💣 014 | audio

[devoutish]

Right, well, now that that's sorted, I suppose I'll be the one to ask - has this infringed on everyone's plans for Passover? The timing was unfortunate, wasn't it; an entire week taken up by a day repeating itself over and over again makes it difficult to prepare a seder, what with us all being very busy with our murdering and setting wild dogs loose in the streets.

[Seriously, somebody tell him what the deal with the feral dog mutants was; that had not been fun.]

Ah, but some of you must be celebrating your first Passover here. That's very exciting. It's a very big, very important holiday, and I'm sure you've seen how imPorts get caught up with celebrating the Earth holidays here - yeah, we do Christmas, we do New Year's, we do Valentine's. Now, has anyone got a spare ka’arah that I might borrow? Mine was destroyed by a wild dog.

[ (No, not really.)

Alfie delivers the post completely straight, but he's absolutely poking light fun at the ubiquitous holiday posts that tend to crop up at certain times of the year. It's time to get in on the fun himself - if only to make people go "???", because making people go "???" is his goal roughly 60% of the time.]

Comments

voice;

[aberrant_type]

[Shit son she is so genuinely curious though]

What are you talking about? You're religious?

video;

[deadkord]

Oh, shit, I knew I was forgetting about something.

video.

[littlemissfutility]

I guess it's my first Passover ever. [She's not exactly in on his larger joke, but the sentiment of the video seems good-natured enough. Per usual, she's wrapped up in a scarf to her chin, giving a self-conscious little smile as she adds,] Well. We had Passover at my church once, to learn about it, but none of us were really Jewish.

voice;

[devoutish]

Eh? What am I talking about? You don't know?

[This is a tsk, tsk moment, clearly.]

video;

[devoutish]

Did murdering take up too much space in your head, or were you not one of those, mate?

video.

[devoutish]

Why did you have Passover, then?

[That seems a little odd to him.]

[littlemissfutility]

So we knew what Jewish people did.

[Maybe it is--she hadn't questioned it at the time.]

We were talking about Moses and stuff anyway, so... [A little shrug.]

[devoutish]

Mm. Never heard of anything like that, myself. Churches on my world, they've all got their own things.

[littlemissfutility]

We did, too. [Another little shrug.] Easter and Christmas and everything.

[devoutish]

Ah, Easter, yeah; that one's coming up soon as well, isn't it.

[littlemissfutility]

Mm-hmm. On Sunday. I'm gonna dye eggs this weekend.

[devoutish]

They've got something with a rabbit as well now, haven't they.

[littlemissfutility]

Yeah--the Easter Bunny brings them. [It occurs to her that what she knows about Passover feels about as vague as a rabbit and eggs have something to do with Easter right now.] Are you gonna do anything for Passover? Besides the, uh, the seder?

[devoutish]

Do you know what a seder is?

[There's a hint of teasing in his voice - not malicious teasing, really, but teasing all the same.]

[littlemissfutility]

The dinner part. With the herbs, and... [She gestures vaguely. That's about it.]

[devoutish]

A feast. Yeah. With sacrifices and whatnot.

[Again, not really. Animal sacrifices are pretty rare even in his day, especially in big cities like his home city of London, and that goes doubly so for America in 2018.]

[littlemissfutility]

Yeah.

[That's close enough to what she recalls of it for her purposes--and sacrifices seem a little less crazy to someone who spent two years stabbing corpses in the head.]

That's the main part of the holiday, right? The dinner.

[devoutish]

[He almost says "no, the sacrifices", but she's being so earnest and reasonable that he decides to not be a shithead here.]

Mm, yeah. It's got ceremony of all sorts involved in it. That'll be tomorrow night, after sundown.

[littlemissfutility]

It sounds nice.

[Earnest is how she rolls--and anyway, who's going to turn up their nose at anything that can be described as a feast?]

Do you have people to celebrate with?

[devoutish]

Not like I would at home.

[A year and a half spent here and he's still going to pointedly slip that in wherever he possibly can.]

But I spend Passover with the rabbi of the synagogue I attend, and his family.

[littlemissfutility]

[She makes a little noise of agreement--the details might differ, but that feeling of strangeness, knowing everyone you care about exist someplace out of reach, is as familiar as blinking.]

That's good. Being alone for holidays sucks.

[A pause.]

...Do you say "Happy Passover" to people, or something else?

[devoutish]

Chag Pesach Sameach.

[Beat.]

It means "Happy Passover".

[More or less.]

[littlemissfutility]

[She breathes out, something like a laugh.]

Chag Pesach Sameach.

[The ch, she struggles on, which makes it kind of a tough phrase to pick up--but she does try.]

I better stick to Happy Passover.

[devoutish]

[He demonstrates that throaty sound for her a couple of times - through really, he anglicizes the pronunciation himself sometimes when speaking in English, particularly with Pesach.]

Happy Passover's all right.

video;

[aviate]

Sorry, I haven't celebrated it in years.