THE MAJORITY REPORT: MAY 10TH, 2018

[maskormods]

THE MAJORITY REPORT: MAY 10TH, 2018Ambassador Galla will be running the next imPort Swear-In, and the usual tabloids are fluttering with speculation. -- and that shouldn't be a surprise! The government-approved media absolutely adores this particular imPort, what with prior CODE SWITCHES referring to her as a "silver fox". Imagine! In another decade, this would have been quite the scandal! Now that spring is turning cheek to summer, we are all wondering what this powerful imPort will do with her time in the limelight.

HEXUAL TENSION
As seen on imPort social media outlets linking back to the site proper:
The new imPort-run blog that has appeared online, maintained by Wanda Maximoff, "Hexts From Last Night", is starting to get submissions to it. Some imPorts haven't cared to make an anonymous submission, as imPort Han Solo posts on the site with: "my friend the Jedi doesn't want to help me find out if dogs are really gossiping to each other when they bark at each other."

Any imPorts who want to read or submit to the site are welcome to; go see what fellow imPorts have on their minds, or to confess to.

WEBBY OR NOT WEBBY THAT IS THE QUESTION
As heard online:
A new imPort-themed podcast had hit the scene! In the wake of a new wave of imPortmania (the kind that always tends to pool around the summer), a fresh podcast built entirely on BACKSTORY GUESSING and LORE BUILDING called MYTHOS AND LEGIONS PODCAST has ascended into trending popularity. Each Wednesday there's a new theme with a selection of imPorts who are discussed in detail by a HIP YET ACADEMIC panel. This last Wednesday showcased the theme of FATAL FLAW and featured discussion about HERR STARR, JUGHEAD JONES, PRINCESS ALLURA, and CLAUDIA.

Please be sure to rate it on PineApple podcasts!

WATER YOU HIDING
As seen in local Maurtia Falls police blotter:
SECRETS ARE LIKE WATER. THEY WILL HAVE YOU DROWNED.

Same message found in three different subterranean facilities throughout the city. 235118 Tite Ave W, 5208 Anne St, 5152015 Ionic Way. Basements and the first floors of all three building were intentionally flooded. Insurance fraud already ruled out. Vandalism, no leads.

Tite and Anne locations are both medical storage facilities. Ionic is a private residence. Family away on vacation.

CODE SWITCH
The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from LIKE HERBING CATS GREEN to PALE ROSE because Mother's Day is coming up.

WANT TO SUBMIT TO THE MAJORITY REPORT?
The Majority Report comes out the 10th and 20th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th and the 19th for the corresponding dates.

Comments

[halfblaked]

Oh! Perhaps this mythos and legions... "podcast" will be up my alley? Do you think they would talk to me? Perhaps we could learn something from one another.

[ A beat. ] Erm -- how does one download a podcast?

video ftr

[snarkbot]

You need a program or app. If you use a music player, check to see if it has a podcasts option. Alternatively, search the internet for something called a "podcatcher".

[halfblaked]

Oh! That sounds simp --

[ A beat. ]

You can listen to music on these?

[ HE'S OLD RIGHT? He can't use technology!! ]

I'm sorry, I always...had my son to help me with these things.

[snarkbot]

Yes, try looking through your apps. Though I have heard this world's music isn't to the taste of many imports. Depending on how similar your world is to mine, I have an extensive music library from my world downloaded, and I can pass on any songs you may miss.

[halfblaked]

You can? Is that -- er, legal? I'd hate to be going to jail for...illegal downloading, of all things!

[ Because he's so nice. He'd never do anything illegal! ]

I do miss some of the classics, I won't lie...

[snarkbot]

I can cross-reference the music you request with what exists in this world. If it does, you can simply download it legally. If it doesn't, I doubt anyone is going to come after you for music that was never created.

[halfblaked]

O -- Oh! Yes, I would very much like that. I've missed some of the more...obscure musics.

