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[carbonfrozen]

what's a Santa Claus and what does he have to do with all these fancy lights people keep stringing up

[Attached is a picture of some random house decorated with Christmas lights. There's a neon Santa Claus on the rooftop. It's a very old neon Santa Claus, significant portions of his body, sled and reindeer are just not lighting up.

Did we also mention that it's late at night and Han Solo's bored out of his skull?]

why does he need a sled and whatever those things are

they're reindeer right??

[So bored.]

Comments

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[notayoungman]

Capitalism.

[ He can't help it if he's a scrooge and all of this Christmas nonsense is making him more irritated than usual. ]

[carbonfrozen]

how is that an answer

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[reek]

I was led to believe he was someone's god of sorts.

[ I mean, no one ever confirmed he wasn't. ]

[carbonfrozen]

don't look like a god to me

you'd think if they worshiped him they'd take better care of their symbols

id: marya.

[ewenique]

do you understand how internet search functions work

[carbonfrozen]

yeah but this is more fun

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[momchester]

the lights are for a holiday, christmas.

santa is a guy who on christmas eve brings toys and presents to all the kids in the world.

[carbonfrozen]

[Should he. Should he laugh about that, because even if he's never heard of this Santa Claus, he's pretty sure no one can bring presents to literally every child in the whole world. You'd need a ship, something that can speed up the journey (like a hyperdrive), a constantly-updating list of children and their addresses, so many things that the logistics of Santa Claus is impossible.

Or, you know what, he's bored. Why not.]

sounds like a real stand-up guy to me if he's going to all that trouble

but just kids? really?

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[fettering]

christmas is the best!! the lights are always really pretty
santas just a fun tradition for children
but hes based on a christian saint!

[carbonfrozen]

so what, no Santa for adults

seems unfair

christian?

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[perfectible]

He's basically a mascot for a holiday called Christmas.

[carbonfrozen]

he's a terrible mascot

what kind of holiday has a fat man in a suit who's either based off of a saint or the spirit of Christmas or the symbol of greed as a mascot

[bespin]

Just let the nice people have their weird holiday.

[carbonfrozen]

I AM

I'm just asking questions that's all

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[vanto]

That thing on the roof does not look festive.

[carbonfrozen]

it looks even more like Jabba the Hutt than this Santa Claus usually does

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[littlemissfutility]

you don't have santa claus where you come from????
do you still have christmas or do you do something else???

[carbonfrozen]

we ain't got a christmas or a santa claus in my galaxy we're generally too busy to celebrate much

we do have Life Day, but that's based more on Kashyyyk and it doesn't involve a fat man in a suit with hyperdrive reindeer

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[articulations]

Don't you ever sleep? Do you need me to come over there and tuck you in?

[carbonfrozen]

I sleep plenty

welcome back to the network by the way

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[doubleblind]

I think people have you covered on who he is, but I'll tell you about the reindeer. They pull his sleigh. His flying sleigh that can visit all the children in the world in just one night.

[carbonfrozen]

there are

so many

logistical problems in that one sentence I have no clue where to start

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[kanyounot]

Help a blind guy out.

What's a "reindeer".

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[carbonfrozen]

they're a little like tauntauns but with four legs and the tusks aren't tusks they're on top of their heads instead

[exceptionalthief]

That's the American god of corporate greed. Don't stare at the lights, they'll hypnotize you into spending all your money on gifts everyone will hate.

[Guess who else is bored?]

[carbonfrozen]

all right what is he because I'm getting fed up

is he the spirit of christmas

is he a saint

is he a symbol of capitalism

is he a god of corporate greed

make up your damn minds

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[ghoulking]

He doesn't truly exist, it's just a story for the holiday.

The reindeer sort of have their own story too.

[carbonfrozen]

well now this one I gotta hear

[onlydoubts]

Something like, he brings presents to children, I think?

Not sure about the reindeer. Or the lights, but they're nice looking. The little ones, I mean.

[carbonfrozen]

yeah somebody already said that

apparently they're magic reindeer that can fly

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[caduceusvalkyrie]

Where I'm from we call him Samichlaus and he doesn't have a sleigh or reindeer but a donkey instead.

Everyone else has pretty much covered Santa Claus though.

[carbonfrozen]

that's

that's even worse than the sleigh