maskormenace | 004 | Video (Backdated to 11:05pm Tuesday June 5th)

004 | Video (Backdated to 11:05pm Tuesday June 5th)

[ Starr kicks off the video in Chilton's office, sitting at his desk. Chilton's nameplate has been replaced with another one reading: Dr. Herr K. Starr ]

It seems Doctor Chilton has ported out. So until further notice, I will be taking over the Maurtia Falls Psychiatric Hospital for Abnormal Conditions. Staff is to immediately report to me for evaluation and policy updates.

For the time being, we will not be accepting patients unless in the most dire of circumstances -- in which case, I will be able to implement shock therapy. In my humble opinion, such therapy does work best when placed upon ones genitals, but I will leave that up to the patient.

[ He pulls out a notepad, puts on Chilton's reading glasses, and picks up an entirely too fancy pen. ]

Now simply because we will not immediately be taking patients does not mean we cannot get you in the system. So let's start this with the basic question most psychiatrists are sure to ask: what is your deepest, darkest sexual fantasy?

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[ Don't give up hope, Shuichi!! It's not a shitshow when Chilton is in charge of it! ....mostly not. ]

Don't be sorry. He will return.

[ Starr is entirely confident about that fact. The sort of man Chilton could return AS could be different....but he would still return. ]

Well. A psychiatrist may not start out with such an invasive question from the get-go. But they tend to waste time, establish trust and then get you to divulge your deepest darkest secrets. I would much rather skip that process. It's quicker for all parties involved, wouldn't you agree?

I feel like there's more to it than that.

Like...there might be something about helping them to resolve their issues? That aren't always about sex?

For the time being, yes. But I am sure he will be back, so do not fret.

[ He lifts his chin, completely serious when he says: ]

I do not joke.

[Not even a close jump, Starr...]

That sounds more like a personal preference than a guess. Want to try again?

I shouldn't really be surprised with the depth of your faith in something even as unreliable as the porter.

[It's too much effort to have enemies and hold grudges as far as Jack's concerned.]

I can do that.

[Janitorial doesn't even bother him, although he doesn't sound all the enthused by the idea, even of eating bodies. Then again he never sounds enthused by anything.]

You planning on there being a lot of bodies?

Ah, Doctor Chilton. Welcome back. I am currently keeping your seat warm. I think you will be most pleased that I have kept morale up for your staff while you were gone.

[ All except Reggie. Poor Reggie. ]

[He's not exactly a hopeful person but it'a better to try and hope than not. Still... it's difficult to not think about his groin getting electrocuted now. Once you say it it sticks in your head.]

...How are you sure of that?

You consider the questions building up to ones about sexuality a waste of time? ...I won't ignore when something is efficient, but people aren't going to just tell you- those sort of things.

Yes. First and foremost -- for the time being, nudity is also an acceptable uniform around the hospital.

Is it an experiment then? To see how people will react?

Personally, I prefer a nice suit.

[No uniforms for him.]

Do not move. I'm coming for you.

[Probably should have reconsidered that phrasing, but he hadn't the time to edit his language; in less than twenty minutes Chilton is at his own hospital door, stomping through the halls. Flinging open his office door, he brandishes his communicator at the reigning Herr Starr.]

You know what this is about.

[No prologue, no crescendo of intro. Chilton tosses his communicator onto the light blue sofa, routine as it was to his office, and strides towards Starr with his hand out. The manila folder is still clutched by his other, all but forgotten while being hoarded.]

I'll be upfront, Starr, I am going to make this one hurt. A lot.

Were you working with him there before all of this?

Start with a drink and see where it goes. You strike me as someone who can hold their liquor.

[ More like he’s interested in potential clients. Or defendants. Might as well get a little inside information. But there’s a pause, and then he switches to German. ]

« Herr. Are you from Germany? »

Maybe that's because we think so much alike, Doctor Starr.

[ Buddy!!! ]

He may not, but I think he should be grateful for the work you do, the time you're sacrificing. Perhaps he'll need assistance to understand how helpful you were during this time. If you need testimonials, of course...

That does seem pertinent. But no.
I'm pretty sure the open invitation to sexually stimulate your patients is gonna lead to some kind of reprimand from HR.
But.
Hey, if it doesn't. I dated someone who was into that. Chaining me to a wall, shocking the shit out of me.
I guess let me know if you need any tips?

Extremely fitting.

What if somebody isn't there about sex stuff? OR daddy issues?

A hospital for Abnormal Conditions. What would you consider to be abnormal?

With everything.

Particularly with Count Dooku.

We have been over this a million times.

[ Starr spoke, bored already as Chilton came charging in -- armed and ready to hit him with the sedative. It was predictable. He knew this tactic already, and he didn't even bother rising from Chilton's chair. He simply awaited for Chilton to get in arm's reach before he grabbed that hand and twisted in sharply. ]

Why do you not even attempt to go for the element of surprise?

Well. Sexual repression for one, which seems to be the thing in which most imPorts are guilty.

I -- god, ow! [Chilton gasped, his eyes squinting with that sudden and sharp pain.] Stop it.

[His voice didn't change pitch nor tenor, but it deepened nevertheless -- between time and space, its impact deepened. It was as if a soundless vibration had suddenly emitted from his mouth along with those two words.

They were commanding, compelling. Persuasive.]

My new role? Or the questions?

Hm. Not something made of leather?

[ That voice cut through Starr as sharp and lancing as a hot knife. And his body reacted upon sheer instinct -- like touching a stove burner, his hand jerked away from Chilton immediately. The bored expression had been replaced by a wide-eyed amazement at what Chilton had just done. He had done something, right?

Well. There was only one way to find out. Having sated the command, Starr could regain control of himself once again, grabbing a letter opener from the desk and making a move to stab Chilton's hand with it. Hopefully the imminent danger would get Chilton to speak with that voice again. ]

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004 | Video (Backdated to 11:05pm Tuesday June 5th)

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