[ Well. Half dad rock, half things about those mythos and legions. ]

You really don't mind?

[snarkbot]

Not at all, sir. It'd only take moments of my time.
Feel free to send me a list.

( text. )

[divaricate]

👍👍👍
I'm going to be thinking about dog barks so differently now.

[yep, that's it, just three thumbs up emojis and a comment.]

text

[craftpunk]

"WE ARE THE OTO".

Heh. They need some better ciphers.

FROM THE OTO

[maskormods]

[This is, after all, public media.]


SHPX LBH JBQRA

[craftpunk]

Yes, please. :)

FROM THE OTO

[maskormods]

[l i n k]

[baphlement]

I can't believe you figured that out before Urdr.

[craftpunk]

Maybe she was pre-occupied. I wouldn't presume I'm smarter than her.

[ But yes, yes he thinks he is. ]

[baphlement]

That'll reassure her.

[craftpunk]

I'm sure that's precisely what she wants.
Validation from me.

[baphlement]

Delete this.

[craftpunk]

What? I'm just agreeing with you.

[baphlement]

helpmeobiwan.jpg

[craftpunk]

Rude!

[baphlement]

You're rude!

[lastofthebog]

Can you explain how you deduced that?

[craftpunk]

It's a simple 1Z26 cipher.

[lastofthebog]

[ There's a brief pause while she looks that up. Thanks Woden. ]

I see. A simple puzzle, but that does not explain what secrets they are referring to. Or why medical storage was targeted. What sort of medical items are stored there?

[craftpunk]

What, are you assuming I know? Or are you trying to use me as a soundboard?

Just so I know how to respond. I mean, I know I give off the supervillain vibe and everything, but...

[lastofthebog]

I had thought to use you as a sounding board since you showed some interest in the matter, but perhaps I will look elsewhere for someone less...ridiculous.

[ A super villain? Really?? ]

[craftpunk]

Hey, I said that I gave off the vibe. Most people don't engage me intellectually unless they have something to prove. So sue a guy for being cautious.

But as it stands, I'm sure there's a reason they targeted these specific locations.
Look at the names of the streets, too.

Tite-Anne-Ionic?

Titanic? Are they making a joke, or are they trying to say that they're going somewhere with this.

[lastofthebog]

Perhaps you do to people of this world. To me you are just a man in a strange suit. [ With a paranoid sense of grandiosity as far as she's able to tell. ] I've nothing I care to prove.

[ god bless the internet for answering every question about references she can't understand on her own. ]

It seems like an awful lot of effort to waste on a meaningless joke. I think it will be worth looking into.

[craftpunk]

Maybe it will be.

Or maybe they're fucking with us? I'm not particularly interested in figuring out this mystery. Do tell me if you have more codes, though. I can do that.

[lastofthebog]

I will certainly keep you in mind. Thank you for sharing the solution in the first place.

[craftpunk]

Oh, of course. Anything to help educate the people.

Audio

[lastofthebog]

What, exactly, is a "silver fox"?

[baphlement]

Means you're hot.

But like, in an old way.

[lastofthebog]

Oh. Yes, I suppose that is accurate.

[baphlement]

That's pretty cool. Getting your own color alert, I mean. Pretty cool I guess.

[It's Very Cool.]

[lastofthebog]

I hadn't noticed the first time they did it. It's certainly impressive how easily taken with a newcomer they can be.

[baphlement]

Is it every newcomer? Or just you?

[lastofthebog]

To catch the government's notice? Just me. However, I don't think that is a goal everyone should strive for.

[baphlement]

Good luck encouraging them. Looks like not everyone has your -- [What's an old people word for cool?] M...oxie?

[lastofthebog]

[ Well. At least it's a word she can guess the meaning for from context. ]

I suppose we shall see how well they still like me when I begin to call on them for improvements in their flawed systems.

[baphlement]

What if they're into that? Sexually?

[lastofthebog]

Well, sex can sometimes be more powerful than money when it comes to making deals.