maskormenace | THE MAJORITY REPORT: JANUARY 10TH, 2018

THE MAJORITY REPORT: JANUARY 10TH, 2018The federal government has cooled to the usual airways between imPort officials and their communications; there is a palpable mistrust of imPort competency thanks to the recent issue with the Porter. Rumor has it that the Virginia, Florida, North Carolina, and Pennsylvania state governors are trying to spin the misadventure in an "accidents happen" way, but it's difficult to maneuver. General positive opinions of imPorts has taken a nose dive,
and residents who once supported imPorts wholeheartedly now have second thoughts.

DIO-MONDS ARE FOREVER
As seen on social media, imPort news websites, and news stations in the Porter cities:
ImPort entertainer and semi-professional rabble-rouser Count Dooku has involved himself in politics yet again, releasing an online statement endorsing vampiric lawyer Dio Brando for the position of Maurtia Falls Ambassador. In the statement, Dooku describes Dio Brando as an "inspiring and trustworthy figure who I know will fight tirelessly for change," and encourages all imPorts who desire progress to vote for him in the current elections.

Followers of imPort politics may remember that Count Dooku once ran himself for Maurtia Falls Ambassador in 2016, only to see his 'Reform' platform crushed by the campaign of current Mayor Petyr Baelish, and by Komasan, a talking ghost dog who promised the city free soft cream.

#SNOWBLAKE
As seen, in abstract form, on some Theology and imPort related blogs, and rotation on academic Bwitter:
An article titled "Imports and a Study of the Fates" recently came out of the Heropa suburbs recently. Adjunct professor at Heropa Central College, Dr. David Blake -- a recent import -- writes a detailed history on the nature of the "Grecian Fates", named Clotho, Lachesis and Atropos. Much of what he writes is speculative, determining the nature of the fates with regards to import imprisonment.

"While not much is clear on the nature of why imports have been brought here, even in the short time since I have arrived, the name Lachesis was given to me within my first days. Lachesis, the one who measured the strings of fate -- and I was told that we are hated by the oldest, Atropos. Not just because we cannot die, but because of a feud between the fates.

Interestingly enough, from other accounts through the import Network, cataloging public mentions by longtime imports, I wonder if perhaps we should approach this like the oldest of the fates is a force of nature --"

After the abstract was released, the full text was picked up by "Grecian Lightning" a theology publication, and the professor promises it will be available in full next month.

PITCHY PERFECT
As seen reported by Brenda via TMI:
Was this an infamous Count Dooku citing? Bwitter celebrity "Daoy" claimed to have witnessed the imPort moving down the main coastline of Topsail Beach in North Carolina.

"Yeah, he was rockin' -- uh, rockin' and rollin'. Down to the beach was strollin'."

But the seagulls? Were they poking his head? Not fun! Pressed on the seagulls:

"Mm," said Daoy. "Stop it now."

ODAMN
As seen on the TMI website:
ODIN OR WODEN? Who is the TRUE King of Asgard? Who's the One-Eyed Daddy to rule them all?? The Wise Wanderer? Who's the Allfather and who's the Don't Bother? Midgird your loins and settle an era-spanning dispute! Vote below in our official TMI poll!

CODE SWITCH
The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from BIFROSTY to DISAPPOINTMENT GRAY. The President isn't angry, she's just... Disappointed.

WANT TO SUBMIT TO THE MAJORITY REPORT?
The Majority Report comes out the 10th and 20th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th and the 19th for the corresponding dates.

THE MAJORITY REPORT: JANUARY 10TH, 2018

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