maskormenace | (no subject)

Entry tags:

(no subject)

[ Kylo's expression is tight, his eyes intensely sharp- and those who have seen him before will note something else, too. His face is scarred- a long, neatly healed line running right over it, from his brow down to his neck. ]

~~Thankfully,~~ he hasn't taken his clothing off for the occasion. ]

I'm back.

[ That's it. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Pride.

He weighs that up for a moment. It's a point of difference between them. He feels it now, when he is strong, yes. And Snoke had soothed his pain with promises of greatness.
But he had never believed himself stronger than the darkness. No, his fall had been to fear and despair.
He had fallen to the Dark because he had always known it was stronger than he was.

But he says nothing.
He doesn't comment either on Anakin's perception of the Light, and how it differs from his own- he isn't ready to put that pain into words. Not yet. ]

We can work through it. Together. Find answers for ourselves without relying on the Jedi or the Sith.

[Anakin reaches out and rests his left hand against Kylo's cheek, opening his mind for Kylo to easily see a memory from his childhood. It occurs before the Jedi come into his life - back when he is too little to do much of anything except aid his mother in her work as a slave. Yet, oddly, as Anakin goes about tidying a back room filled with ship parts, there is a...presence...about him. His stare is direct, unashamed as he spies on customers and eavesdrops on conversations. This is how he learns.

But each day is long and hard. It really is no wonder he hates the sand; it gets on everything he just cleaned and makes him so, so thirsty. Yet still their "Master" yells orders, forgetting sometimes that such a young child needs breaks and needs to eat. He feels angry even then, knowing, somehow, that he is meant for more than this and every time he thinks about raising a fist, Shmi appears.

The Light around her is so strong and warm. Her smile is the loveliest thing in all the galaxy to her little son. He runs to her, grabbing onto her hand and searching for new cuts or bruises. He knows that sometimes she is beaten. Just like him.

Yet her voice is strong. She is a mother first and foremost though Anakin knows she never sought to have a child.

"It's dinner time. He is done for the day."

Then her arms lift him, cradling him against her heart. He fears she will be reprimanded, but at the same time... He is so grateful for her. She is his world.

Anakin breaks the contact and smiles faintly, sadly.]

She was my first Light. Everything started going wrong after I lost her.

[ Kylo smiles softly as he slips back out of Anakin's memories- something of Anakin's mother lingers within him after the images fade. ]

She's the beginning of the pattern, isn't she. She... personified it for you. The Light. Like Padmé does.

She encouraged you. Inspired you.

I guess so. There are parts of Padmé that remind me of her and she is definitely as important to me.

[Gentle, strong female presences have a great effect on him. Even as Vader, he is drawn to Leia without knowing why - at first.]

She should have come with me when I was accepted as a Padawan. The rules should have been broken.

It makes no sense to me. Did the Order condone slavery? Why would they forbid you from taking her with you?

They condoned not interfering unless there was a reason. [He never agreed with the tactic either.] Jedi were supposed to be peace keepers; I always wanted to be more of a defender or rescuer.

The Jedi are hypocrites. Every one. They interfered when it suited their purposes. [ Yeah. He's not a fan. ] They failed you. Their rules are foolish and short-sighted.

Some of them are better than others. [But their ideals... They're not realistic.] I failed them too. I should have been honest with at least Obi-Wan.

What would any of them had done if you had? They had no realistic teachings on the Dark Side. They had no answers for you. Obi-Wan would have offered you nothing but empty platitudes. Directions to be careful of your feelings.

[ He might be projecting a little here. Possibly. But honestly? He believes every word he's saying. ]

By insisting you reject everything of the Dark Side when we both know it is impossible to wipe out, they left you no alternative but to seek the knowledge of a Sith Lord. They drove you to his feet with their arrogance and narrow-minded self-righteousness.

[He can't exactly say Kylo is wrong, but there is one part his grandson might be missing.]

Obi-Wan cares about me. If I had told him everything, he would have found a way to help me. I didn't even give him a chance to try because I assumed it would be exactly like you said. He was - is - my Master, but we've been family for a long time. I think if he saw how...much...everything was affecting me, he would have acted. Sidious would have been found out.

[Instead he had almost opened up to Padmé. What could she do?]

I agree that it's wrong to pretend it's this...forbidden thing. You need the Dark to see the Light. Why fear it when, in small doses, it can be used to provide balance?

Maybe he would. Maybe he would have tried. But he didn't know how to help you. Nothing he had been taught could have prepared him for it. The Jedi teachings failed him as they failed you.

[ And Luke. But... he's not going to touch that. ]

And me.

Fear of the Dark Side is still fear.

Yeah, they did. Ideals are inflexible; not everyone can achieve them. We don't live in a perfect galaxy, so... The Jedi were doomed to fail.

[It all sounds so good and mysterious on paper. In practice, it's a convoluted mess.]

You're right. The only way to get over a fear is to face it.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only