maskormenace | 3 ⚡ TEXT

UN: FLASH

[ for the first time since his arrival, the flash graces the network at lunchtime. it's a good thing this isn't paper-based. there'd be crumbs everywhere ... as well as ketchup and a soft drink stain. the flash may be the fastest man alive, but he's still a klutz. ]

ROGUES WANTED

SEEKING: ROGUES SPECIALIZING IN COLD, HEAT, BAD JOKES, MUSIC* TO KEEP THE FLASH ON HIS TOES AND IN FIT CONDITION FOR COLD, HEATWAVE, TRICKSTER, AND PIPER TO RETURN.

MUST HAVE: GREAT SENSES OF HUMOR, ABILITY TO ACCEPT PEP TALKS, ABILITY TO GIVE PEP TALKS, AND ROGUES WHO ARE COMFORTABLE COMING OVER FOR CHRISTMAS AND BIRTHDAY CELEBRATIONS

THINK YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO BE A ROGUE? LET US KNOW NOW! AND BY US I MEAN JUST THE FLASH

NAME:

GENERATION:

TOP 5 SKILLS

TOP 5 WEAKNESSES

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN THE "ENEMY"** OF A "HERO"*** BEFORE?

FAVORITE BEYONCE SONG?

WHICH SPICE GIRL ARE YOU MORE LIKE?

HOBBIES?

ARE YOU USEFUL AT RELOCATING MEMORIES? ASKING FOR A FRIEND:

* THE FLASH HAS LOST ALL OF HIS ROGUES :'( I LOVE YOU GUYS
** ENEMY IS DEFINED AS SOMEONE WHO LIKES TO PULL THE METAPHORICAL PIGTAILS OF THE FLASH, NOT SOMEONE WHO IS TRULY AN ENEMY OR A BAD PERSON
*** HERO IS DEFINED AS SOMEONE WHO THE ROGUES THINK OF AS A HERO, NOT SOMEONE WHO IS BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE

[ if you want to apply, fill in this easy-to-fill in form:

please note that acceptance as a rogue doesn't guarantee you will be invited to his vip beyonce concert tour. this right is reserved for iris west-allen and his original rogues ... ]

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

I TRY AND KEEP IT TO EVERY SECOND THURSDAY SO MY WIFE GIRLFRIEND PERSON DOESN'T GET MAD

INVINCIBILITY? SWEET

I HAVE
TYPE IN RED FONT AND CAPITAL LETTERS
SUPER SPEED

Ah. Yeah once you get a wife girlfriend person the leash shortens a bit I hear.

I don't think I'm invincible, just hard to kill yeah? But super speed? That sounds pretty amazing. How fast?

NOT MY WIFE GIRLFRIEND PERSON
SHE'S PRETTY COOL

SUPER FAST!
FASTER THAN A SPEEDING BULLET!
PROBABLY THE SPEED OF LIGHT BUT I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER RACED IT

I WOULD LOVE TO BE HARD TO KILL
NOT THAT MY ROGUES DON'T TRY TO KILL ME, BUT THEY NEVER SEEM TO DO IT ON PURPOSE THESE DAYS
DO PEOPLE TRY AND KILL YOU A LOT?

Seriously? You're not fucking with me right? So I could tell you where I am and you could be here like a second later?

Not since I got here, but back home? Fuck man, all the time. I've been shot, stabbed, hit with a bat and run over. Check it.

[Included is a photo of Alex's stomach and hips, with a myriad of small scars and a larger one near her right hip.]

YOU COULD SAY I'D BE THERE IN A
FLASH

DUDE
IT MAKES SENSE THEY'D GIVE YOU A BADASS POWER
ALTHOUGH I REALLY HOPE THAT YOU GETTING HURT SO MUCH STOPS
LEGIT STOPS
HOW DID YOU RECOVER FROM ALL OF THAT?

I'm at the waterfront park in Maurtia Falls...Recceter park. Read hair, black hoodie. I have to see this.

Time mostly. In one case five years of recuperation. [Yeah it's less fun to talk about that part. Or the betrayal that preceeded it.]

