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[carbonfrozen]

what's a Santa Claus and what does he have to do with all these fancy lights people keep stringing up

[Attached is a picture of some random house decorated with Christmas lights. There's a neon Santa Claus on the rooftop. It's a very old neon Santa Claus, significant portions of his body, sled and reindeer are just not lighting up.

Did we also mention that it's late at night and Han Solo's bored out of his skull?]

why does he need a sled and whatever those things are

they're reindeer right??

[So bored.]

Comments

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[notayoungman]

Capitalism.

[ He can't help it if he's a scrooge and all of this Christmas nonsense is making him more irritated than usual. ]

[carbonfrozen]

how is that an answer

[notayoungman]

He used to be a legend about charity. Now he's an icon of greed and capitalism.

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[reek]

I was led to believe he was someone's god of sorts.

[ I mean, no one ever confirmed he wasn't. ]

id: marya.

[ewenique]

do you understand how internet search functions work

[carbonfrozen]

you sound bitter about him

what did he do, run your grandmother over

[carbonfrozen]

don't look like a god to me

you'd think if they worshiped him they'd take better care of their symbols

[carbonfrozen]

yeah but this is more fun

[notayoungman]

Are you under 12 and believe a fat man can deliver gifts to every house on the planet in one night?

[carbonfrozen]

way over twelve standard years

and no, not unless he has a hyperdrive and a ship that can take the strain of going into lightspeed in atmo and calculate a route that won't send him into a mountain

[notayoungman]

[ Are you showing off, Han? ]

Then he's the symbol of capitalism and greed that people try to pass off as "the spirit of Christmas."

[ewenique]

( ok dude )

santa claus is a modern reimagining and bringing together of different cultural traditions.

in norwegian folklore there were stories a demonic figure that would steal children, luring them away with gifts and candy. over time, however, he was reworked into benevolent figure.

[carbonfrozen]

[yyyyyyep.]

and what would you say's the spirit of Christmas then

whatever Christmas is

[notayoungman]

You ever hear of the internet?

[carbonfrozen]

okay so he went from creepy to less creepy over the years

what's the reindeer and the lights got to do with any of that though

[carbonfrozen]

so what you're telling me is that the internet's the spirit of Christmas

is that right

[Yeah, he is just trolling this guy right now.]

[notayoungman]

Are you an idiot?

[ewenique]

No, that was a lie. One of the risks with this method of gathering information. Make sure to cross-check information you receive when you make such inquiries.

My research suggests Santa Claus is derived from St. Nicholas of Myra and St. Nicholas of Sinterklaas, both figures in Dutch folklore. Traditionally both rode white horses. The reindeer came into popular imagination in the 1800s.

[carbonfrozen]

just answer the damn question it can't be that hard

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[momchester]

the lights are for a holiday, christmas.

santa is a guy who on christmas eve brings toys and presents to all the kids in the world.

[notayoungman]

Look it up. Then come back and say that.

[ He's not even being cranky grandpa. Even a short version of what Christmas is, the meaning of certain things, and why a fat man in red suit with magical reindeer is somehow involved, is just too much to explain to someone from another universe. ]

[carbonfrozen]

oh

yeah I'll give you that, at least I know better for next time

so he traded in the horses for the reindeer? if you ask me he downgraded, should've gotten a real ship instead

and the lights??

( text )

[fettering]

christmas is the best!! the lights are always really pretty
santas just a fun tradition for children
but hes based on a christian saint!

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[perfectible]

He's basically a mascot for a holiday called Christmas.

[carbonfrozen]

[Should he. Should he laugh about that, because even if he's never heard of this Santa Claus, he's pretty sure no one can bring presents to literally every child in the whole world. You'd need a ship, something that can speed up the journey (like a hyperdrive), a constantly-updating list of children and their addresses, so many things that the logistics of Santa Claus is impossible.

Or, you know what, he's bored. Why not.]

sounds like a real stand-up guy to me if he's going to all that trouble

but just kids? really?