( video ) » when death comes, you should be heaven's obsession

[divaricate]

✖ OOC NOTE: Spoilers for MCU's Avengers: Infinity War will be in this post. If you're still avoiding spoilers, don't click the cut below. ✖

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[Wanda is chilling on a high rooftop of a building in Maurtia Falls for this video, her device, as usual, levitated by her telekinetic powers; her hair is several shades lighter than her natural dark brown; there's a new scrape on that cuts across the left edge of her forehead and almost down to her eye, the wound still rather raw looking. A few other various scrapes on her face and arms/hands.

Those are the most noticeable changes on her, save for the fact that she also looks two years older ... which, thanks to her previous time bullshit here, she guesses makes her older here than back home. Whatever, that's too much numbers and math thinking for now because she also happens to be more than halfway to tipsy on a bottle of plum rakija. She's earned it, okay.]

So, when you get ported back into this world when the last thing you remember in your home world was dying, is there a membership card for that here? Because I'm thinking we should start a team.

[That's a lot of cynical, sardonic humor in that. Honestly, fuck teams at this point.

And another large drink from her glass before: ]

Also, none of you from universes similar to my own thought of mentioning 'hey by the way there's this ugly purple crazy being named Thanos who is a god damn piece of work' -- which in itself is an understatement by the most massive amounts, but you get the idea -- thanks.

[Not like she'd remember the heads-up when porting back into her universe, but look, let her be salty for a second.

Another drink, finishing off her glass. She gives it a sharp look before red wisps circle it and shatter it into several pieces which fall to the ground. Then she grabs the bottle and starts drinking from it.]

I'm assuming since half of this world doesn't look to be obliterated, the past... however the hell long I was gone -- [she knows it's only been a day, but she doesn't care to state that; not for any reason other than just more details to spit out] -- here have been nicer than my two years I just lived through in my universe?

[Ha. Wanda, out. The feed cuts off suddenly at that moment, with no outro.]

Comments

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[pickledturncoat]

[Oh boy, a drinking buddy.]

Maybe this is some sort of otherworldly afterlife and none of us realize it. Condolences on your demise?

[divaricate]

[yesssssssssss.]

Even for the people who are still alive back in their home universes? Or at least, don't remember dying there.

[If she thinks about that too hard, her drunk brain will probably hurt.]

Thanks, I guess there's worse places to come back to. I'm maybe ten percent more put together here. Twenty when I'm not drunk.

[pickledturncoat]

Perhaps they only think they're still alive. Maybe they never saw it coming. Like in the ghost stories where the ghosts don't realize they're dead.

Personally, I do much better when I'm brined to a certain degree. It keeps one from over-thinking things.

[divaricate]

Also that. Maybe we should start a ghost-hunting show, except we're drunk when do it. It'd be way more entertaining than the guys that just go around sober on those shows repeating some variation of 'duuuude bro bro bro man I think I heard a ghost!!' over and over.

[Just saying.]

See that's good logic.

[pickledturncoat]

Actually, 'duuuude bro bro bro man I think I heard a ghost!!' over and over sounds like something a couple of drunk people would say. Possibly that idea's already been tried; using alcohol to keep any fear at bay.

Of course. I'm the very soul of logic.

[divaricate]

Then thirty-five year old guys who never outgrew the college mentality sound drunk. [no...shit?? she kinda proved his point there but SHRUGS.]

That's a business card worthy statement there.

[pickledturncoat]

Well, those that appear on some show saying 'duuuude bro bro bro man I think I heard a ghost!!' over and over do, at any rate.

[His experience being limited in that respect.]

Can one make a business out of that? Logical Statements for sale, price varies according to length and provability.

[divaricate]

Yes to the first. Also yes to the second -- you could sell your wise words to ... the people who print out the papers for inside fortune cookies, and-slash-or just open a therapy office.

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[am_i_a_monster]

A team, huh? Team dead-gals? Team is-this-hell? I guess it could also be team second-chance.

[She pauses.]

I'm sorry about whatever happened on your world.

[thehawksnest]

["Did you turn the purple guy into that plum stuff?"
"Are you saying we couldn't beat up some Grimace look-alike?"
"So when you say half the world do you mean the handsome half like me or the ugly half like Tony?"

Clint immediately rules out his first 3 impulses because Wanda looks pretty Fucked Up(TM).]

Two years huh? What exactly were you up to for that long?

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[sanguinespell]

[... okay. she doesn't really know Wanda personally, they've spoken maybe once here and she only knows her from the news at home, but this chills Nico. she likes none of what is being implied here.

she doesn't know where to begin. finally:]

What happened?

[quickfingers]

[This doesn't seem great.] You okay, Wan?

[pickledturncoat]

Cookies filled with... luck?

[He has no idea what a fortune cookie is, sorry.]

Oh stars no. I'm the last person who should be giving therapy to anyone.

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[monsterdoc]

[ The background is moving, because you better believe Bruce is coming in your direction, Wanda. ]

Wanda, love... are you okay? No, wait, let me rephrase. What can I do?

[ He'll leave off talk of Thanos just yet because damn, that fight sucked. All of those fights. All.... ten or twelve of them. ]

[divaricate]

We should put all those names in the running. [ha.]

Does half a universe have to end sometime? Death by climate change might have been kinder. [which ... you know, isn't saying much. The bar is very low, here.]

[divaricate]

You know .... running secret missions, staying away from governments, usual Team Fuck-Tony-Stark things.

[divaricate]

Have you ever heard of the infinity stones or gems or whatever we're calling them now? [might as well get that out of the way first.]

[divaricate]

Yep, never better. [a super obvious lie.] All not dust and everything.

[quickfingers]

[He doesn't really know what to say here; takes a pause instead.] D'you wanna talk about it?

[divaricate]

Dropkick a stupid metal glove into the fiery sun where it will melt and no problems will happen because of it. [what.]

I'm on a ... somewhere. [wait what roof did she take up a spot on again??? uhh—] My phone's gps traceable.

[sanguinespell]

The what. [that's a no]

[monsterdoc]

If I can, sure. If someone is wearing it, it's a little harder.

[ Yeah, he's figured out the Infinity Gauntlet is what she is talking about. GFods, he hates that thing. ]

I'm on my way. I'm sorry you had to deal with that, there.

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[fridgeflower]

We did have something of a support group, a while ago...

[ What to even say to stuff like this..? Nothing's good?! ]

I don't think it's been very long. It's been fine here, I suppose.

Sorry that happened to you.

[divaricate]

Six super powerful stones that harness aspects of power -- time, space, reality, blah blah blah. And if you collect them all like they're Pokemon, you become the dungeon master of the universe and control all those things.

[drunk!wanda should explain stuff more often if this is how she does it.]

Aaand some crazy space guy named Thanos got the glove where you have to put those stones in, and wanted to bring balance to the universe by mass murder because apparently that makes sense somehow. [Not really.] So despite the best efforts of Wakandan forces plus the Avengers...

[p o o f]

[divaricate]

Do you have plum rakija?