed or teleportations. I am not sure of how these would compare to hyperdrives. It would depend on the source material. Perhaps "magic reindeer" would suit better than "hyperdrive reindeer."
Labelling and a carefully maintained categorisation and organisational system. The myths include elves, it could be they also work at high speed and maintain a system for the children based on identification using name/age/date of birth/address, etc.
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know anyone who's a good slicer? or I think the word for it here is "hacker"
speak for yourself, I like "hyperdrive reindeer" better, just rolls off the tongue better
high speed elves?? they probably get better pay in that one night than I do the whole year ferrying drunk kids home and I could outfly this Santa Claus any time
that's just not fair [You're overthinking it, Han.]
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they probably also work harder and in more ethically questionable conditions. the pressure and precision would be considerable.
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hey if you want, if it ever happens I can call you and you can come check it out
they better get good pay if they're gonna get worked that hard for one night
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( be nice, MK )
but thank you
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don't mention it