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[carbonfrozen]

what's a Santa Claus and what does he have to do with all these fancy lights people keep stringing up

[Attached is a picture of some random house decorated with Christmas lights. There's a neon Santa Claus on the rooftop. It's a very old neon Santa Claus, significant portions of his body, sled and reindeer are just not lighting up.

Did we also mention that it's late at night and Han Solo's bored out of his skull?]

why does he need a sled and whatever those things are

they're reindeer right??

[So bored.]

Comments

[carbonfrozen]

you sound bitter about him

what did he do, run your grandmother over

[notayoungman]

Are you under 12 and believe a fat man can deliver gifts to every house on the planet in one night?

[carbonfrozen]

way over twelve standard years

and no, not unless he has a hyperdrive and a ship that can take the strain of going into lightspeed in atmo and calculate a route that won't send him into a mountain

[notayoungman]

[ Are you showing off, Han? ]

Then he's the symbol of capitalism and greed that people try to pass off as "the spirit of Christmas."

[carbonfrozen]

[yyyyyyep.]

and what would you say's the spirit of Christmas then

whatever Christmas is

[notayoungman]

You ever hear of the internet?

[carbonfrozen]

so what you're telling me is that the internet's the spirit of Christmas

is that right

[Yeah, he is just trolling this guy right now.]

[notayoungman]

Are you an idiot?

[carbonfrozen]

just answer the damn question it can't be that hard

[notayoungman]

Look it up. Then come back and say that.

[ He's not even being cranky grandpa. Even a short version of what Christmas is, the meaning of certain things, and why a fat man in red suit with magical reindeer is somehow involved, is just too much to explain to someone from another universe. ]

[carbonfrozen]

yeah but I'm asking you aren't I

[Too bad, Han is going to get that explanation out of 76 whether he likes it or not.]

[notayoungman]

You're asking the wrong person.

[ Good luck, he's about 2 seconds from muting this and walking away. ]

[carbonfrozen]

what, so you don't really know if the internet's the spirit of Christmas

[notayoungman]

No. But I know you're an idiot.

[carbonfrozen]

and you're not helping if you're just going to backtrack on what you said earlier

[notayoungman]

Learn to use the internet, kid. Or you're dead in the water.

[carbonfrozen]

I'll let you in on a secret

I've been here for months of course I know how to use the Internet

but this is funnier

[notayoungman]

Then we're done here.

[ Aaaaaand muted. Because he can't angrily hang up on text. ]