maskormenace | 3 ⚡ TEXT

UN: FLASH

[ for the first time since his arrival, the flash graces the network at lunchtime. it's a good thing this isn't paper-based. there'd be crumbs everywhere ... as well as ketchup and a soft drink stain. the flash may be the fastest man alive, but he's still a klutz. ]

ROGUES WANTED

SEEKING: ROGUES SPECIALIZING IN COLD, HEAT, BAD JOKES, MUSIC* TO KEEP THE FLASH ON HIS TOES AND IN FIT CONDITION FOR COLD, HEATWAVE, TRICKSTER, AND PIPER TO RETURN.

MUST HAVE: GREAT SENSES OF HUMOR, ABILITY TO ACCEPT PEP TALKS, ABILITY TO GIVE PEP TALKS, AND ROGUES WHO ARE COMFORTABLE COMING OVER FOR CHRISTMAS AND BIRTHDAY CELEBRATIONS

THINK YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO BE A ROGUE? LET US KNOW NOW! AND BY US I MEAN JUST THE FLASH

NAME:

GENERATION:

TOP 5 SKILLS

TOP 5 WEAKNESSES

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN THE "ENEMY"** OF A "HERO"*** BEFORE?

FAVORITE BEYONCE SONG?

WHICH SPICE GIRL ARE YOU MORE LIKE?

HOBBIES?

ARE YOU USEFUL AT RELOCATING MEMORIES? ASKING FOR A FRIEND:

* THE FLASH HAS LOST ALL OF HIS ROGUES :'( I LOVE YOU GUYS
** ENEMY IS DEFINED AS SOMEONE WHO LIKES TO PULL THE METAPHORICAL PIGTAILS OF THE FLASH, NOT SOMEONE WHO IS TRULY AN ENEMY OR A BAD PERSON
*** HERO IS DEFINED AS SOMEONE WHO THE ROGUES THINK OF AS A HERO, NOT SOMEONE WHO IS BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE

[ if you want to apply, fill in this easy-to-fill in form:

please note that acceptance as a rogue doesn't guarantee you will be invited to his vip beyonce concert tour. this right is reserved for iris west-allen and his original rogues ... ]

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Nothing is WRONG
It's just

[ there is the longest unnatural pause for barry allen. is he googling the thesaurus to try and figure out how to say "wrong" but in a way that doesn't say "wrong"? perhaps ... in truth, he's just figuring out how to even say it to his reflection. in the interim, barry manages to swap from "the flash" to "barry allen". ]

Not there

I think it's Speed Force Flu or something
I've finally stopped running and all of a sudden
WHAM
Germs and sinus explosions

[ that's just hay fever and people being nasty about their sneezing. ]

wow allen I do at least two out of those three things on a regular basis, but you give me all sorts of crap for it.

[not that ralph likes to annoy people, because he doesn't! but the point still stands. ralph's starting to think he's being treated worse than the bad guys!]

Edited 2018-03-05 23:19 (UTC)

yeah but shouldn't we still be glad they're gone? i mean, okay, maybe they were """"nice"""" or whatever but they were still criminals, weren't they? did they even want to stop committing heinous crimes?

Unless you want to finish up my paperwork for me....

[ don't seriously take her up on this. ]

[The initial reply taking so long is already sending off warning bells for Hal. Barry's never on time when it comes to meeting up, but he's always prompt with his messages.]

Is the relocating memories thing about yourself? What happened?

Yeah???

Literally all of them (except Snart) had been reformed. Piper devoted his time to a bunch of charities; Trickster ran a bar that's probably now for grabs; and Mick was way more interested in having a latte than setting a fire.

Is...this a joke? Who asks for enemies?

I have no idea what that means.

…oh.

[oops.]

so. it's a real shame those guys are gone! and i am very, *very* sorry for your loss.

[ oops is right . . . ]

uh-huh 😐

Look, the least you could do is help me and Barry sort through their stuff. Visit us at the Barcade later?

[he's having flashbacks. does she have the "you ruined my honeymoon and i'm going to kill you look?"

help.]

yes, of course. sure thing boss. [he might have saluted after he sent that.] i will definitely do that.

Appreciated. :)

Just in case you haven't been, here's the address and how to get there via the Metro.

[ Thanks to Schmoogle Maps, she can attach the directions and the address with zero problems! ]

NAME Gina

GENERATION: Greatest, but not the old one. The one everyone is currently nostalgic for and rebooting.