[ within seconds of reading her message, there's a crackling of kinetic energy around the park. coming up the streets is a streak of golden-yellow light. approaching her, it wraps around her a couple of times, bringing warm energy and wind with him. leaving as quickly as it came, she'll find this earth's version of a mcdonald's happy meal box by her feet. ]

[ almost like he hadn't even left where he sat, his message comes quick. ]

TIME HEALS ALL WOUNDS, RIGHT?
HOPEFULLY YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT IT HERE
AND IF YOU DO, AT LEAST YOU'VE GOT AN ALLY

I HOPE YOU DON'T HAVE THAT TOY FYI

Holy shit. Holy SHIT! That was fucking AMAZING! That's so fucking awesome, you could go anywhere and do anything!

Hey, you're not, perchance, interested in being the Lieutenant in the new chapter of a Gang?

[Oh Alex. You are SO barking up the wrong tree.]

WHAT KIND OF GANG?
IS THERE A QUESTIONNAIRE?
I'LL BE REALLY HONEST
I CAN MAKE UP THE QUESTIONNAIRES BUT I AM REALLY BAD AT FILLING THEM OUT
SHORT ATTENTION SPAN
OR QUICK ATTENTION SPAN, ACCORDING TO MY BRAND

I DOUBT YOU KNOW HOW TO START A FIRE

[ ralph did just admit to being annoying and being a bad joker, barry ... no need to rub it in, right? ]

YOU TWEETED HIM, RIGHT? I FIND THAT'S THE ONLY WAY TO REALLY EXPRESS YOURSELF
@JIMBOJIMGORDON YOU SUCK

YOU'LL PROBABLY HAVE TO RAIN CHECK THAT COMPLAINT
OR PUT IT IN A BOX
MY ROGUES ARE GONE :(
ALL OF THEM
THE HOT ONE, THE COOL ONE, THE FUNNY ONE, THE TALENTED ONE
GONE!

[ he thinks about that one for a moment. ]

YOU MEAN LIKE FLYNN RYDER?
THE PEOPLE WHO CAN SMOULDER WITHOUT EVEN TRYING?

[He can't tell if it's the capslock that makes this look panicky or if he's genuinely freaking out.]

If you show up to your date on time Iris won't even care about flowers.

[That's the only thing he's got. He can't help with anything else.]

with matches! duh allen literally *everyone* knows that.

[...maybe ralph deserves to have it rubbed in a little.]

[how convenient! look at ralph make good use of that metro card iris and barry (mostly iris) got him!]

the frisky nickel, huh? sounds neat. i'll definitely make sure to be there.

[on time! probably. maybe. not more than ten minutes late, max...]

You know, like a gang gang. Money, fame, women, the whole nine yards. I ran that most successful gang ever back home, and I'm kinda thinking I want to start a chapter here. [She's not big on humility, our Alex.]

I'm not sure what that is, but rest assured that he knows how I feel about him.

What a selection you have. Or used to have, I suppose. Where would I fit in?

HMM
HOW TALL ARE YOU?

183 cm or 6'0''

You are like a crazy person, aren't you?

I figured as much.

So should I put the paperwork aside for a little bit or do you want to finish those ribs first?

[ what makes you think he isn't on his second lot of ribs, west-allen? ]

HOW MANY RIBS CAN I FIT IN BEFORE YOU'RE DONE?
AND IS THERE TIME FOR ICE-CREAM IN THE CONE?

Obvs can't tell you everything but it involved Rebel Wilson, purposefully mixing up alligators with crocodiles, screencaps from Neighbours and a timely meme about drop bears.

Also when he said to meet me out back, I said "Outback where, bogan?" and then gave him my coordinates as 1 Police Plaza. Then DM him a pic of the burliest sergeant in my precinct for backup.

Edited (the Boyle enthusiasm is real and I had to fix grammar) 2018-03-20 05:06 (UTC)

[ gina, you are his favourite. ]

OKAY
YOU ARE CLEARLY A ROGUE THAT SHOULDN'T BE MESSED WITH

DID HE SHOW UP?
I GOTTA KNOW
I WON'T BE ABLE TO SLEEP IF I DON'T

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text; team flash encryption because wow don't tell the truth like this

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text; team flash encryption because i'll do what i wanna so there

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