TOP 5 SKILLS:
1. Dancing that transcends words
2. Impeccable music taste
3. Encyclopedic knowledge of famous social media stars
4. Can make a flamethrower out of hairspray and a lighter
5. Solve everyone's problems by my rational point of view

TOP 5 WEAKNESSES:
1. Care too much
2. Work too hard
3. Being 110% on fleek means I break math regularly
4. I can be lured into talking about how endlessly fascinating my life is instead of my plans
5. j/k I get that stuff out of the way before my dramatic entrances

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN THE "ENEMY" OF A "HERO" BEFORE? I have been both a savior and bane to the local police force when the mood suits me. I have also gotten into Twitter fights with that Crocodile Dundee guy and come out un-knifed.

FAVORITE BEYONCE SONG? This must be a trick question if you can't even give us a distinguishing moment between Destiny's Child, Sacha Fierce, or other Beyonce movements.

But the answer is "Run the World (Girls)"

WHICH SPICE GIRL ARE YOU MORE LIKE? Posh but with a little Scary for flavoring.

HOBBIES: Hobbies are things people say they do when they can only be a mediocre B at them. I have hob-A+'s

ARE YOU USEFUL AT RELOCATING MEMORIES? ASKING FOR A FRIEND: No, but I can make you forget any immediate task by replacing it with a loop of catchy music.

Learn to take it? I don't even--

You know what? Whatever.

BRB.

Bar, this is serious.
have you told anyone else about this? Iris?

It's fine
I don't want anyone worrying about me
I'm fine
I can walk in a straight line and touch my nose at the same time

[ translation: no he hasn't, because he's barry "i suck" allen. ]

BEFORE YOU MAKE ME FORGET ANY IMMEDIATE TASK
HOW DID YOU GET OUR OF A FIGHT UN-KNIFED BY THE CROCODILE DUNDEE?

[ did you just block paul hogan, gina ... ]

Edited (woah i forgot i had to SCREAM THIS. what a boyle thing to do.) 2018-03-18 01:47 (UTC)

[ thank god he can distract steve harrington with beyonce-isms! ]

ALL THE SINGLE LADIES
(ALL THE SINGLE LADIES)
ALL THE SINGLE LADIES
(ALL THE SINGLE LADIES)

WITH THE WRIST SHAKE?
NOT RINGING ANY BELLS?

[ barry really does consider telling hal nothing is wrong, but ... ]

A LOT OF STUFF HAPPENED
BEYONCE LEFT DESTINY'S CHILD
JOE WEST HATES ME
I CAN'T REMEMBER IRIS' FAVORITE FLOWER
I DOUBT IT'S IRIS
THAT'S TOO ON THE NOSE
I STILL LIVE AT HOME

A LOT OF THINGS HAVE HAPPENED, HAL :(

[ they may not be friends in the earth-1 universe, but barry's gut, which fluctuates at the best of times, is telling him to throw these balls at hall and see which one sticks ... hal seems to know him. no one knows barry allen is the flash except everyone who knows barry allen is the flash! ]

[ the text comes without any room for iris' message to breathe. ]

PASS

I MEAN
THANK YOU KINDLY FOR THE OFFER
BUT NO THANK YOU
MY PENMANSHIP IS NOT WHAT IT USED TO BE

DID YOU LAUGH? I HEAR THAT'S HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

I'M NOT /ASKING/ FOR ENEMIES
I AM ASKING FOR PEOPLE TO CHALLENGE ME
KEEP ME ON MY TOES
ENSURE I DON'T GET PUDGEY LOVE HANDLES AGAIN LIKE I DID LAST WEEK
IF THAT INVOLVES THE CHANCE OF BEING SET ON FIRE ... THEN OK

Oh I get you. Well I can't shoot fire, frost or anything but bullets, so I might be pretty much useless to you I think.

SHOOTING BULLETS ... COULD ALWAYS USE SOMEONE TRYING TO SHOOT ME EVERY SECOND THURSDAY
WHAT POWERS DID YOU GET HERE?

Every second Thursday? Your being shot at schedule that packed?

I'm hard to kill, apparently even harder than I was, I can do all kinds of stuff I shouldn't know how to do, and people can't read my mind.

You?

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text; cisco's super secret encryption

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